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Yeah, exactly...why would you want to associate with anyone that instilled those emotions in you?... beyond daft.
The mind boggles does it not ? Does not sound like a cunning plan to me to date people who make you shudder and will make you feel ashamed ! I am trying to envisage being seen on the arm of Eric Pickles, Abu Qatada or John Prescott ( and no I do not mean their physiques in case you think me shallow.... ). Brrrrrrrrrrrr.....
Celibacy seems like a much preferable option.
Do you ever feel like the world is insane and you are the only one with a firm grasp on reality reading some posts ?!?! Who knew I was the sane one, I guess something good comes out of being on C-D.
It is like people who are ashamed of the music they listen to or the films they like. Life's too short.
Everytime you create a new thread, the mystery of your never-married-and-over-40 status deepens. I am baffled.
Wow. Very cold, yet very accurate. I admire you.
Back to the subject. I'm sure everybody has had a date with someone who seemed great at first blush but turned out to be a nightmare. I went out with a girl like that once. My God, she was gorgeous in an elegant kind of way. Her last name should have been Bouvier. But once we got past the small talk, it was as if I was on a date with Roseanne Barr in a nicer package. She would say insulting things to my friends without even thinking about it and treated the waiter as if she were the hired help (If there's a better litmus test of character, I don't know what it is). I mean, it's almost as if she had Tourette's or something.
The more pertinent question is why have a second date with that person? I'd would have rather watched a baseball game on TV or hung out with my buds playing pool than go out again with someone who embarrassed me.
settling is a sign you’re pessimistic about your future.Be a dating optimist! If you want to feel sexy, fulfilled, happy, challenged, smart, safe and attracted to your partner, you can.
Somebody else posted that people are not ashamed of their partners, people are ashamed of themselves if they are dating somebody whom they are not attracted to.
I have a girlfriend who believes she needs somebody short, ugly, and fat, so that person will never leave. The sad reality is that the unattractive person still dumped her for somebody else. Don't be afraid of being alone, finding happiness within oneself is hard, finding happiness from others is mission impossible.
This came up in another thread and instead of hijacking the other thread I was curious if this happened to other people. I have to admit there were times that I REALLY wanted a boyfriend and some real doozies appeared. Because I was desperate I dated them but was ashamed of being seen with them in public. I didn't hold hands or show affection because they repulsed me.
1. Out of all the others he's the only one I still talk to. He had a hair metal look (big hair)but his face was pock marked. When he kissed me I literally had to close my eyes because I couldn't stand looking at him. We later broke up because he was interested in dating a girl near his house (he lived 5 hours away)and I wanted to date guys near me too. Through the years he kept contacting me to date but I was eventually honest and told him. He has since been married 3 times and has 4 kids. Oh and at the time I met him I was 18 and just out of high school but he was 21 and still a senior (he flunked three years). He did okay though financially and for awhile was a race car driver and then owned a business.
2. The guy I referred to in another thread was named Dave 1 and he was a sloppy drunk. The reason I dated him was because he was older and for awhile he wined and dined me. However he rarely took a bath or washed his hair and often wore dirty clothes. He later became emotionally abusive.
3. A guy I call tweezers because he was *ahem* lacking in his pants. He wore makeup as well and would berate me because I was "fat" to him at 115 pounds. I dated him very short term. During this time he kept trying to get with my thinner best friend and would call her to complain about my fatness (she was a size zero, and I was a size 6).
4. A guy I will call mouse. Mouse was someone who was originally a friend I met during my relationship with Dave 1. Mouse was very homely (he admits this)and had large ears, large nose, small head (hence the name mouse), pencil thin mustache, also small package, and had a very high voice. This is a guy who I dated years ago, we reunited then he dumped me. It destroyed me and I still suffer from it (it happened three years ago).
5. Dave 2. The cream of the crop in terms of disgusting. He was 5'8, over 300 pounds (close to 400), hook nose and smelly. To boot he was also a con artist and a pimp. He stole from me and I tried to take him to court but there was no concrete proof outside of him crank calling me.
I realize I was stupid in picking these guys and outside of the first one the others really did horrible things to me. I dated many guys (didn't sleep with most of them)so I suppose dating 5 I find repulsive lookwise is small. Interesting to note I realize some of my dating issues comes from these guys, such as not dating obese men or men I don't find attractive.
You should change your name to ILLDATEANYONE. I can't believe someone with that kind of username always dates people who are unattractive as hel l. If you are not in the least bit attracted to "any" of them, then you should just be alone. I would rather be alone than date someone who "repulses" me. It just doesn't make any sense. Are you one of those "needy" women who always has to have someone? The type to have a bf five minutes after their last relationship ended. I just think it's sad that so many people will settle, date fugly people, even take abuse from these people that they don't really even want to date. What is so wrong with being with yourself for a while? Do you people who do this do this because you can't stand yourself? Are you uncomfortable in your own skin? Personally, I like to do many things alone and being lonely and being alone are too different things. I love my space. So does my girl/ heck even my whole family. I guess I am your complete opposite. If my gf and I broke up tomorrow. I would not even want to date anyone else for a while. At first I would enjoy my "me time", then I would try to get rid of the baggage of the last relationship. Then I might want to try dating again. Those are alot of iffs and they wouldn't come fast. I imagine I would be willing/ not neccessary ready to date by about a year. But that's just me. And to each their own!
Last edited by supermanpansy; 03-15-2013 at 12:24 PM..
settling is a sign you’re pessimistic about your future.Be a dating optimist! If you want to feel sexy, fulfilled, happy, challenged, smart, safe and attracted to your partner, you can.
Somebody else posted that people are not ashamed of their partners, people are ashamed of themselves if they are dating somebody whom they are not attracted to.
I have a girlfriend who believes she needs somebody short, ugly, and fat, so that person will never leave. The sad reality is that the unattractive person still dumped her for somebody else. Don't be afraid of being alone, finding happiness within oneself is hard, finding happiness from others is mission impossible.
Great advise as usual Lilyflower.
As to the question posed by the poster, um, I'm embarrassed to admit it, but yeah in my early "20's" I did. It wasn't because I wanted a boyfriend, in fact, I was quite happy being single but there were a few times I needed a date to an event. In hindsight, dark bars were not the place to find a date to the office Christmas party and especially after three or four drinks. Plus, when I'd get the party or affair that I needed a date for, most of time I had forgot their name since I had just met them the night before, gave them my number, asked them to take me to the party and that's it until party time came.
"Hey what's your dates name?"
"Ahem, I don't, ahem, remember," was my answer a lot of the time.
Luckily though, not a one of them was stinky, ugly or rolled their own cigarettes or demeaning. However, after getting to know them at the party I usually had nothing in common with them or was not that attracted enough to them to date them again. I figured they got free food and drinks at the party so what the heck. In retrospect I'd never do that again. I never led them on to think there was more either, I was honest about needing them just for the event.
Other than that, no I never dated anyone I wasn't attracted to, which doesn't mean all of the men I dated were handsome. I've been attracted to some real oddballs in the looks department before. I could not waste someone's time like that just because I, personally, was lonely and insecure. It wouldn't have been fair.
All right. I will admit it. I kinda sorta went through something like this in my mid-20s.
It wasn't his looks. It wasn't his job. It wasn't his education, or lack thereof.
It was that every single time he opened his mouth, he sounded like a woman-hating Rush Limbaugh wanna-be.
I heard, I cringed, and eventually, I dumped.
On the plus side, it got me to thinking about my own politics and what I stood for. I thought, "OMG, do I sound like that, too? If I vote Republican again, am I casting myself in with his lot?"
Oh IDDY, sometimes I wonder about you and the stuff you debouch on us. Is it real? Is it made up? Is it embellished for effect? Was she taking medication when she posted this?
All right. I will admit it. I kinda sorta went through something like this in my mid-20s.
It wasn't his looks. It wasn't his job. It wasn't his education, or lack thereof.
It was that every single time he opened his mouth, he sounded like a woman-hating Rush Limbaugh wanna-be.
I heard, I cringed, and eventually, I dumped.
On the plus side, it got me to thinking about my own politics and what I stood for. I thought, "OMG, do I sound like that, too? If I vote Republican again, am I casting myself in with his lot?"
And that was that.
Well, at least you learned something valuable from the experience. Not all Republicans are bitter, spiteful and paranoid, but enough of them are to steer clear as a rule.
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). Brrrrrrrrrrrr..... 
Who knew I was the sane one, I guess something good comes out of being on C-D. 
but yeah in my early "20's" I did. It wasn't because I wanted a boyfriend, in fact, I was quite happy being single but there were a few times I needed a date to an event. In hindsight, dark bars were not the place to find a date to the office Christmas party and especially after three or four drinks. Plus, when I'd get the party or affair that I needed a date for, most of time I had forgot their name since I had just met them the night before, gave them my number, asked them to take me to the party and that's it until party time came. 
