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Hello, let me introduce myself. I am a woman in my middle 40th.
I came to America several years ago, and now I have a good professional career, thanks to my diploma.
My parents and all relatives live overseas, and I don't have kids: it was not a choice, unfortunately my body refused to do it...
I met my Boyfriend 4 years ago, and we became great friends and finally moved in together. We used to help each other in all possible ways, we were really good partners, and... that's it. No sex, never. He can't do it, he is just not interested in it, and he refused to go to a doctor.
It is not OK with me, but he is a good guy in everything else.
We live in a small city in the Midwest. You know, that type of cities: everyone is married, and if you are a single woman, you are just not very welcomed. At least, it's my impression. We can't move out to a bigger city, mostly because of my career. He is not very successful, but he finally found a job.
Now... he wants us to get married. I do like him very much, but... it's not love or passion, just a friendship. I am too young, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life without having sex. He is much older, so there is no hope it can change.
From the other hand, I don't think myself attractive any more, since I got some extra weight recently. Not too bad, but it hurts to see myself in the mirror: I used to be different.
To be very honest, I am terribly afraid to find myself alone again: no relatives, no true friends, not even former classmates or co-workers in this country, and my self esteem is somewhere close to 0.
I don't have anybody to talk with, I don't know what to do, and I would really appreciate your opinion about my situation.
Should you get married? No no no!!
He sounds like nice guy... since he isn't interested in sex he shouldn't mind if you stayed friends with him.
Don't sell yourself short, and what makes you think that you aren't attractive? I think your low self esteem is distorting your self image.
Things will be better if you can focus on things that make you happy, find activities to do with other people. Exercise, it will be good for your health and help with your feelings. It will help put the smile back on your face and people find that attractive.
Ask him why does he want to marry you if he isn't willing to do what a normal husband does. Does he think marriage is a way to keep you from leaving? That is obviously one of the worst reasons to get married. I'm not sure why you can't remain friends like you are now and not be married.
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