Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My GF and I have been in a comitted (so I thought) relationship for three years.. For the past of couple month or so there have been nights with her coming in from work later than normal and a general "odd feel" between us. I'm a very trusting person but last night I decided to drive by where she said she'd be-watching the kids of a friend. No car, parents home, hmmm. I finally said "screw it", went back home and popped on her computer. After a quick search for "*.jpg" my fears were confirmed-penis pics. They were even forwarded to her email from her phone, so these were texted to her and "saved".
This person is someone that she knows from before we were together and occasionally pops by.
OK, now what. Yeah-I crossed "the line" but now I'm in a situation of knowing what's up and her now asking me "what's wrong". I did my best of trying to act like I saw nothing but that pretty much failed.
How the hell do I tactfully step into this ****storm of a situation?
Thanks for listening, I joined this forum for the hope of some words of advice.
-D
Last edited by prophead; 02-17-2013 at 10:34 AM..
Reason: specify what was in photos...
depends on what your found, i.e., something intimate, can it be arguably friendship type pics. Are the pics something you can live with?
Also depends on how old you are, were you guys thinking of marriage, how committed are you to keeping this relationship.
This happens more often than you think, people are just human in pursuing their curiosity, especially when their emotions are involved. Usually, I think after the first signs of a non-exclusivity, a couple should have a talk about being honest, sharing passwords, transparency in their friendship/encounters with opposite sex, etc. The bottom line is that if both of you agree you guys have a committed and exclusive relationship, you guys need to agree on some ground rules on how to preserve and maintain it. It's something I only learned through several relationship, and of course involves some changes in my behavior too. Good luck
Well you didn't specify what type of pics they are, but if they are nudes or something inappropriate like that I wouldn't even bother having a conversation. What is there to talk about? I would just start packing. But that is just me.
depends on what your found, i.e., something intimate, can it be arguably friendship type pics. Are the pics something you can live with?
Also depends on how old you are, were you guys thinking of marriage, how committed are you to keeping this relationship.
This happens more often than you think, people are just human in pursuing their curiosity, especially when their emotions are involved. Usually, I think after the first signs of a non-exclusivity, a couple should have a talk about being honest, sharing passwords, transparency in their friendship/encounters with opposite sex, etc. The bottom line is that if both of you agree you guys have a committed and exclusive relationship, you guys need to agree on some ground rules and how to preserve and maintain it. It's something I only learned through several relationship, and of course involves some changes in my behavior too. Good luck
I second this. What did the photos contain? And who is this guy anyway? Is it an ex or just a friend or acquaintance from the past? Was there any dialogue exchanged as well?
You mention there is an odd feeling. Have you been communicating smoothly? I think a non0confrontational sit-down has to be done as it is clear she knows you have something on your mind.
oh, by the way, be very prepared for the "oh how dare you invade my privacy" highly charged emotional response. It's a typical reaction when someone is caught with incriminating pics/info. Your best reaction is to be non-emotional and just say "well if you can't understand why I needed to confirm my suspicions were wrong about you seeing other people, well I guess we are done" (or something to that effect), then leave. You can pick up the pieces later, of you may find out she wanted someone different. But again, all depends on the details of your situation and relationship.
The OP wrote that the pictures were penis pictures.
In my mind, there isn't much left to the imagination. I don't know of any "friend" that I have whose penis pictures I want to see.
Prophead: I went through the same thing in November. Trusted him for 8 years. Things started seeming "off". I'd ask, he'd say that nothing was wrong or that he "had a lot on his mind" without elaborating. He started staying out late and his stories stopped making sense. That's when I started checking up on him - never had I done it before, but he gave me reason at this point. It ended up that he was seeing someone at work. She was "just a friend". (Why do they always say that, when no one believes it????) In a matter of minutes, I was packing my stuff, planning to quit my job and move out of state.
It may not be what others would suggest, but I would confront her just to hear her reasoning/excuses. I also wouldn't believe the reason(s) she gives. Then, I'd plan my exit. I know that it isn't easy. Gawd, I know. But IMHO, if there is no trust, there is no relationship.
And let me just say that she didn't trust in you enough to tell you that she wasn't happy. She didn't hold up her end of the relationship responsibility by allowing you as a couple to try to work it out first.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
A little clarification
