Women's view of men and pornography (marriage, kids, definition, casual)
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I think you're looking at it a bit wrong... I've noticed that men are MUCH pickier about women (especially their looks) and from talking to a few of my girlfriends, they expect 'porn star' quality sex even if the woman isn't comfortable with certain aspects of it.
I don't think it's because women are trying to control men's orgasm or anything ridiculous like that, it's just that more and more are choosing internet porn over a real, live woman because in porn you get airbrushed perfection, fake moaning and women who are willing to do basically anything. Why would you choose an actual woman who may have opinions or even preferences when you can use porn?
For example, my ex. He was really into porn and constantly compared my body and what I was doing with him in bed to the porn he'd seen. He thought of it as 'constructive criticism' but I really didn't see how telling me he thought my boobs were disgusting because they didn't stick straight up like *insert porn stars name here* when I was lying on my back.
So yeah, I do think younger men are being desensitized to actual flesh and blood women and it may be more difficult for them to be sexually aroused to the 'flaws' we all carry around when compared to surgically enhanced women who are basically doing whatever the guys tell them too. I'm sure it's difficult to give up that sense of control for them.
Maybe it's just me, but all I want is ENTHUSIASM. Not funky moves, or crazy positions, or anything too off the wall...I'd be happy if she just acted like she wanted to be there and showed some enthusiasm for the act.
(My wife and I are working on that...with a decent degree of success so far)
When I told the ex that this is leading to a form of erectile dysfunction in young men due to desensitization, her response was one of utter disgust and she said that it serves them right... and they should go blind too. This wasn't a joke. It was genuinely hostile.
Is it any wonder I divorced the *****? While the bonanza of internet novelty is a problem, this is clearly a completely normal drive in men. Yet her response is to despise men for who and what we are.
Actually, watching so much porn that they get erectile dysfunction it is not who and what men are. It's what weak-minded men with no self-control or self-discipline are. Most men who view porn do not allow themselves to become dependent on it or lose their sexual function over it. They also have the ability to separate fantasy from reality, and they understand that what goes on in porn is not reality.
It's normal for men to enjoy some porn. It's not normal for men to become dependent on it to get it up or expect the average woman to look like or engage in the same activities as porn stars.
Maybe it's just me, but all I want is ENTHUSIASM. Not funky moves, or crazy positions, or anything too off the wall...I'd be happy if she just acted like she wanted to be there and showed some enthusiasm for the act.
Amen. It's such a huge turnoff when a woman thinks sex is supposed to be something she just lies there and has done to her.
I completely get that all men look at porn, that doesn't bother me at all. Men are EXTREMELY visual, much moreso than women, which is why I think many women don't understand nudie mags and porn.
Nope, I've yet to meet a single guy that didn't look at porn and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I watch porn here and there as well, and think it can be fun watching it with a partner. The problem came when he started suggesting plastic surgery and putting me down because I didn't look like those women. There were also certain sex acts that we tried and I didn't feel comfortable with or didn't like and he made me feel terrible about it because apparently it was 'my job' to make him happy and my happiness and pleasure didn't factor into that at all.
Actually, watching so much porn that they get erectile dysfunction it is not who and what men are. It's what weak-minded men with no self-control or self-discipline are. Most men who view porn do not allow themselves to become dependent on it or lose their sexual function over it. They also have the ability to separate fantasy from reality, and they understand that what goes on in porn is not reality.
Okay, now what does that have to do with what I said? I said the use of porn was determined to be 100%. Therefore the use of porn is definitively normal. I didn't say that ED occurs in 100% of them. But it is stated that the rate of addiction is much higher than with other forms of addiction.
And your take that addiction is a choice comes right out of 1952. You are condemning 12 year old boys and up. A person may not realize that they are addicted; especially people so young.
If you watch the video - what is water? That is the key statement [question] in this respect. They have no proper frame of reference.
I was merely citing the study from the lecture linked. If you have a problem with the facts, then I suggest joining Fox News.
Quote:
It's normal for men to enjoy some porn. It's not normal for men to become dependent on it to get it up or expect the average woman to look like or engage in the same activities as porn stars.
It is common for men to become addicted. It could easily be argued for the people prone to addiction, addiction is normal, but that doesn't make it healthy.
She was offended by all use of porn. God forbid that she might recognize that men do this. I had forgotten how far behind in the dust she is now, in her own little imaginary world.
A study was done to quantify the effects of internet porn on young men. It wasn't possible to find a control group because 100% of the men surveyed use internet porn - no one isn't using it!
When I told the ex that this is leading to a form of erectile dysfunction in young men due to desensitization, her response was one of utter disgust and she said that it serves them right... and they should go blind too. This wasn't a joke. It was genuinely hostile.
Is it any wonder I divorced the *****? While the bonanza of internet novelty is a problem, this is clearly a completely normal drive in men. Yet her response is to despise men for who and what we are.
The ex is a lost cause. But I wonder, are women finally outgrowing this naïve view of men - that our basic impulses are disgusting? It is my perception that younger women are generally more accepting of pornography. More and more women admit to using porn themselves. But I don't know if there have always been women who are comfortable with sexuality and would have always been okay with porn, or if the views of women are indeed generally changing across the board.
The fact is that before the internet was Playboy and Penthouse, and before that were adult books, and before that was the bra and panty section of the JC Penny's catalogue.
Please tell me you don't honestly believe this is true???? Give me a break.
* Porn might make it a little easier not to have a girlfriend/wife, but it is not a driving force. Anyone who says this is viewing women as merely inferior sex objects to photography.
* Some posters think it is healthy for men to be motivated by their sex drives to seek out women (eschewing masturbation). What? So you are OK with rape then. If I guy needs a built-up sperm count and a raging hard-on to go out and meet women, they should keep garden hoses in singles bars to keep the horny animals at bay.
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* If porn movies are so awful and dangerous to women, women should also be threatened by makeup, high heels, short skirts, most movies and sitcoms, most female newcasters, most female actresses, etc. etc. Sexual titillation is everywhere nowadays.
Some of these things have been targeted as potentially harmful to women, sociologically speaking. I'll be the first to agree it isn't right that sometimes women have to wear certain things to look "good" or be considered professional whereas a man can get by just fine being much more comfortable. And it isn't right that the media and society in general seem to promote the idea that a woman's physical appearance is more important than a man's.
There is much evidence to suggest pornography is dangerous.
"...the current results showed an overall significant positive association between pornography use and attitudes supporting violence against women in nonexperimental studies. In addition, such attitudes were found to correlate significantly higher with the use of sexually violent pornography than with the use of nonviolent pornography, although the latter relationship was also found to be significant. The study resolves what appeared to be a troubling discordance in the literature on pornography and aggressive attitudes by showing that the conclusions from nonexperimental studies in the area are in fact fully consistent with those of their counterpart experimental studies. This finding has important implications for the overall literature on pornography and aggression."
"Subjects were randomly assigned to the sexually violent, sexually nonviolent, or control exposure conditions. Those assigned to the sexually violent or sexually nonviolent conditions were exposed over a four-week period to ten stimuli including feature-length films and written and pictorial depictions, whereas control subjects were not exposed to any stimuli. About a week following the end of the exposure phase, subjects participated in what they believed to be a totally unrelated experiment in which aggression was assessed within a Buss paradigm. Exposure to the violent or nonviolent pornographic stimuli was found to affect laboratory aggression."
The following is a document in which the author lists other associations between pornography and violence against women, including acceptance of the rape myth and trivialization of rape.
"A 1984 study by Dolf Zillmann of the University of Indiana and Jennings Bryant of the University of Houston found evidence that shows an exposure to non-violent pornography leads to an increased interest in violent porn." It also creates a taste for porn that portrays less commonly practiced sexual activities, including those involving the infliction of pain." In Zillman and Bryant's research featured in the Journal of Applied Social Psychology (Vol. 18, 1988) it revealed that repeated exposure to pornography results in a decreased satisfaction with one's sexual partner, with the partner's sexuality, with the partner's sexual curiosity, a decrease in the valuation of faithfulness, and a major increase in the importance of sex without attachment."
Pornogrpahy: A Report - An In-depth Look At The Effects or Pornography, American Family Association, P.O. Drawer 2440, Tupelo, MS 38803 p. 11 (to verify online)
"A meta-analysis of 46 published research studies on the effects of pornography on sexual perpetration, attitudes regarding intimate relationships, and attitudes regarding the rape myth found that exposure to pornographic material puts one at increased risk for committing sexual offenses, experiencing difficulties in one’s intimate relationships, and accepting rape myths (i.e. beliefs that trivialize rape or blame the victim for the crime). Specifically, there is a 22% increase in sexual perpetration; a 20% increase in negative intimate relationships; and a 31% increase in believing rape myths. A total sample size of 12,323 people comprised the present meta-analysis. The studies confirmed the link between increased risk for negative development when exposed to pornography."
"Pornography addiction is frantic learning, and perhaps this is why many who have struggled with multiple addictions report that it was the hardest addiction for them to overcome. Drug addictions, while powerful, are more passive in a 'thinking' kind of way, whereas pornography viewing, especially on the Internet, is a much more active process neurologically. The constant searching and evaluating each image or video clip produced for potency and effect is an exercise in neuronal learning and rewiring.
Human sexual climax utilizes the same reward pathways as those mobilized during a heroin rush.
If we fail to understand the implications of pornography’s ability to re-program the brain structurally, neurochemically, and metabolically, we doom ourselves to continue to fail in treating this formidable disease. However, if we accord this powerful natural reward the appropriate focus and emphasis we can help many now trapped in addiction and despair find peace and hope."
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Does anymore even need to be said?