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i think there are certain intimacies that shouldnt get shared....age/maturity may have a lot to do with this question
i've never talked about exes- and most relationships dont end on a high note, it would be easy to divulge ifo- ,,you gotta be careful-karma has a way of biting you in the arse
also, never in the workplace with fellow co-workers,,,no such things as secrets,. it will always get back to that person..and you will look like a douche
if a person is continously talking about exes, how "they" were always the problem...it makes themselves look like the guilty party
Men know what other men's intentions are. I am curious how much do men talk about their ex girlfriends to other men. I know it depends how often the friends see each other and how close they are. If they are casual friends who rarely spend time together (once a year maybe), how often do ex girlfriends tend to come up in conversation when they usually like to talk about golf or something? And does it usually go deeper than "we broke up" when discussing an ex?
As a man, it is my experience and observation that for men o-v-e-r is not a word they have difficulty with. Men will talk about difficulties in a current relationship, or the difficulty of terminating a current one; but most spend zero time on a defunct relationship after that. Very unusual in my experience.
Why bother?
I have watched female acquaintances go bonkers after the passage of more than a year or more when they ask the friend of a former spouse or boyfriend if the guy mentions her....and the answer, "No, never." And it's true.
i think there are certain intimacies that shouldnt get shared....age/maturity may have a lot to do with this question
i've never talked about exes- and most relationships dont end on a high note, it would be easy to divulge ifo- ,,you gotta be careful-karma has a way of biting you in the arse....
Amen to that.
It's too bad you were not around to advise a female friend (thirteen years) of mine on this in the past two months. She went waaaaaaaaaaaay over the line on this, is now and permanent ex-friend. And while I could be superficially friendly with her in a group, I will never respect her again and would never have a personal relationship with her.
My husband and I both talk about our ex from time to time, it depends on what we are talking about and if a mention of them is appropriate for the conversation. No big deal, part of our past and no one gets bent out of shape about any of it. It is a simple conversation, nothing more so I don't see the issue.
What Checkered said. 1. You sound like a wuss. 2. Why bother, ITs over and done, onward and upward. That's why I explained to my wife last night, once a girl broke it off, I never thought of going back and once I closed that door, any attempt by her to reopen it, would be met with rejection, unless there was some sex involved. But then it was just for the sex.
Working in all male environments, usually things were busy. Sometimes, like when I was covering a night shift (the worst for this), an LAT (out of 50 guys maybe eight would pull this) would come into my office and it would get awkward. He'd start talking about his divorce and how lonely he was (the lonely hearts club seems to have a goodly number in airports). I'd smile awkwardly and try to find a way out of my office without being rude. They'd go on and on about how rough dating was. And then, if I was really unlucky, they'd bring me into their soliloquy, going on about how lucky my husband is and talking about who was cheating on who around the airport. Some things, I NEVER want to know about my coworkers and some people can't take a polite hint. After trying to handle it delicately, I'd have to kick them out and word spread that I was a ***** (didn't stop them from lamenting to me). But seriously, I did actually have work to do and I'm not their therapist. And I have to take these burly guys seriously as professionals after this.
Sometimes, I'd see who was headed to my office and make a dash to the kitchen or off to the coffee shop or the washroom to avoid them altogether. If it were something important, they'd call over the radio.
Most men don't talk about women as much as the vice versa. But some men are worse than women. Oh much, much worse.
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