With so many people losing jobs and a weak economy, a woman really asked me this question???? lol (loving, husband)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've never actually heard a woman say that, although I have heard variations on it -- such as "Let me set you up on a blind date with my cousin Mike. He's in his early 30s, he's an accountant, he plays tennis, and he owns a home."
I also think most women view homeownership as stability rather than status. If a woman is thinking she's ready to settle down (whether marriage or just long term partnership), a man who has bought a house is a good emotional risk to take. The act of taking on a mortgage indicates willingness to be involved in a long term commitment. There's less flight risk. And an indication that a man probably manages his finances responsibly.
(Yes, I know there's always exceptions. But in a world where people can decide to only date blondes; women who weigh less than 120#; men who are at least 6 feet tall; women who wear a certain bra size, etc . . . nothing wrong with a woman using generalized criteria like homeownership to screen and select dates.)
I agree with this analysis too. It is used to screen a potential mate. It makes it seem like they're not only financially stable but emotionally stable. People look less stable when they're over 30 and have not bought a home. But at the same time it's also a cultural thing that deeply affects Middle America more than anywhere. In NYC or LA the thought of owning a nice home is like the thought of owning a yacht for everyone else. It seems pretty unattainable unless you're financially set. So the women who aren't gold diggers are more searching for a guy without roommates and a decent apartment in a safe neighborhood. For a girl who grew up in the burbs or the country, you could have the hottest bachelor pad in town it won't matter to them. They want to see that master planned community in a white flight neighborhood, lol. That is the dream.
I mean the delusion of the American dream still lives on in the mindset of the younger generation even though the economic situation makes that less a viable dream for many. They have not caught up with that notion and think there is something emotionally, financially or mentally unstable with a man who hasn't bought a home already.
I agree with this analysis too. It is used to screen a potential mate. It makes it seem like they're not only financially stable but emotionally stable. People look less stable when they're over 30 and have not bought a home. But at the same time it's also a cultural thing that deeply affects Middle America more than anywhere. In NYC or LA the thought of owning a nice home is like the thought of owning a yacht for everyone else. It seems pretty unattainable unless you're financially set. So the women who aren't gold diggers are more searching for a guy without roommates and a decent apartment in a safe neighborhood. For a girl who grew up in the burbs or the country, you could have the hottest bachelor pad in town it won't matter to them. They want to see that master planned community in a white flight neighborhood, lol. That is the dream.
I mean the delusion of the American dream still lives on in the mindset of the younger generation even though the economic situation makes that less a viable dream for many. They have not caught up with that notion and think there is something emotionally, financially or mentally unstable with a man who hasn't bought a home already.
Yes I will admit being in non-profit for so many years meant I was not financially stable. I always told people you can't have a mortage and working in non-profit
Yes I will admit being in non-profit for so many years meant I was not financially stable. I always told people you can't have a mortage and working in non-profit
The first question is, "why are you in a non-profit?" LOL.
I know I am not in a non profit but in a field that offers a service that may seem like it might as well be not for profit. It's strange because I make a good decent living but because I do not choose to live in a house yet, my family as well as my wife's family think it's a little strange that we're almost 30 and have no home. Yet, her sisters are stuck with kids, a house payment and all the other expenses of family life. They live that "life is tough, but I wouldn't trade it for the world" type of life. They think we're being "selfish" for not giving up our lives for a child and settling down in a home and building roots. We think they're strange for doing all that to maintain the "dream" and they think we're strange for being so "bohemian". LOL.
The house thing in America is almost like a dividing line between different outlooks.
Yes I will admit being in non-profit for so many years meant I was not financially stable. I always told people you can't have a mortage and working in non-profit
Yes you can. My friend has worked in non-profit for 7 years and she's financially secure and has a townhouse in a nice part of town.
Maybe some non-profits are less stable than others just as some businesses are more stable than others. But I wouldn't presume that someone working for a non-profit is financially insecure.
Yes you can. My friend has worked in non-profit for 7 years and she's financially secure and has a townhouse in a nice part of town.
Maybe some non-profits are less stable than others just as some businesses are more stable than others. But I wouldn't presume that someone working for a non-profit is financially insecure.
While I would kill to live in a nice townhome to some people that isn't even enough. It's a home in a master planned community or nice area in town that will only suffice.
While I would kill to live in a nice townhome to some people that isn't even enough. It's a home in a master planned community or nice area in town that will only suffice.
Then why don't you seek out women who don't want that?
I think settling down in a planned community full of houses would be the worst possible thing EVER. Now, out in the middle of nowhere? Awesome! In a studio loft in the city? Even better! But you couldn't pay me enough to move to the boring suburbs. Blech.
Then why don't you seek out women who don't want that?
I think settling down in a planned community full of houses would be the worst possible thing EVER. Now, out in the middle of nowhere? Awesome! In a studio loft in the city? Even better! But you couldn't pay me enough to move to the boring suburbs. Blech.
I am not saying I am looking for women like that, I am just saying they're out there in droves. They grew up in the burbs, love the burb life and think burb life is the epitome of the American dream.
Yes that life is hell. I grew up in the burbs too and it was too much to take. I would prefer either a home out in a small secluded town in CA next to the beach away from it all AND a cool loft/condo/penthouse/townhome in the middle of the big city.
I am not saying I am looking for women like that, I am just saying they're out there in droves. They grew up in the burbs, love the burb life and think burb life is the epitome of the American dream.
Yes that life is hell. I grew up in the burbs too and it was too much to take. I would prefer either a home out in a small secluded town in CA next to the beach away from it all AND a cool loft/condo/penthouse/townhome in the middle of the big city.
I grew up in a small secluded town in CA next to the beach It's not much better than the burbs to be honest.
I guess I just haven't met too many women like that because that's definitely not something that the women I know talk about or even desire. Many of them want to travel, or move around, live in the country or in the middle of a city. I don't think I've heard a woman my age (I'll be 30 in a few months) talk about wanting to move to the burbs. Times are a changin
I keep seeing stuff on HGTV and in the real estate section of various newspapers about how a significant number of younger homebuyers want a more urban, walkable environment, whether it's something in the urban core, or new urbanism.
Of the single women I know, about half want to live in an urban environment, and the other half are divided between the 'old suburbs (closer in, smaller houses), and the master planned communities of the exurbs.
I'm sure there are plenty of single women out there who want nothing more than a McMansion on the far edges of town, but there's also plenty of who into the tiny house movement, sustainability, etc.
times are changing and many women are moving away from that traditional mindset their parents had about living in a house with some land and commuting several miles into town for work.
My wife grew up in a very southern traditionalist family where if you weren't in a house with some land out in the country or in a white flight neighborhood by 25 then you were wasting your time.
To actually live in the city in a nice townhome or apartment like they do in the movies was seen as "rebelling". The true spirit according to them was living a country life and having a pick up that used more for recreational driving than actually for it's intended purpose.
So there are a lot of girls like that but they're not in the majority and my wife was one of those "rebelling".
I think it's split three ways with a little more than half wanting to live the city life in a nice walkable area, another third wishing to live in the country and the last in the burbs in some nice master planned community with the white tahoe and the limestone house.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It's not much better than the burbs to be honest. 
