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He said she was the one doing the chasing before. Maybe she wasn't getting enough back back then and some feeling was lost along the way. It happens slowly Then a 3 week break happened and the already weak connection she felt is not motivating enough.
I suggest the op show more interest rather than less and not worry about seeming "too desperate" or "pushing her away".
I agree with Beachmel...cut out the crap. Tell her you've been something of a ******** and then tell her, directly, how you feel about her and that you want to be with her more. That, or just lay off.
He said she was the one doing the chasing before. Maybe she wasn't getting enough back back then and some feeling was lost along the way. It happens slowly Then a 3 week break happened and the already weak connection she felt is not motivating enough.
I suggest the op show more interest rather than less and not worry about seeming "too desperate".
Good advice!
The OP sounds like me years ago. I was head over heels for a woman in college. We hung out a lot, enjoyed each other''s company. Yet, things were not progressing romantically. I enjoyed our time so much I was afraid if I came on too strong it would chase her away. Yet, I was completely unsatisfied in the more friend-like state of the relationship.
Looking back, I feel she was hopeful I would make a move, which I did not do for fear of losing what we had built to that point. Eventually, the whole thing died out.
It was a good life lesson for me in communication. Not to guess to another's thoughts, be clear with my own, and ask if you want to know something.
The OP sounds like me years ago. I was head over heels for a woman in college. We hung out a lot, enjoyed each other''s company. Yet, things were not progressing romantically. I enjoyed our time so much I was afraid if I came on too strong it would chase her away. Yet, I was completely unsatisfied in the more friend-like state of the relationship.
Looking back, I feel she was hopeful I would make a move, which I did not do for fear of losing what we had built to that point. Eventually, the whole thing died out.
It was a good life lesson for me in communication. Not to guess to another's thoughts, be clear with my own, and ask if you want to know something.
This is really common. At least you learned. Some people don't and keep repeating.
This is really common. At least you learned. Some people don't and keep repeating.
I will share an anecdote, which is a little off topic but may give the OP something to think about.
As I am sure you have seen before here (but maybe not the OP), my wife and I knew each other for some time when we started dating. We met on match.com, and spent a long time communicating at a distance before dating. We both had some feelings for each other by the first date, and it was not a normal "first date" in that we knew a LOT about each other.
So after the third date, we obviously had some chemistry going and were very interested. We were talking about our expectations and goals for our individual futures, and I was internally debating how to tell her I had feelings for her. We had a lot in common, but I know she had a reservation or two (she was out of a toxic, emotionally abusive marriage, and was still healing and rebuilding trust in others).
My experience in college had been on my mind. How I never made my feelings clear and ended up with nothing.
I decided I had to be clear. So half way from our date taking her home, I pulled over and told her I was falling in love with her. That I knew this was being forward, and that I did not know if the feeling was mutual, how she would react, or whether there would really be anything there long term or not.
Just that it was how I felt, that I wanted her to know how I felt without guessing, and that I felt it was worth the risk in telling her that.
I will never forget the look on her face. Even if she had an idea how I felt, she certainly was shocked and surprised that I had laid it out there. Not in a bad way, but in a way that suddenly and unexpectedly escalated the known expectations. (and it was not sex-motivated either, we had not had any sex yet).
Now, I would not recommend that on a normal third date either, but for us, it really felt like we had known and dated a much longer time.
My motivation, I did not want to leave it to chance again. She was then upfront, and with a few hours of discussion really knew where each other stood.
I guess it worked well... we grew closer and are happily married now! we also could proceed without guessing to our intentions, or what each other was thinking. We knew each other's goals and plans, and could therefore treat and analyze our relationship accordingly.
You're getting all soft and mushy on her. It started with no-strings attached sex and now you are throwing boyfriend lines at her.
If she's a real 10, she gets those boyfriend lines all the time from guys who she thought were just her friends, FBs, and guys she's dating.
Best to move on.
That's assuming a lot.
It's not fair.
Maybe she wants a relationship but all the guys act exactly like this (like they only want FB) cause they all assume/project something. Maybe she thinks that's all she can get cos Sex is all that's ever offered to her.
we really haven't hung out much passed sex but always known each other. i hit her up tonight (5 days after she said she be in town soon) saying "hey when are you gonna be in town id like to see you" . if she doesnt respond to that ill probably just let it go..
she may be putting up a defense sheild...so shes maybe re assessing the situation like the person above said? i dno, i dont feel like ive smothered her in the slightest, so this will be the last text i send. its just bizarre, she made it very clear everytime how much she loved the sex, and she was the one who seemed to be leaning toward relationship but it was right before i left... well see what happens..
Here is where you screwed up my friend...
You never texted or called the whole time you were gone!!
3 weeks!!! That's eternity when it's someone you like to talk to!!!
Then you return 3 weeks later like, "I'm horny when do I get to see you?"
You are gunna have to try harder! Maybe drive where she lives with flowers and a,"I missed you sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!!!!!!!"
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