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I have a theory, only half-facetious. I call it "the rise of the nerds".
At one time, pocket-protector'd poindexters were simply not part of the mating pool at all. They were doomed to a life of celibacy or at best paying for companionship. They made the best of it in their quiet way, and resigned themselves to a life given meaning by their peculiar hobbies--sputnik-spotting or model train building or collecting slide rules--and not by the sweet touch of womanhood.
Then the Computer Revolution struck sometime in the 1980s and practically overnight, nerds and geeks became somewhat date-able. Their skills and autistic work habits were suddenly in demand and many of them became rich starting tech companies in their garages. Females could no longer afford to casually overlook the poorly-groomed electrical engineering PhD in the next cubicle--he might end up as a hedge fund quant pulling down seven figures and retiring at 35.
So nerds began to have sex and even love-lives. But they never lost their defining trait: an obsessive focus on and prefence for rule-based behavior. This factor, which made them great computer programmers or Dungeon Masters, is the main thing driving the current popularity of "pickup artistry" which is nothing less than an attempt to quantify female behavior and render it into an algorithim to be manipulated by men with little to no innate social sense.
It's the crypto-aspies and obsessive video gamers out there, with their overly literal interpretation of female psychology, who are frustrated with this "no means no" business. Why can't women just say what they mean! Why can't a girl be more like an operating system! And so they attempt, a bit late in life, to learn by rote the blushes, hesitant glances, tones of voice and hair tosses. "Indicators of Interest" they're called, rather scientifically. These folks are the main drivers of today's culture, and there you have it.
Well as I see it is coordinated attack from “sisters” at my person. At last you should attack another guys to who support multiple approach, not only me.
Do you really think there is a secret women's agreement to club together to harrass guys like you on CD?
Really?
Why would we? What's so important about you that you require "coordinated attacks" by a bunch of "sisters"?
All sounds very gangsta. Most of us women are just trying to get the kids fed and get to work on time, why would we care about what some random on CD thinks?
Well as I see it is coordinated attack from “sisters” at my person. At last you should attack another guys to who support multiple approach, not only me.
Honey, you are the one who asked the question, so yes the replies are directed at you.
Why don't you simply assume that no means no most of the time? You're no good at interpreting intent. If someone tells you they don't want to date you, just believe her. You will have more success that way and waste less time.
Well this reminds me of an interesting incident on the train yesterday.
I vaguely overheard a guy hitting on a girl. I think she chatted with him for a and she turned him down/denied his advances. He kept talking and making statements that I wold find offensive. (Basically stereotyping her based on her ethnicity). I didn't overhear the entire convo, but in the end she was not interested.
Well a few minutes later (maybe more) she walked by again, and he kept trying. She decided to take an unusual tact. Sh raiser her voice, and asked for everyone on the train's attention. She gave a warning, paraphrasing here, "This guy is a creep, do not go near him."
I wouldn't have been surprised if he was the type to cross the line verbally and physically by grabbing her arm or something else. He sounded like he thought he was entitled to her phone number.
Some people looked skeptical. I didn't here everything he said, but again, when a woman says no. Accept it and move on. Don't harass her.
And for you men out there, if you'd like to know why women do not respond to your public advances? Many of us have had experiences where we feel threatened and unsafe because of some over-aggressive man. This probably happens to women of certain ethnic groups more than others, but past experiences have trained us to be leery.
Well this reminds me of an interesting incident on the train yesterday.
I vaguely overheard a guy hitting on a girl. I think she chatted with him for a and she turned him down/denied his advances. He kept talking and making statements that I wold find offensive. (Basically stereotyping her based on her ethnicity). I didn't overhear the entire convo, but in the end she was not interested.
Well a few minutes later (maybe more) she walked by again, and he kept trying. She decided to take an unusual tact. Sh raiser her voice, and asked for everyone on the train's attention. She gave a warning, paraphrasing here, "This guy is a creep, do not go near him."
I wouldn't have been surprised if he was the type to cross the line verbally and physically by grabbing her arm or something else. He sounded like he thought he was entitled to her phone number.
Some people looked skeptical. I didn't here everything he said, but again, when a woman says no. Accept it and move on. Don't harass her.
And for you men out there, if you'd like to know why women do not respond to your public advances? Many of us have had experiences where we feel threatened and unsafe because of some over-aggressive man. This probably happens to women of certain ethnic groups more than others, but past experiences have trained us to be leery.
My thread and most males here that say NO is not maybe NO do not think about such situation. If NO is said for that day it is NO for sure. None of us would try again that day. Just if I see some signs of interest after that.
Fact is, is there's tons of women out there who play dumb games like this.
So, play some of your own games.
No means yes, and yes means harder.
And 50 no's and a yes, means yes.
Play those types of games and you'll be the next Casanova.
Yah I really dig guys like that. A buddy of mine was on a ski lift when some stupid college pukes were chanting "no means yes, yes means anal". Idiots. Be like them. I'll bet you get a lot of dates!
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