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A guy messaged me recently on the dating web site, and I was really busy so I gave out my number way sooner than I normally would have. Usually, I spend more time vetting my dates.
He called within a couple hours of receiving my phone number and then started with the texting. Nothing alarming except for the familiarity and neediness in his messages - and we haven't even met. Before the red flags went off, I had said a coffee date was possible over the weekend and told him when i was free. But now I've gotten uneasy.
What's the best way to shut this down without poking the crazy bear?
I was going to pull down my profile anyway, so i'm thinking do I just pull it and tell him i'm too busy to date right now? I unexpectedly started talking to two other guys who are nice and sane - do I just tell them I had an uncomfortable experience and am taking down my profile for the time being, but still want to chat with them?
Any ideas how to handle this? The guy hasn't done anything that's a HUGE red flag, but the little red flags are piling up rapidly. He asked why i hadn't responded to one of his early texts when i didn't respond (during the workday) within 30 minutes or so. He talks about how excited he is to meet me. He uses grandiose language and romantic endearments. We've been texting for about 48 hours. It's all little stuff, but recent experience has given me renewed faith in my gut instinct. I am uneasy - that's all I need to tell me it needs to be shut down. HOW I should go about it is the question.
1. What's the best way to shut this down without poking the crazy bear?
2. I was going to pull down my profile anyway, so i'm thinking do I just pull it and tell him i'm too busy to date right now? I unexpectedly started talking to two other guys who are nice and sane - do I just tell them I had an uncomfortable experience and am taking down my profile for the time being, but still want to chat with them?
1. Block his number
2. Just pull the profile and tell the other two guys what you suggested. Don't make any excuses to the "stalker" (for want of a better word) just cut him off. He'll go away.
So sorry you're having to deal with this! (I hope some of the guys who assume a girl isn't interested if she doesn't give our her number immediately will read this thread).
Block his number -- you may need to contact your carrier to do this.
Tell him your not interested. Have his number blocked if that doesn't work.
This. Don't just disappear, let him know you aren't interested and then make sure your address/workplace etc isn't traceable by your cell phone number.
2. Just pull the profile and tell the other two guys what you suggested. Don't make any excuses to the "stalker" (for want of a better word) just cut him off. He'll go away.
That will work. If you want to try a milder approach, my favorite is to say, 'This just doesn't feel right to me.'
It's far more hippy-dippy than I am IRL, but there is nothing the person can say to argue with it .
If it wouldn't be interpreted in the proper new-agey sense where you are (if it would be interpreted as 'you seem like a stalker', for example), you can make it more oovey-groovey. Tell him you had a spirtual vision during meditation and your Higher Power said he was not the right path for you.
Don't say that some human (e.g your astrologer) said it, because then he can argue your astrologer's skillset. But who's gonna argue with God and/or a crazy lady?
Just tell him you want to get married ASAP, within the next 6 months for sure, that your clock is ticking for kids and you are hoping to have as many as you can.
Then ask about his job, how much he makes, can he afford a big house because if you are going to be a SAHM you need a nice, new, big house.
If that doesn't work start talking about how those pesky STD's always seem to find YOU and your crotch is burning...you think you might have another one but no worries...it's probably an easy fix with a round of antibiotics.
Oh, and for the clincher...tell him you do not give BJ's!
Okay all kidding aside...be direct. Tell him you are not interested in pursuing anything further with him, then don't answer your phone if he calls. Remove your profile and just let the other 2 know that you took it down because of an uneasy situation but you are still interested in talking to them.
A guy messaged me recently on the dating web site, and I was really busy so I gave out my number way sooner than I normally would have. Usually, I spend more time vetting my dates.
He called within a couple hours of receiving my phone number and then started with the texting. Nothing alarming except for the familiarity and neediness in his messages - and we haven't even met. Before the red flags went off, I had said a coffee date was possible over the weekend and told him when i was free. But now I've gotten uneasy.
What's the best way to shut this down without poking the crazy bear?
I was going to pull down my profile anyway, so i'm thinking do I just pull it and tell him i'm too busy to date right now? I unexpectedly started talking to two other guys who are nice and sane - do I just tell them I had an uncomfortable experience and am taking down my profile for the time being, but still want to chat with them?
Any ideas how to handle this? The guy hasn't done anything that's a HUGE red flag, but the little red flags are piling up rapidly. He asked why i hadn't responded to one of his early texts when i didn't respond (during the workday) within 30 minutes or so. He talks about how excited he is to meet me. He uses grandiose language and romantic endearments. We've been texting for about 48 hours. It's all little stuff, but recent experience has given me renewed faith in my gut instinct. I am uneasy - that's all I need to tell me it needs to be shut down. HOW I should go about it is the question.
Any suggestions appreciated.
Check out this link, folks there gave a lot of good advice. Good luck and stay calm.
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