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In addition to the the unrealistic criteria , your attitude might be projecting a bit of negativity. It's hard to tell from an online forum but I seem to be picking that up. Make yourself happy, and forget about being with someone.. when you accomplish that you will find what your looking for.
I was a 40 year old bachelor (and quite happy with it) but after ending a relationship with a train wreck I found myself in a place I had never been before, I went with it, picked up the pieces and found myself married to a wonderful woman. Once I quite worrying about where I was headed things just fell into place.
Its kinda a contradiction to want someone who is educated and successful yet someone who is fiscally liberal. Most people who have worked hard to become educated and successful resent having hard earned money taken from them to put in some lay abouts stomach.
Its one thing to give someone a fighting chance to be born but after that people need to be self supporting. Not saying that there are not a very small segment that fall on lagitimate hard times but a gross majority of people on social programs are lay abouts.
Highlife, you ARE in jest? Children should suffer for their parent's struggles? My children would have probably died if I had had to get whatever job I could scrape up when they were wee and stuck them in child care. I was fortunate to get a job where I could afford care in my home when they were a year adjusted because day care was an unmitigated disaster - three days of it landed my daughter in the hospital for a week, on oxygen, with pneumonia and bronchiolitis. If she'd had to go into day care younger when she still struggled with an enlarged heart and hypertension, I am sure she would not be here today. I am damned grateful I was able to rely on assistance when I needed it, and glad my children did not have to suffer/possibly die because someone thought I should be working instead of "laying about." Other children should not suffer for their parents' struggles either, or have to be self-supporting before they can support their head.
An idea: You may want to look for a guy who is both socially-conservative (i.e., pro-life), but is also economically-liberal That's because it can potentially bridge the best of both worlds -- for instance, his ethical beliefs will tend to be more conventionally conservative, but for all intents and purposes he would be a genuine liberal, when it comes to financial matters.
Not sure which Christian religious denom. you are exactly atm, but there are several denoms. that seem come to mind for me, that would tend to be more like this...
I know many Catholic men who are pro life yet are Democrat. These guys are definitely out there.
OP, you sound as if you have some stuff to work on in your own life right now. It is Ok to want to be in a relationship and have standards, (yours are kinda high though) but maybe you should focus on the issues that you have mentioned and on raising your kids right now and not worry about your love life. Take some time for yourself and the relationship aspect will fall into place.
You have already made great strides in moving and getting a job that you like and that is really good. Now, take care of those other things you mentioned and maybe find some groups to socialize with. Don't focus on the fact that you are 'single', focus on the positives that you have right now. I know it's hard, (I am single too) but oftentimes, it will happen when you stop letting it be a constant negative thought in your head. Good luck!
mlj, I am not actually ready to get out there. You are right. I just wonder if someone I could respect and be happy with IS out there. I don't actually dwell on singleness - am too busy being a mother, you know? It's just discouraging to think that the right guy may not be out there. Or if he is, he isn't on the dating sites (which I do not obsess over but do check into every few months. It's kinda like my apparently impossible housing requirements which do not seem like so much to me but apparently are. lol I only look at the housing listings every 2-3 months too.)
I don't need a guy who is a carbon copy of me. But I REALLY want to meet a genuine Christian who is also a democrat (whether he supports the entire party platform or not), who is also educated, successful (not rich necessarily), at least my height, not far from my age, any kids he has are adults, he would like having little ones around again...this man does not exist, does he? I have looked on match.com, OKCupid, and eharmony. Am I asking for too much? Am feeling discouraged and the guys I do see on there, just can't muster much interest in.
There are Christian Democrats but unfortunately more are Republicans than Democrats. Many are independent than Democrat though. With the educated and successful part, are you the same way? if so not an issue but if you aren't then yes that is picky. How tall are you? if you are 5'4 or under then it is reasonable but the taller you go then the harder it becomes. I am 5'7 and let me tell you most of the men I run across are my height or even shorter. There are guys who are open to having kids around so not an issue depending on the father of them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MobiusStrip
Let's see. I suffer from postpartum post-traumatic stress disorder and am only now seeking help. That's pretty hot, isn't it?
The kids! What guy doesn't want four year old twins?
I'm overweight. I think all guys want this, yes?
See? I have just gotten started and already you can see what a catch I am.
No, a woman with postpartum is not a choice most men would want, I would wait until this resolves itself. As for 4 year old twins depends on the man. Generally speaking I would assume most men with kids would be more understanding. Overweight depends on how overweight. If you are obese then it becomes harder.
Sure you can succeed but let me put it in perspective. I am educated, in shape, religious, never married and childless and financially stable. I had trouble finding men who were the same as me or even close and that was after dropping some requirements. I found a man who was most of what I wanted but he is chubby and short and not educated.
Its kinda a contradiction to want someone who is educated and successful yet someone who is fiscally liberal. Most people who have worked hard to become educated and successful resent having hard earned money taken from them to put in some lay abouts stomach.
Its one thing to give someone a fighting chance to be born but after that people need to be self supporting. Not saying that there are not a very small segment that fall on lagitimate hard times but a gross majority of people on social programs are lay abouts.
If they can help other people who are genuinely suffering and in need, are fiscally-liberal policies really so bad though? For me personally, it's not so much at all about "having [my] hard earned money taken from [me]", and much more about a "love your neighbor as yourself" policy, to help those who are genuinely in need, such as individuals who are disabled, elderly, below the poverty line financially, etc., etc. As a result, for myself, I wholeheartedly support and am happy to contribute whatever I can of my fair share to these kinds of programs (i.e., Social Security and similar programs) from my paycheck As far as persons who may be or are abusing or defrauding the system, the easy solution would be to more strictly and rigidly enforce policies designed to prevent waste, fraud, and abuse of the system
Highlife, you ARE in jest? Children should suffer for their parent's struggles? My children would have probably died if I had had to get whatever job I could scrape up when they were wee and stuck them in child care. I was fortunate to get a job where I could afford care in my home when they were a year adjusted because day care was an unmitigated disaster - three days of it landed my daughter in the hospital for a week, on oxygen, with pneumonia and bronchiolitis. If she'd had to go into day care younger when she still struggled with an enlarged heart and hypertension, I am sure she would not be here today. I am damned grateful I was able to rely on assistance when I needed it, and glad my children did not have to suffer/possibly die because someone thought I should be working instead of "laying about." Other children should not suffer for their parents' struggles either, or have to be self-supporting before they can support their head.
I think there should be programs for thoes truely in need but the problem is so many social programs are grossly abused (by both thoes on the programs and thoes that work in fields that are funded by such programs). I think there perhaps needs to be more regulation on certian services like child care and the ceiling on their fees, watching kids is not rocket science no matter how much a day care provider tries to justify their rates.
I dont like seeing the government take tax payer money to pay over inflated egos of child care and social workers. If someone wants to make big money perhaps they should get over their aversion to high math. All the graft boils down to lazyness, lay abouts collecting benifits, social workers, elementary school teachers, and day cares who hate math but want to get paid like an engineer or a doctor.
I also think we as a socity have created an unnatural maturation period for "kids", perhaps as soon as kids hit high school they should be responsible for themselves and not considered "minors".
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That's because it can potentially bridge the best of both worlds -- for instance, his ethical beliefs will tend to be more conventionally conservative, but for all intents and purposes he would be a genuine liberal, when it comes to financial matters.
