Is A Relationship Worth All The Effort It Seems To Be Just To Establish One? (women, love)
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"I'm now 36 years old,and . . . I've never been in a real intimate relationship with a girl. . . ." Be brave. If you don't try, you'll never know.
". . . never really had the confidence or drive in how to go about it."
Improve your confidence: get in shape, take a seminar, read a book, get a make-over (hairstyle and wardrobe)--whatever you think that you need. You wouldn't compete in a marathon without training. Get into "shape"--whatever that means for you.
". . . really trying to do so through various dating sites. . . . I've gotten a few numbers here,and there. You seem to be having some success. Keep it up.
"But it all seems like a superficial work to me. Is it because I'm just shallow?" I really don't know.
"Or is it because I am really only looking for sex. I don't know..." Ditto.
"I'm just frustrated with the whole process of it." You have to break some eggs to make an omelet. Maybe that was the wrong metaphor to use. (just a little humor) Just keep on trying, Rome wasn't built in a day.
"How in the world will I ever be able to keep a relationship thriving if I get into one".
That will depend on the relationship. Some relationships require little "maintenance" others require a lot. It all depends on the people in the relationship. You BOTH make it work. It shouldn't be one-sided.
"And as fleeting as the relationships are these days."
I've been married for MANY years and I know lots of people who have been married longer than I've been alive. -just proof that all relationships aren't fleeting.
"How will I be able to handle it if my heart gets crushed in the process."
It's hard, but people do manage break-ups. Sometimes a break-up leads to a new and better relationship. If it doesn't last, you'll still gain experience and know more about what kind of relationship you REALLY want.
"If I fall in love...I want it to be forever with the same freaking girl. I guess...."
We all want that. Well, MOST people want THAT.
Just try to have a positive attitude. If you want to succeed, you will. Maybe, not with the first girl that you date, but eventually.
1000 women! Wow...that's just insane for my ADD brain to try to even fathom. Just setting up one date seems to be an immense hurdle for me.lol...Most of these girls just want to email for ever. I on the other hand...feel like I going through a kind of mid-life crisis. Feeling like life is passing me by,and I've yet to even have any success in doing what "normal" people have been doing like brushing their teeth since high-school lol.
Maybe "Speed Dating" would be a good way for you to kick-start your dating. Then, you aren't technically setting up the first date--just showing up and getting numbers.
Not really. But why is it that women seem to put on this air as though they don't like sex or something?
Like I see tons of quotes from women just like this, but 0 from men.
"1. I am NOT interested in a friends with benefits situation, if this is what you are looking for, then I suggest you move on to the next."
But always have wanted to be. Just have never really had the confidence or drive in how to go about it. But here recently I've been really trying to do so through various dating sites. Communicating back and forth through emails...I've gotten a few numbers here,and there. But it all seems like a superficial work to me. Is it because I'm just shallow? Or is it because I am really only looking for sex.<<<<<<<<
I'm now 36 years old,and pretty much been by myself my entire life. Besides a few sporadic, fluke one night stands that I had throughout my 20s. Where the girls in a drunken fervor practically rapped me. lol...Which was perfectly fine with me being as shy as I am. But other than that I've never been in a real intimate relationship with a girl. But always have wanted to be. Just have never really had the confidence or drive in how to go about it. But here recently I've been really trying to do so through various dating sites. Communicating back and forth through emails...I've gotten a few numbers here,and there. But it all seems like a superficial work to me. Is it because I'm just shallow? Or is it because I am really only looking for sex. I don't know...I'm just frustrated with the whole process of it. I'm like..."How in the world will I ever be able to keep a relationship thriving if I get into one". And as fleeting as the relationships are these days. How will I be able to handle it if my heart gets crushed in the process. If I fall in love...I want it to be forever with the same freaking girl. I guess....
Its not easy bro. Whats funny is that you sound like a 20 something year old. You should know what you already like in a woman by the time you reach your 30s. I agree it takes to much work to kindle fire and keep the flame from burning out with some women these days. I'm also looking for the same and I to don't really want a relationship but currently I have 3 women who I'm not really into trying to pursue me for a courtship. Sadly as a guy I realize that I can not choose a woman to be with unless if I'm paying for it, its generally women who make the choice if she wants to be with a particular guy. I just had a woman I have been talking to the past few months say to me the other day, look your turning 30 soon and you don't want to be in a relationship?
despite what you read, here, there are a lot of happy couples who met on-line. You don't hear about them, because they are happy! Same is true with many couples that met at clubs, bars, you name it. Think happy ending.
1000 women! Wow...that's just insane for my ADD brain to try to even fathom. Just setting up one date seems to be an immense hurdle for me.lol...Most of these girls just want to email for ever. I on the other hand...feel like I going through a kind of mid-life crisis. Feeling like life is passing me by,and I've yet to even have any success in doing what "normal" people have been doing like brushing their teeth since high-school lol.
I know how you feel (last sentence). I am 44 and i haven't had a relationship either. I had women around me who really liked me but because i believed i wasn't the type of guy women would be interested in dating, having a relationship with, etc. I let them slip away. Now i wonder if i was meant to be in a relationship at all. If not, thats life i guess. Some of us never find the proverbial genie within the lamp to grant us our hearts desires.
I'm now 36 years old,and pretty much been by myself my entire life. Besides a few sporadic, fluke one night stands that I had throughout my 20s. Where the girls in a drunken fervor practically rapped me. lol...Which was perfectly fine with me being as shy as I am. But other than that I've never been in a real intimate relationship with a girl. But always have wanted to be. Just have never really had the confidence or drive in how to go about it. But here recently I've been really trying to do so through various dating sites. Communicating back and forth through emails...I've gotten a few numbers here,and there. But it all seems like a superficial work to me. Is it because I'm just shallow? Or is it because I am really only looking for sex. I don't know...I'm just frustrated with the whole process of it. I'm like..."How in the world will I ever be able to keep a relationship thriving if I get into one". And as fleeting as the relationships are these days. How will I be able to handle it if my heart gets crushed in the process. If I fall in love...I want it to be forever with the same freaking girl. I guess....
Well I certainly can't answer the 'why' for you. Are you really only looking for sex? If so, why the question about relationship?
In my opinion, the effort put forth in and for a relationship is absolutely worth it. You have to be able to want a relationship with that person to do the things necessary to keep it thriving. I am not sure it is exactly what you want.
Your post is all over the place with just wanting sex then wanting it to be forever in love with the same person. What is it that you want and is it important enough to you? Can another person even be important enough to you to warrant a relationship?
If you want sex, then you probably do not want the effort, obligation, and to varying extent, drama which can come with a relationship.
If you want a companion and partner in addition to sex, then a relationship can be extremely fun and satisfying.
Depends on what you really want.
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If you don't try, you'll never know.
Just keep on trying, Rome wasn't built in a day.
Speed Dating?
