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My wife and I met at Boston Market. On a night that I was going to go through the drive through but decided to go in and sit down in stead. You just never know...
I had a couple who were family friends who met at the McDonald's drive-thru. She was working the window late at night and his job was a late night job. He went through one night and because the restaurant was slow, started a simple, quick conversation with her. Then he would go through the drive-thru at night more often until he finally asked her out. (Not sure if he did that through the window or not. LOL) They ended up getting married and having two wonderful boys.
Sometimes all it takes is doing one little thing different than you normally do - like driving through McDonald's rather than BurgerKing.
I think it's your outlook on life and your self-perception that is harming you and hampering your success in dating, rather than your actual height or weight. You are down on yourself and no one likes being friends or dating someone who is a downer. You're also presuming that because you're focused on your "flaws", as it were, that everyone else is too, when really, it's your attitude repelling them, not the package it comes in.
I would worry less about dating right now and doing things to better take care of yourself mentally and emotionally, to get over the hurdles you've created for yourself. I believe that what you are, you attract, and what you put out into the universe will come back to you. Once you are in a better emotional state, you will attract similar people, but you're not in a good place now, so you'll either attract other people not in a good place, or not attract anyone at all.
Be kind to yourself and get the help/fix you need to have a happier life.
Take care of yourself first, OP and everything else will fall into place. Dont be yourself when dealing with women, be your best self. Workout and lose the extra weight. Calories in and calories out is the only thing that matters in weight loss, and if you burned more calories than you consumed, you would dissapear. More importantly, take care of your depression and esteem issues. Pick up a workout program, like power 90 or p90x and give it 100%. There are so many amazing benefits to working out regularly and in an effective manner, i have no idea why anyone wouldnt want it. It will give you physical and mental health, and a major increase in self confidence and self esteem departments. You cant change your height, accept it and never think of it as a roadblock again. In other words, be your best self and get healthy in every apect, before you expect a change. I will be shortly puytting out detailed advice for guys who struggle with dating, so stay tuned - im sure there will be a ton of stuff there that can help you out. Best of luck!
I don't know about lowering your standards. It's easy to tell people to do that, but I think the reality would be that a person who lowers his or her standards would be resentful and unappreciative of the other. The outcomes wouldn't be, "At last! This person is really great and I don't feel lonely anymore." I think it would be more like, "I deserve so much better than this person."
The outcomes wouldn't be, "At last! This person is really great and I don't feel lonely anymore." I think it would be more like, "I deserve so much better than this person."
in that case his standards would still be elevated.
I think most have nailed it with you needing to work on the mental aspects first. Lack of confidence is a killer man. Woman pick up on it on a subconsience level as well as a conscience level. Confidence will come easier when you improve your appearance. But you still need to work on the mentality first. A lot of "I can't" or worrying about what others want is making you your own worst enemy. You're right, you can't change others, but you can change you. Remember, you aren't going to see result over night. Whether that be weight loss or change of attitude. And when you do improve your attitude and appearance, although things will be "easier" for you, like the rest of us, you will still find it to be a struggle with the opposite sex at times. That's just the nature of the beast.
On the weight loss, I'll throw in my 2 cents as I lost 56 lbs in 12 months back in 2006 when I was overweight and had no confidence, and have kept it off to this day. I was a mess back then. Then I turned it all around. I'm staunchly against diets. It's about lifestyle change. Everyone I've ever met who dieted to lose weight, put it back on. Low carb? Like any other diet, you can't live on a low carb diet, so when you get off of the diet, you'll put the weight back on. I especially hate the low carb thing. I think it must screw with your metabolism because every person I've ever met on these put weight back on at an alarming rate. I have a friend who has yo-yo'd for the entire 13 years I've known him. Yet he still is convinced that low carb is the way to go. He can barely keep the weight off 3 or 4 months before it's back on. We are talking 40 lbs easy. So obvious, but he can't see it. Friend in Oklahoma, same thing. She is always skinny or very over weight in a matter of months. Another one convinced low-carb is the way to go because it comes off quickly for her. (sorry, I got off on an anti-low carb tangent, I just really hate these things).
Remember, the body adapts quickly. One popular piece of advice is, If you lower your caloric intake by 100 calories a day, you'd lose x amount of lbs per month or year. In the short term, this is can be true depending on lifestyle, etc, but in the long term it's false. Eventually, you body will adjust to that caloric intake. Same thing with exercise. If you never lift weight or never change your cardio, you'll stop dropping weight. So if someone who never exercised suddenly started running 2 miles a day 5 days a week (assuming they could), they would lose weight the first few weeks, but then they would plateau. Suddenly, no weight loss. The key is to not be too repeative / predictable in your work out types and then to push yourself further before you plateau. With running, you want to push yourself to run further if you are running x amount of miles. And lift weights. Muscle uses more fuel.
If I wasn't positive, then hot women wouldn't adore me.
And I love being adored by hot women.
Walking is a great start. Who cares how many calories you burn. Ease your way into a normal workout. You don't have to crush a treadmill and bench 500 pounds tomorrow. Walk a mile every single day rain, sleet, snow, apocalypse. Do that for a whole month. Then for the next whole month, walk 1.25 miles every single day. Keep stepping it up every 30 days. While you do that, you'll feel ready begin a weight lifting routine or some other form of exercise.
And getting in shape doesn't mean hitting a gym and being a steroid user. Play basketball, go golfing, play tennis, walk up stairs instead of taking an elevator. Anything you can do to be more active will help.
Most importantly, make sure you be real about your diet. Don't consume artery clogging, nasty ass stuff. Eat meats and vegetables. Drink lots of water. Eat oatmeal for breakfast. Drink coconut water. Drink 2% milk instead of whole milk. Eat a candy bar only once a week, not once a day. No fruit juices, only fresh fruits.
Food is fuel for your body and your mind. Trust me, you'll feel 100000000x better when you take care of yourself health-wise.
Your advice has been SO good! You are motivating me!
I had a couple who were family friends who met at the McDonald's drive-thru. She was working the window late at night and his job was a late night job. He went through one night and because the restaurant was slow, started a simple, quick conversation with her. Then he would go through the drive-thru at night more often until he finally asked her out. (Not sure if he did that through the window or not. LOL) They ended up getting married and having two wonderful boys.
Sometimes all it takes is doing one little thing different than you normally do - like driving through McDonald's rather than BurgerKing.
Great point! Sometimes getting out of your little ruts can really help a lot, not just with meeting people, but also depression and your general outlook on life. I am rut prone myself so I have to consciously work on this.
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