Am I being selfish with my needs or perhaps wasting my time? (dates, boyfriend)

[Spark500]

I feel mean posting this online but I have no other option as far as openly talking about my thoughts and feelings. I am 25 and have been with my boyfriend who is 28 for almost 4 years. I work as a receptionist and he is an occupational therapist for the nhs. I am mixed race african and he is asian. I have been living on my own since the age of 18 and throughout our 4 year relationship we have always met on weekends. In the beginning we would meet up on saturday evenings for dinner dates and gradually over time he began to stay over at mine. Now we only meet up during the day at weekends and hang out at his house. He lives with his mum and younger brother. I get on really well with his family and I am grateful that they have been very accepting of me and we all enjoy nice meals together BUT it's come to a point now where I feel I want more out of this relationship. I'm not asking for a wedding ring or to start having children. I simply just want more intimacy because I am getting very lonely when I shouldn't be. I have mentioned to him that I would like to see more of him during the week but he explained it would be impossible since he trains jiu jitsu on tuesdays and thursdays after work, and judo after work on mondays, wednesdays and fridays. He tried saying to me "sorry that I happened to be dedicated to a sport before meeting you" but I told him he had only started doing judo a year ago!!! Anyway I told him I understood and that I will try to be more accepting of his demanding lifestyle (even taking up netball after work in an attempt to deal with my loneliness) but to be honest I wish he could be more understanding himself of my own needs since I'm only asking for more alone time together and intimacy Sex is no longer existent right now...We would usually be intimate at my place or on holidays away but for the past six months he hasn't been staying over. I have asked him numerous times why and he says things like he gets a bad back from my single bed, he doesn't like waking up tired, and unbelievably that his mum's uncomfortable with it!... The most recent thing he said about it when I last asked him was that he doesn't want to have to do it knowing my flat mates are next door in ear shot. I've had the thoughts of is there someone else but in my heart I believe that's not the case. I question his sexuality sometimes since this obsession with grappling is a bit ott in all fairness but until he tells me how am I to know! It's hard to know what I should do about this!!! Wait a few more years and see what happens? Clearly he's a mummy's boy and I don't expect to be chosen over her at all. I also don't expect him to move out and move in with me because I know that would break his mum's heart. She suffers from depression and has been on medication for years. I also don't expect to be chosen over his training either, but what else can I say to him to express how I feel?? I really want to make this relationship work.

[lilyflower3191981]

Boyfriend of four years still lives at home and I am starting to feel frustrated

[PJSaturn]

Duplicate thread.