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Well, recently "Jayce" came back from a deployment and we hang out with a mutual group of friends. I've known of him for a while but never really began being around him until the beginning of May. On the fourth of July, the entire group of friends went out; after leaving our first hang out, we all just got into whatever car because we were supposed to end up at the same place. in his car, it was just him and me. After plans for the rest of the night fell through, I ended up going back to his place and we had sex. I knew that he had a off and on girlfriend; however, i didnt know that they had gotten engaged (she doesn't live here). Well, after a week of continuous hooking up, I found out from a mutual friend. The problem now is that I am possibly pregnant and I dont know how to tell him because his fiancee is supposed to be moving here in a month and I know this could cause problems. On top of that, we have both developed feelings which only makes the situation that much harder. Its not the normal "hook up" situation. We spend time together, cuddle, spend the night with one another, ect. I know I should have cut it off but I didnt so now im in a tough spot and need some help! Please keep all judgmental comments to yourself!
Well, what do you want to do about it? You have a handful of options. First, find out if you are.
If you are, tell the guy.
More than likely you're going to be a single parent. He might want to break things off with you, but he will still need to provide child support. Whoopee.
You have two other viable options, of course. You figure them out. Neither involve public drama.
Next time carry condoms or use reliable birth control.
First, go get a pregnancy test. This morning. You need to know what you're dealing with.
Then, you need to decide what it is you want to do about the pregnancy (if it's real) assuming it it's not going to be a storybook ending where he dumps his fiance and is the man of your dreams. Because let's be real, the kind of man who gets engaged to one girl and then turns around and bangs another one as soon as she's out of town isn't a prince and isn't likely to make a lasting commitment to anyone. You can tell yourself he whispers sweet nothings to you when he sleeps over, but don't think for a second he doesn't do the same with the other women he's banging, and don't forget, he asked her to marry him, not you.
I'm just not impressed with the kind of guy who takes the steps to get engaged, then starts up an affair and continues it, not even just a one night dumb mistake, but the active decision to continue cheating. Ask yourself if this is really the kind of man you want as a partner, because he will cheat on you (if he isn't already), just like he cheated with you.
If you plan to go through with the pregnancy, you need to get child support for the child's sake. Be prepared for much lasting drama with his fiancee over this. Personally, I think he deserves to be dumped by both of you, but for some reason, some types of women love to fight over a loser like this, so I predict you will both be in for a lot of stress for a long time. Heck, she's probably pregnant too, or will be shortly. Good luck.
As soon as OP said "sticky" situation I knew sex was involved.
Sorry, OP, to make light of your situation. I am capable of being serious, too. My best advice is you tell this guy about the baby. Before you do, make sure you actually ARE pregnant. Maybe you have already verified this, but based on the way your post is worded it seems you are still uncertain. Also, don't worry about his situation with his fiance. He made the decision to sleep with you while engaged to another woman. Don't let him cut you out of the picture (again, if you really are pregnant; if not, what you do is a little more negotiable) just because he has a fiance. He is still accountable for his actions and decisions. If he has a child coming into this world, he needs to be involved with its upbringing.
Well, recently "Jayce" came back from a deployment and we hang out with a mutual group of friends. I've known of him for a while but never really began being around him until the beginning of May. On the fourth of July, the entire group of friends went out; after leaving our first hang out, we all just got into whatever car because we were supposed to end up at the same place. in his car, it was just him and me. After plans for the rest of the night fell through, I ended up going back to his place and we had sex. I knew that he had a off and on girlfriend; however, i didnt know that they had gotten engaged (she doesn't live here). Well, after a week of continuous hooking up, I found out from a mutual friend. The problem now is that I am possibly pregnant and I dont know how to tell him because his fiancee is supposed to be moving here in a month and I know this could cause problems. On top of that, we have both developed feelings which only makes the situation that much harder. Its not the normal "hook up" situation. We spend time together, cuddle, spend the night with one another, ect. I know I should have cut it off but I didnt so now im in a tough spot and need some help! Please keep all judgmental comments to yourself!
I wouldn't tell him anything as long as it's a "possibility" you are pregnant. All it takes is $7 or so and a nearby CVS or Walgreen's to tell you for sure...THEN you can tell him. I don't understand why you wouldn't have confirmed this already?
Why do you think you might be pregnant? If you have missed a period, he is probably not the father. The timing is off, unless you have an irregular cycle.
Quote:
not going to be a storybook ending where he dumps his fiance and is the man of your dreams. Because let's be real, the kind of man who gets engaged to one girl and then turns around and bangs another one as soon as she's out of town isn't a prince and isn't likely to make a lasting commitment to anyone.
He*llz yes.
Also, put some condoms in your purse right now, in every purse if you have more than one. And some in the glove box of your car, in your desk or locker at work, everywhere you can think of. Never leave home without them.
Well, recently "Jayce" came back from a deployment and we hang out with a mutual group of friends. I've known of him for a while but never really began being around him until the beginning of May. On the fourth of July, the entire group of friends went out; after leaving our first hang out, we all just got into whatever car because we were supposed to end up at the same place. in his car, it was just him and me. After plans for the rest of the night fell through, I ended up going back to his place and we had sex. I knew that he had a off and on girlfriend; however, i didnt know that they had gotten engaged (she doesn't live here). Well, after a week of continuous hooking up, I found out from a mutual friend. The problem now is that I am possibly pregnant and I dont know how to tell him because his fiancee is supposed to be moving here in a month and I know this could cause problems. On top of that, we have both developed feelings which only makes the situation that much harder. Its not the normal "hook up" situation. We spend time together, cuddle, spend the night with one another, ect. I know I should have cut it off but I didnt so now im in a tough spot and need some help! Please keep all judgmental comments to yourself!
If/when you're sure you're pregnant, tell him. He shared 50% of the responsibility in causing this situation. He's an adult, he knew what he was doing.
So, he's being all cuddly and lovey-dovey with you, not knowing that you know he's engaged? Nail him with the truth. And if his fiancee finds out, so much the better for her. She deserves to know what kind of guy she's engaged to. This is what engagements are for; to find out if the person is worth marrying or not, to find out if there are any hidden aspects to the person's character.
If you were engaged to a cheater, wouldn't you prefer to find out before the wedding, rather than after?
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