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I have read so much on here about women saying we need to let the man lead. And while this is true, I think to an extent (please feel free to disagree with me) this is fear based thinking. How do I be more assertive in a subtle way? I seem to have two speeds, so passive I come off as cold , uncaring (which is ironic because I am a very passionate woman) or so aggressive I'm like a mack truck. Of course the mack truck is a bit too masculine and has not worked well for me. I know in the past focusing on my life and really having a life without faking it has helped as has being in the right place right time , which we don't have much control over. I think dressing a little sexier (not sl*tty) will help. But how to be assertive with texting and arranging dates, etc. once I'm at that stage? And how much truth is there to "if he likes you you can do no wrong?" Thank you.
You know what its a matter of finding out what works for you. Ladies can let the guy take the lead, ladies themselves can take the lead, or go for a give and take approach. I think its a matter of what is comfortable no need to feel like you have to railroad yourself.
I think the "rules" only matter if you feel they apply. Men and women are not monolithic hive minds some stuff work some stuff won't its just a matter of finding what works.
People have flaws. If he likes you, I feel he'd like you despite your flaws. But you're human and he's human and both can do wrong. Can you forgive and work through it?
Also, what findly said. I think there's too many formulas on life and relationships and it leads to game playing because no two people are exactly alike. I think it's better to learn from your partner if it's about them.
I need to feel like my assertiveness is accepted by my mate because I can't play submissive and weak-willed all my life. I tried that, it's stifling, I'm not doing it again. There has to be growth and change for me. I care about my mate and his opinions, his views, his feelings on things and so we work together and compromise on things, but I'm not short changing myself in the process. It's team work.
Its all about timing and finding guys who fit with both your personality and your desires, because believe it or not but some guys get turned on by women who play hot one minute and cold the next (strange as it is.)
Edit: Oh and if you want to be more assertive than just cast aside all pre-disposed notions of rejection and what have you and just set up the dates. It may require that you initiate first contact but the worst he will say is no.
I don't think women need to let the man lead. I don't. Be yourself and you'll attract a man who is appropriate.
Most women that aren't brainwashed with feminist BS like their man to lead. Drop subtle hints of what you want and if he knows women well, he'll read and lead.
I like a woman who is a bit assertive. I'm in management at my job, so I'm making decisions on a daily basis. At the same time, my personal life and my career life are two separate identities. When I come home I want to be able to have fun. A woman who can take some load off of me is a woman that I could settle down with.
Most women that aren't brainwashed with feminist BS like their man to lead. Drop subtle hints of what you want and if he knows women well, he'll read and lead.
Can't it also be said that most women who aren't brainwashed to believe that they are to be docile like to have a say? That if they are blunt and upfront he can clearly get the message and do what you ask?
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Can't it also be said that most women who aren't brainwashed to believe that they are to be docile like to have a say? That if they are blunt and upfront he can clearly get the message and do what you ask?
