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So I was seeing this guy off and on for 8 months. He was erratic, loud and mercurial, but also interesting and a lot of fun. Ultimately, he was not compatible with my personality, and it would have to be me doing all the changing.
So I told him we were done for the final time about a month or 6 weeks ago. I just couldn't do it any more. Since then I have been seeing someone who is much more compatible with me, he is quiet and reasonable. He lives kind of far away though, and we are both busy, so can only get together about every week or two. It feels like a real relationship, we talk or skype every night, and I'm not pushing it at all.
But today I called my ex guyfriend just to catch up on his news. It was probably wrong, but I do still care about him. I did not say "let's get back together" or anything like that. It just feels wrong that he is "somebody that I used to know" like the Gotye song.
Is it a bad idea to do this? He seemed very awkward and strained on the phone, but neither of us let the conversation get out of hand. I don't want to 'lead him on' or whatever. I do care, though.
I don't know the protocol here. Are you supposed to just cut somebody out of your life? I care about him, and I care about his kids, and his business, which I was helping out with. I can't be with him, romantically, he's just not right for me. He's a really good man though and I care.
Which means don't TEXT HIM, DON'T CALL, AND DON'T SEE HIM.
It's better this way and will help you completely move on. As I guy I will not deal with any woman who still talks to her ex's because that is a red flag for me. Why should I have to deal with any of your ex's?
Think about it in that perspective too since you are single and ready to mingle.
It's probably best to let it go. You can't "uncall" him but don't make a habit of this. Just let him move on with his life and you move on with yours. Don't let it grow complicated when it can be simple.
I don't know the protocol here. Are you supposed to just cut somebody out of your life? I care about him, and I care about his kids, and his business, which I was helping out with. I can't be with him, romantically, he's just not right for me. He's a really good man though and I care.
The way I look at it, you didn't care enough to want to stay in a relationship with him. You can care about someone by letting them go and giving them the space to move on with their life without you.
I am not a believer that you need to stay in contact with everyone you've ever known or ever dated. I don't see the need. My ex-husband pops up every few months to say hello and we exchange pleasantries and that's it. I wouldn't call us friends. We were together for 13 years and our relationship served a purpose in a particular time of life, but that part is over with. I have moved on and it really doesn't serve any purpose to have him in my life now.
So I told him we were done for the final time about a month or 6 weeks ago. I just couldn't do it any more. Since then I have been seeing someone who is much more compatible with me, he is quiet and reasonable. He lives kind of far away though, and we are both busy, so can only get together about every week or two. It feels like a real relationship, we talk or skype every night, and I'm not pushing it at all.
First bolded part -- Meaning there was at least one other time when you told him you were done, but later got back together? From his POV, this call was likely you sniffing around his door considering the possibility of getting back together. Afterall, if you weren't interested, you would not have called.
Second bolded part -- It's interesting that you talk about your new relationship only with a though. And in the same paragraph talking about breaking up with the first guy. So it at least sounds like you're not really all into ths new relationship due to distance and might not be opposed to getting back with the first guy.
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