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I've been dating a woman(both on our mid 40's) for 2 yrs. When I really sit back and look at our relationship, it is FWB. We will go out drinking with friends, go shopping together(grocery, etc) when we don't have our kids home from college. We go to concerts, weekend vacations, text, call, talk, etc. But we don't love each other, never have said it anyway, don't live together, don't even spend the night together.
I always thought I'd get married after my divorce, married 18+yrs. But really, is this situation not better than marriage?
I do still feel the urge to be married. Might have to do with religion, what I'm doing is sin.(sex out of wedlock)
Well, considering I'm not even 5 months out of a 22-year marriage, I say ANYTHING is better than marriage.
Is your current situation better than marriage? Only you can know that. If you haven't been divorced long, it might be perfect for you right now, because you certainly don't want to rush into another marriage.
In the last few months, I've been on dates with four different men who are all divorced from their second wives, whom they married too soon after their first divorces, imo. What this immediately tells me is that a) these guys are terrified of being alone for any length of time, and b) they consequently exercise poor judgement in rushing into other relationships. You'd think that having already gone through one divorce would have made them a little wiser, but apparently not.
DON'T be one of those guys. Take your time, and enjoy your FWB relationship for as long as you want it to last. As for your feelings of guilt about having sex out of wedlock, it's a little late for that, isn't it? And even though casual sex isn't my thing, I think it's better than rushing into an incompatible committed relationship or marriage.
I don't view FWB as necessarily casual sex - it is definitely a step beyond ONS or booty calls. Someone said you value companionship more than sex as you get older. I think you have sex AND a certain level of companionship since you go out with friends, shop together, etc. Don't beat yourself up too much.
So, two years is a fair length of time...do you want to have a discussion with her? At some point, most FWBs fade when you or your partner get into an exclusive relationship, and you may even revisit if in the future you're both single at the same time. I guess I'm saying to just look at what you have and think about what you really want...and go for it!
I've been dating a woman(both on our mid 40's) for 2 yrs. When I really sit back and look at our relationship, it is FWB. We will go out drinking with friends, go shopping together(grocery, etc) when we don't have our kids home from college. We go to concerts, weekend vacations, text, call, talk, etc. But we don't love each other, never have said it anyway, don't live together, don't even spend the night together.
I always thought I'd get married after my divorce, married 18+yrs. But really, is this situation not better than marriage?
I do still feel the urge to be married. Might have to do with religion, what I'm doing is sin.(sex out of wedlock)
Anyone else been in this situation?
I wouldn't worry about the sin aspect. I'm sure you commit other non-sexual sins every day, so getting married again won't make you a saint. However, you've been seeing each other two years and you say there's no love there, so if love is what you're looking for, this arrangement doesn't sound ideal.
It is for me since I am not ready for LT as yet. Too many things I want to do and places I want to see. (25 yr old).
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