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Here's a scenario for all of you out there. I'm in a related situation now but I was wondering what you would do if you were the one involved.
Let's say you've been talking to a girl every day for almost 2 months and knew when you very first met her that she was going to be leaving/moving by the end of the summer. Despite this fact, you still decide to hang out and get to know each other. You start going on dates every week and getting closer to one another. You are introduced to her friends and she is introduced to your friends and things escalate romantically over time. You would push for a relationship with her if she was staying put because you really like her (and as far as you can tell, she really likes you) but she has expressed doubts about LDR working out and therefore you don't push it. She has said that you would be dating if she wasn't moving but she is, so it's irrelevant. You're content with staying in touch because honestly, you're not sure where you'll be in 6 months. You could very well be moving to the same city she's moving to and don't want to be total strangers if that ever did happen.
Before you know it, the summer is almost over, and realization sets in that she'll be leaving in 2 weeks. You knew this all along, so it really comes as no surprise to you since you've been bracing for it, but it hits her a lot harder. She stops initiating all forms of communication after a date night with you. When you ask her after a few days of not talking if things are off between you she pretends everything is fine. Eventually you get her to tell you that she had fun hanging out but is leaving in 2 weeks so she thinks it's best if you stopped seeing each other now. You pretty much assumed her silence was due to the move so you tell her you had a great time getting to know her, wish her well, and tell her you'd like to remain friends, if possible. She tells you that she's sorry and has been thinking about you a lot but it is making it hard for her. She tells you that she misses you and assures you that it was nothing you did wrong. This is the last communication you've had.
If you couldn't already tell, I'm the guy in this situation. I'm only a year removed from college so I have a lot to learn and it's looking as though I'm not going to be seeing her any longer. But I'm interested in what you all have to say to this question: Would you still hang out with a person you liked/have feelings for if you were leaving soon?
I'm asking because I talked to one of my good college friends (who is a girl) about it and she told me that she would have no problems seeing a person that she liked up/had feelings for up until to the moment when she was leaving. I can honestly see both sides of the coin.
You are describing a summer fling.
I have never had one, but they happen. Enjoy it for what it was.
She is asking for space now. I would give it to her. You knew all along there was an expiration date.
Contact her in a month or so and follow up to see how things are, and just be a friend. If she wants a friendship, she will respond.
Would I still spend time with her? I would, if she would want that. But she said otherwise...
Some people would just enjoy the other person as long as they could even knowing it was going to end, but personally I'd rather not get involved in the first place. She's just trying to get over you and spare herself further disappointment and sadness. I think you should respect that and leave her alone.
My guess is that she's struggling with the fact that the whole thing has to end, and this is her way of dealing with it.
Why not contact her after she's had time to settle into her new place, and if you truly think you may be moving to her town, tell her that. See what she says. (If it's true, why didn't you tell her that before?)
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 07-26-2013 at 04:27 PM..
My guess is that she's struggling with the fact that the whole thing has to end, and this is her way of dealing with it.
Why not contact her after she's had time to settle into her new place, and if you truly think you may be moving to her town, tell you that. See what she says. (If it's true, why didn't you tell her that before?)
Well I'm working full time right now in a good paying job for a kid one year removed from college but am looking to get out on my own and move to a bigger city, different state with more opportunities. The city she moved to is a major east coast city (only 3-4 hours from me now) and will be one that I'll definitely try to find a job in when the time comes. So it's not for certain but it's not some far fetched idea. If I get some interviews out there, I'll definitely let her know I'm in town and we can grab some drinks and catch up.
Well I'm working full time right now in a good paying job for a kid one year removed from college but am looking to get out on my own and move to a bigger city, different state with more opportunities. The city she moved to is a major east coast city (only 3-4 hours from me now) and will be one that I'll definitely try to find a job in when the time comes. So it's not for certain but it's not some far fetched idea. If I get some interviews out there, I'll definitely let her know I'm in town and we can grab some drinks and catch up.
If you guys liked each other so much, is there a reason why you never said your career might take you to her new city in the future?
Surely this is the same guy as in the previous thread on the same topic?
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