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I never stated that he was sex crazed or anything like that. I just thought it was odd that such a straight laced professional guy had a mask (of what appeared to be a devil tribal head) outside of his bedroom door. If I had a pic, I'd post it... The mask creeped me out. Again, laugh if you wish, but I took it as a sign.
Straight laced guys need to let loose sometimes too. Maybe he has a kinky side, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
It could very well be a sign - that he's good in the bedroom. Too bad you missed out.
Or it could very well be a coincidence. I think you're reading too much into it.
I think you need to stop thinking that you are holding yourself to a "higher" standard than all of us mere mortals that only do things because we want to be accepted. Seriously - I doubt this belief is helping you.
We all have different beliefs and we are all on different paths. What matters is that you are doing what is right for you. You seem to want people to not judge you negatively for doing what you believe is right for you - all the while judging everyone else negatively for doing what we believe is right for us.
My path led me to the most wonderful man I know. We now have the most wonderful baby boy and a wonderful dog. I didn't sleep with him because I wanted to be accepted. I did it because I wanted to - because it was right for me. And I'm glad I did because it was amazing - and still is 11 years later! I have no regrets in my life - even if there were things that I'm not exactly proud of. So don't go judging people for doing things differently and thinking that we can't think for ourselves while you can - just because we are on different paths doesn't mean that your path is somehow "better" than ours.
Nobody wants to be around someone who thinks they are better than everyone else. It's just not attractive. Be proud of your choices - but you don't need to look down on others to feel good about yourself.
This is so true. I didn't mean to come across as looking down on anyone, but very few people who have commented, understand the other side of the equation.
I think we must all do whatever we deem is right. I can not judge others, but people shouldn't be so quick to judge me either.
I can't change my core beliefs, and I wouldn't expect other people to either.
Many people do change core beliefs during their lifetime. Some of us deeply regret beliefs we once held, and wonder how we could have been so misguided.
One of my favorite quotes now is "I firmly believe it is wrong to hold firm beliefs." (I love both the irony and the sentiment of that statement!)
Open-mindedness is a wonderful attribute. I wish I had realized that far sooner.
I can trace my family tree right back to the 1600's, when official records began in Cornwall, England.
The reason I can trace it is my family are a long line of religious folks, who always got their babies baptised.
The thing is, all the way through the family tree, there are entries for "b(stards". Unwed mothers who had babies.
Not only did they have the babies, they refused *usually* to name the father, kept the babies, had them christened under their own surnames, and baptised at church.
Yes, the church baptised b*stards. Routinely. 500 years ago, no one raised a hair to premarital sex or its result, including the priests.
I never stated that he was sex crazed or anything like that. I just thought it was odd that such a straight laced professional guy had a mask (of what appeared to be a devil tribal head) outside of his bedroom door. If I had a pic, I'd post it... The mask creeped me out. Again, laugh if you wish, but I took it as a sign.
But wait, you said HE broke up with YOU via that email in your OP ... now you are saying you were creeped out before then.
I just thought it was odd that such a straight laced professional guy had a mask (of what appeared to be a devil tribal head) outside of his bedroom door.
If it had been in his kitchen would you have assumed he was a cannibal?
You definitely read too much into the mask thing.
If it even exists. Funny how this thread went from "I'm disappointed that the dude broke up with me because he didn't want to wait for sex" to "I think he's a sex-crazed maniac because he had a creepy mask hanging on his bedroom door."
I do not believe in any form of pre-marital sex. Truthfully, I don't even like to french kiss. There's just something odd about having another person's saliva in my mouth.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'll assume that this is a religious belief (as mine was in my youth). Believing that "sex is a sin" can easily morph into "sex is just not appealing." Forcing oneself to turn off one's natural sex-drive time and time again, for several years, can mess with your libido in a very long-lasting way. It doesn't always magically turn back on for Wedding Night. Or maybe even decades. Or maybe never.
I am truly troubled by how much misery has been caused by a particular interpretation of a few select sentences in a very old book.
But wait, you said HE broke up with YOU ... now you are saying you were creeped out before then.
Hmmm ... are you getting your stories mixed up?
I am stating that when I went to his apartment, I picked up on the fact that he had a devil mask hanging outside of his bedroom door. I viewed that as a sign to be weary. I had never really went into detail about how I felt, but on that particular night, I was very passionate about relaying my feelings. He just listened, but I sensed that he probably had major reservations with pursuing a long-term relationship. The next day I received that email. In truth, I kind of expected it.
Corret me if I am wrong as I am a pretty open minded person. I don't judge or condemn anybody.
OP, since you are strongly against premarital sex, how would you know the person you married to is not a sex maniac weirdo. By saying that, I am talking from my friend's experience.
She married her highschool sweetheart when she was 18 years old. Right after she got married, she found out her husband could only get off by engaging sexually abusive behaviors. She has been miserable for years, but since she did not believe in divorce, she suck it up and tolerate her husband's abuse.
A test drive before the actual marriage is all it takes to fix that problem in my most humble opinion. You don't have to be sexually deviant or sleep around, but you do however must understand and accept the mere fact that sex is required, necessarily and an important factor in a life-affirming satisfying relationship.
The last thing you want to do is stop dating. It's unfortunate that it didn't work out but better this than if you went against your principles, had sex, and then found out he didn't want you. You have to keep at it until you find the one that is fine with your decisions...it's not going to be easy to find him but you aren't looking for just anyone.
This.
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