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I think some guys are more prone to think that if you wink at them or send them an email you are interested in sex, not a real relationship.
You are fortunate that you're actually in your 20s. I would give anything to go back in time and learn how to get over being an introvert.
I'm not too far off from your age (28) so though I'm younger I realize I don't have an inifinite amount of time either. Not as I felt I did when I was in my early-20s and wasting my life away. I'm just now realizing that I need to make changes to myself both inside and out to make myself a better partner/person and it will probably take a couple years to get through.
I'm not too far off from your age (28) so though I'm younger I realize I don't have an inifinite amount of time either. Not as I felt I did when I was in my early-20s and wasting my life away. I'm just now realizing that I need to make changes to myself both inside and out to make myself a better partner/person and it will probably take a couple years to get through.
I understand where you're coming from totally.
You still have far more time than I do. At least you have another 2 years to find the right guy, and then a year or so to date before getting married.
I'm not as fortunate. I will be 36 next year, and if I don't find a compatible guy for marriage soon, well...
I wouldn't do it. The men who are turned off by your age won't care that you look younger. To these guys the number means something, either because they want a family one day but not yet, or because they want the ego boost of telling people they are dating someone younger. I too looked much younger than my age, and in person young guys hit on me all the time never realizing my age....but online I still faced that dilemma. I remember once a guy in his 40's called me after chatting, and even though my age was in the box "36-40" he asked me on the phone my age again - I said 38, and he said "38? I didn't know you were that old. Listen, I'm going to be busy for the next couple weeks, but I'll call you"
I was mad and found hi nervey considering he was older than me, but truth is I was better off without that guy. One day you will look old, as will I, and I know I want to be with a man who will see my beauty even at 90. My bf now is 3 years younger and thinks he won the jackpot.
I'm baffled why the OP regards 40-year-old men as being unacceptably too old, as if they were from an altogether different generation. Hearsay suggests that a 35-year-old woman might receive messages from 60-year-old men occasionally, and indeed that would be uncouth and disappointing. But 40? Or is the OP actually seeking younger men?
As others have said, the online world differs from the "real world". If for no other reason than scientific curiosity, the OP should try being the first to initiate contact with men online, at least occasionally. It might result in some welcome surprises.
Stick to your guns. State the age range you are interested in. Also make sure you say you will not date any man who already has children. It's not that you are uninterested, that implies there's a chance and you'll consider someone with kids, it's just not your first choice. You want to say you will not date any man who already has kids. You have to be absolutely clear with your intentions. Don't lie about your age. Be patient. If you do not want the age of the men who are contacting you, then simply reject them. That's the nice thing about online dating. It breaks the ice. You don't have to look anyone in the eye and tell them no before meeting them. If someone answers you and you are interested, then use email and instant message (if possible) as a way to learn more about them before actually meeting them. If they are serious, they will do this by your terms. You are under NO obligation to date or continue a relationship with anyone you are not interested in.
I have never done this, but this is what I'd expect from someone if I were to try online dating. I'd want someone to be honest and clear.
Also keep in mind that no matter how clear you are online, there will be people who will try to contact you simply because you look cute on your picture and does not either take your description seriously, read your description, or has hopes that you will consider them despite your clearly written intentions.
I'm baffled why the OP regards 40-year-old men as being unacceptably too old, as if they were from an altogether different generation. Hearsay suggests that a 35-year-old woman might receive messages from 60-year-old men occasionally, and indeed that would be uncouth and disappointing. But 40? Or is the OP actually seeking younger men?
As others have said, the online world differs from the "real world". If for no other reason than scientific curiosity, the OP should try being the first to initiate contact with men online, at least occasionally. It might result in some welcome surprises.
I am 35 but I look extremely younger. 95% of the 40+ guys who send me winks and messages tend to look old and/or they have children from previous relationships. I did exchange numbers once, with a 40 year old (very young looking attractive guy) who seemed to be compatible, but I later found out that he was still living in his mom's home. Needless to say, I immediately lost all interest.
Honestly, I do not have an interest in dating guys who are younger than 30, because in my experience, they are not at the same maturity level and often are not established yet in their careers.
Stick to your guns. State the age range you are interested in. Also make sure you say you will not date any man who already has children. It's not that you are uninterested, that implies there's a chance and you'll consider someone with kids, it's just not your first choice. You want to say you will not date any man who already has kids. You have to be absolutely clear with your intentions. Don't lie about your age. Be patient. If you do not want the age of the men who are contacting you, then simply reject them. That's the nice thing about online dating. It breaks the ice. You don't have to look anyone in the eye and tell them no before meeting them. If someone answers you and you are interested, then use email and instant message (if possible) as a way to learn more about them before actually meeting them. If they are serious, they will do this by your terms. You are under NO obligation to date or continue a relationship with anyone you are not interested in.
I have never done this, but this is what I'd expect from someone if I were to try online dating. I'd want someone to be honest and clear.
Also keep in mind that no matter how clear you are online, there will be people who will try to contact you simply because you look cute on your picture and does not either take your description seriously, read your description, or has hopes that you will consider them despite your clearly written intentions.
Thanks for the advice. I do not plan on settling, but I'm always very courteous when responding.
I know it's wrong, but my predicament is very strange, since I look so young. I'm 35, but haven't really had any tangible dating or sexual experiences due to being an introvert during my prime years. I'm trying to come out of my shell. I simply want to date a man who is closer to my age, and not someone who looks very old, like the majority of guys (on the site) who are in their 40s.
You keep dwelling on that you "look so young". So what about your mental state then is it at 35 or is it at 25? So when did a 6 or 7 year difference start being such a problem? A lot of couples have a 6 to 7 or even 10 year difference. Since when did being 40 something make you ancient? Good gawd.......
I'm baffled why the OP regards 40-year-old men as being unacceptably too old, as if they were from an altogether different generation. Hearsay suggests that a 35-year-old woman might receive messages from 60-year-old men occasionally, and indeed that would be uncouth and disappointing. But 40? Or is the OP actually seeking younger men?
As others have said, the online world differs from the "real world". If for no other reason than scientific curiosity, the OP should try being the first to initiate contact with men online, at least occasionally. It might result in some welcome surprises.
Yeah. Geez ok so I am 46 for example and often get told I look mid to late 30's or at least 40. But I am still 46 no matter what I look like so imagine if I said "I only look 37 so I only want a woman who is 30 to 36". You can think and know that you look younger but your real birth date doesn't lie.
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I'm trying to come out of my shell. I simply want to date a man who is closer to my age, and not someone who looks very old, like the majority of guys (on the site) who are in their 40s.
