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I have recently found myself in a situation, I have a best friend for over a year now which we also dated secretly for 9months, we are not together anymore but I still have feelings for her.. We both are looking to move out and she suggested to move in together, I'm afraid this could be a bad idea or it could be a good idea so I need help on my decision.. We spend a lot of time with each other as it is..
IMO, it's a bad idea. It will limit your dating opportunites at a time when you should be focused on moving on. Even if you were to get back together as bf/gf, it would put too much pressure on any developing relationship. Saying no will probably increase your self-respect and also her opinion of you, if that matters.
I have recently found myself in a situation, I have a best friend for over a year now which we also dated secretly for 9months, we are not together anymore but I still have feelings for her.. We both are looking to move out and she suggested to move in together, I'm afraid this could be a bad idea or it could be a good idea so I need help on my decision.. We spend a lot of time with each other as it is..
I have recently found myself in a situation, I have a best friend for over a year now which we also dated secretly for 9months, we are not together anymore but I still have feelings for her.. We both are looking to move out and she suggested to move in together, I'm afraid this could be a bad idea or it could be a good idea so I need help on my decision.. We spend a lot of time with each other as it is..
Any suggestions?
I think you should explain why you needed to date this person "secretly." That seems like a big red flag, but I am not sure just what kind of big red flag.
No secretly dating because we are two girls, she has never been with a girl before me and has had several boyfriends. She is back to kissing other boy I think I was just an experiment that carried on longer than it should.. We are still really good friends and there is defiantly no chance in us rekindling anything.. I would like to move in with her but just afraid I will find it too hard if she brings boys home...
Stop hoping that something will happen between you. You said so yourself that your secret relationship was most likely her experimenting and that there's no chance in rekindling anything.
And you still want to live with her but will find it hard if she brings home guys? COME ON.
Why are you doing this to yourself? Stop trying to convince yourself that this will be a good idea when you yourself acknowledge indirectly that this wouldn't work.
You already KNOW it's a bad idea or you wouldn't have asked the question here.
Listen to your instincts.
+1 Bolded.
Also, secretly dating? C'mon. thats garbage. And for 9 months!
Don't be this woman's toy to use and manipulate for when she wants it.
This screams of unhealthy for you. Best friends don't do these things to each other. It's 2013, not 1950. This 'friend' is much kore concerned with her image than your feelings.
Living with her probably has disaster written all over it.
By month 3 or 4 she either should have come out, or realized her experimentation needs to end. And yet she strung you along for 9 total months.
No secretly dating because we are two girls, she has never been with a girl before me and has had several boyfriends. She is back to kissing other boy I think I was just an experiment that carried on longer than it should.. We are still really good friends and there is defiantly no chance in us rekindling anything.. I would like to move in with her but just afraid I will find it too hard if she brings boys home...
You answered your own question right there.
Bad idea.
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