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I've been taking a vacation from romantic relationships. Well, to be honest, I swore them off forever after the break up from hell with a guy who should have been nearly a perfect match for me, but turned out instead to have a perfectly awful effect on my life.
I've had too many woman around my age actually tell me about their BF's or husbands, "Well, he's better than nothing." In my experience women who settle for "better than nothing" end up with "nothing could be worse."
For one thing, if your THAT desperate to have ANYONE around, there's probably some major emotional problems that you have that maybe you should look into getting help for. For another thing me personally, I'd rather keep myself company than be stuck with "just anybody, somebody!" Why would I even let just anybody into my house in the first place?
I have my friends and I have my animals and I'm pretty self sufficient, so it has not bothered me a bit living alone but not lonely these past few years. I wasn't interested in a romantic relationship with a guy. I had a couple of guy platonic friends and that was fine.
And then last weekend everything turned upside down.
I live in SW Colorado and I love to spend time in the San Juan Mountains out here. They're beautiful! You guys should come on out and visit and see them if you ever get the chance. I go up there as often as I can in my old 4wd truck, take the back roads and camp all by myself and have a good time.
Well, Friday I had to drive over to a nearby town and I was feeling stressed out by some stuff that's been going on, and as I was heading home, I made the impulsive decision to just turn off the highway onto a Forest Service Road and take the long way home on a back road that I'd never been on before. I didn't even have my maps with me.
But that was cool, I figured I'd just flag a person down who was driving down the road in the opposite direction and ask. Which actually worked better than having a map. People on the back roads in Colorado are always happy to help another mountain traveler out, and I met some really nice people that way.
So, I was driving along in a really spectacular area and I hadn't met another truck or jeep for two hours - pretty remote part of the mountains - and I'd stopped at a point where you had the choice of making a turn or continuing on the same road. I was trying to figure it out when I heard the sound of a motor. Yay! To the rescue, someone who would give me some directions. So, I flagged down the guy driving in a jeep as he came over the crest of the hill.
We started talking about how much we both loved it here and he was just the most pleasant, easy going man about my age. He told me that he comes up to the mountains all the time to do oil paintings of them, and I felt like I'd met a kindred spirit, there by the side of the road. After we talked for a while, we said goodbye - and I swear he looked disappointed, but I'm probably just imagining it because I'd felt so attracted to him.
I got in my car and I thought, "I should turn around and catch up with him and ask him for his phone number. If he's already taken, at least I gave it a shot." And then I thought, "This is stupid to chase after a complete stranger up here. He'll probably think I'm a stalker or nuts or something, and I've got on these grubby clothes and a bandanna in my hair and a man like that could have his pick of any woman in the room. I'll make a fool of myself."
So I drove off and I've been regretting it every since. I guess I'd like to figure out a way of running into him again, but hundreds of miles in a mountain range is not exactly like an enchanted evening across a crowded room. Then again, he was dressed for oil painting more than he was for taking a hike off into the wilderness, and there's so many splendid vista's along that road that he probably just pulls over to the side of the road and parks when he seed something he wants to paint and sets up fairly close by. Folks love to go up to the San Juans and try to capture their beauty with photography or painting. I've seen a couple of people with sketch pads set up that way, and this guy said he comes up to the San Juans all the time, so the odds may not be so bad as they first seem.
Plus, he's got to live close by here somewhere. His vehicle wasn't all packed up with stuff for a long distance trip and it wasn't a rental. This is the land of wide open spaces with only a couple of nearby towns, one of which is my own. It would be easy enough to show up at a couple of openings at local art galleries. I used to do that sort of thing all the time when I still lived in the city and I enjoy looking at the paintings, just as I enjoy driving along that stretch of road where I met him in the San Juans.
I really feel like I missed out on a chance that could have turned into something special. Should I go "treasure hunting" or should I go into therapy?
I got in my car and I thought, "I should turn around and catch up with him and ask him for his phone number. If he's already taken, at least I gave it a shot." And then I thought, "This is stupid to chase after a complete stranger up here. He'll probably think I'm a stalker or nuts or something, and I've got on these grubby clothes and a bandanna in my hair and a man like that could have his pick of any woman in the room. I'll make a fool of myself."
So I drove off and I've been regretting it every since. I guess I'd like to figure out a way of running into him again, but hundreds of miles in a mountain range is not exactly like an enchanted evening across a crowded room. Then again, he was dressed for oil painting more than he was for taking a hike off into the wilderness, and there's so many splendid vista's along that road that he probably just pulls over to the side of the road and parks when he seed something he wants to paint and sets up fairly close by. Folks love to go up to the San Juans and try to capture their beauty with photography or painting. I've seen a couple of people with sketch pads set up that way, and this guy said he comes up to the San Juans all the time, so the odds may not be so bad as they first seem.
Plus, he's got to live close by here somewhere. His vehicle wasn't all packed up with stuff for a long distance trip and it wasn't a rental. This is the land of wide open spaces with only a couple of nearby towns, one of which is my own. It would be easy enough to show up at a couple of openings at local art galleries. I used to do that sort of thing all the time when I still lived in the city and I enjoy looking at the paintings, just as I enjoy driving along that stretch of road where I met him in the San Juans.
I really feel like I missed out on a chance that could have turned into something special. Should I go "treasure hunting" or should I go into therapy?
You know where he hangs out, doing his painting, right? (General vicinity, that is.... very general) Did he say he exhibits his work? Swing by local galleries occasionally, or put your name on their mailing lists, so you get notified of new shows. (Did you get his name?) It's definitely worth following up on those what-might-have-been type situations. The one thing I never understand about incidents like that is--why don't the guys speak up? Sometimes they make it clear they're into you, but they can't take that final step to close the deal.
btw, I'm in Santa Fe, and the San Juans are indeed glorious! Wish I could get over there more often.
You know where he hangs out, doing his painting, right? (General vicinity, that is.... very general) Did he say he exhibits his work? Swing by local galleries occasionally, or put your name on their mailing lists, so you get notified of new shows. (Did you get his name?) It's definitely worth following up on those what-might-have-been type situations. The one thing I never understand about incidents like that is--why don't the guys speak up? Sometimes they make it clear they're into you, but they can't take that final step to close the deal.
btw, I'm in Santa Fe, and the San Juans are indeed glorious! Wish I could get over there more often.
Thanks for your reply to my late night musings of what might have been. I might as well drive up there this weekend again. I was sorry I didn't have my camera, and I planned to return with it to take pictures anyway. I'll still have a nice day in the mountains - nothing wrong with that. And perhaps he'll be out driving the roads wishing to encounter a San Juan Mountain rambler and he'll see me taking pictures by the side of the road and he'll stop to ask directions.
I have had encounters like you have too - always regretted not taking another step. You don't need therapy
Did you happen to get his name, even his first name? If you did you can try a google search - something like His Name Artist + Colorado and see if he has a website or is listed in a nearby gallery. Can't hurt. If not, just keep your eyes open when you do visit a local gallery and you just might run into his work.
I've been taking a vacation from romantic relationships. Well, to be honest, I swore them off forever after the break up from hell with a guy who should have been nearly a perfect match for me, but turned out instead to have a perfectly awful effect on my life.
I've had too many woman around my age actually tell me about their BF's or husbands, "Well, he's better than nothing." In my experience women who settle for "better than nothing" end up with "nothing could be worse."
For one thing, if your THAT desperate to have ANYONE around, there's probably some major emotional problems that you have that maybe you should look into getting help for. For another thing me personally, I'd rather keep myself company than be stuck with "just anybody, somebody!" Why would I even let just anybody into my house in the first place?
I have my friends and I have my animals and I'm pretty self sufficient, so it has not bothered me a bit living alone but not lonely these past few years. I wasn't interested in a romantic relationship with a guy. I had a couple of guy platonic friends and that was fine.
And then last weekend everything turned upside down.
I live in SW Colorado and I love to spend time in the San Juan Mountains out here. They're beautiful! You guys should come on out and visit and see them if you ever get the chance. I go up there as often as I can in my old 4wd truck, take the back roads and camp all by myself and have a good time.
Well, Friday I had to drive over to a nearby town and I was feeling stressed out by some stuff that's been going on, and as I was heading home, I made the impulsive decision to just turn off the highway onto a Forest Service Road and take the long way home on a back road that I'd never been on before. I didn't even have my maps with me.
But that was cool, I figured I'd just flag a person down who was driving down the road in the opposite direction and ask. Which actually worked better than having a map. People on the back roads in Colorado are always happy to help another mountain traveler out, and I met some really nice people that way.
So, I was driving along in a really spectacular area and I hadn't met another truck or jeep for two hours - pretty remote part of the mountains - and I'd stopped at a point where you had the choice of making a turn or continuing on the same road. I was trying to figure it out when I heard the sound of a motor. Yay! To the rescue, someone who would give me some directions. So, I flagged down the guy driving in a jeep as he came over the crest of the hill.
We started talking about how much we both loved it here and he was just the most pleasant, easy going man about my age. He told me that he comes up to the mountains all the time to do oil paintings of them, and I felt like I'd met a kindred spirit, there by the side of the road. After we talked for a while, we said goodbye - and I swear he looked disappointed, but I'm probably just imagining it because I'd felt so attracted to him.
I got in my car and I thought, "I should turn around and catch up with him and ask him for his phone number. If he's already taken, at least I gave it a shot." And then I thought, "This is stupid to chase after a complete stranger up here. He'll probably think I'm a stalker or nuts or something, and I've got on these grubby clothes and a bandanna in my hair and a man like that could have his pick of any woman in the room. I'll make a fool of myself."
So I drove off and I've been regretting it every since. I guess I'd like to figure out a way of running into him again, but hundreds of miles in a mountain range is not exactly like an enchanted evening across a crowded room. Then again, he was dressed for oil painting more than he was for taking a hike off into the wilderness, and there's so many splendid vista's along that road that he probably just pulls over to the side of the road and parks when he seed something he wants to paint and sets up fairly close by. Folks love to go up to the San Juans and try to capture their beauty with photography or painting. I've seen a couple of people with sketch pads set up that way, and this guy said he comes up to the San Juans all the time, so the odds may not be so bad as they first seem.
Plus, he's got to live close by here somewhere. His vehicle wasn't all packed up with stuff for a long distance trip and it wasn't a rental. This is the land of wide open spaces with only a couple of nearby towns, one of which is my own. It would be easy enough to show up at a couple of openings at local art galleries. I used to do that sort of thing all the time when I still lived in the city and I enjoy looking at the paintings, just as I enjoy driving along that stretch of road where I met him in the San Juans.
I really feel like I missed out on a chance that could have turned into something special. Should I go "treasure hunting" or should I go into therapy?
Do I just unknowingly read a romance novel?
If you think about it but don't do it regret is what you have.
I think he would have been flattered.
Had it been a man she would have ran off!!!! Especially if he would have turned around.
I have had encounters like you have too - always regretted not taking another step. You don't need therapy
Did you happen to get his name, even his first name? If you did you can try a google search - something like His Name Artist + Colorado and see if he has a website or is listed in a nearby gallery. Can't hurt. If not, just keep your eyes open when you do visit a local gallery and you just might run into his work.
Keep the faith, sister!
Dang, I wish I had gotten his name! But I didn't. The reason I had that long preface in my post was to explain how unexpected and surprising it was for me to feel such an affinity for this man. I haven't had a date in 5 years because I wasn't interested. And then this wonderful man in a jeep comes to me in my mountains, and I discover he loves these mountains as much as I do! I'm still just kicking myself that I didn't turn around that day and get his name and phone number.
I'll be on the look-out for him from now on around here. While the mountains are vast, the towns aren't. There's something there and I do think he felt that way, as well. He looked sad when I got in my car to go..
I should go up there and tack wanted posters on all the trees that line the turn off to the road from the paved highway!
Dang, I wish I had gotten his name! But I didn't. The reason I had that long preface in my post was to explain how unexpected and surprising it was for me to feel such an affinity for this man. I haven't had a date in 5 years because I wasn't interested. And then this wonderful man in a jeep comes to me in my mountains, and I discover he loves these mountains as much as I do! I'm still just kicking myself that I didn't turn around that day and get his name and phone number.
I'll be on the look-out for him from now on around here. While the mountains are vast, the towns aren't. There's something there and I do think he felt that way, as well. He looked sad when I got in my car to go..
I should go up there and tack wanted posters on all the trees that line the turn off to the road from the paved highway!
Yeah, that should work. Hahaha!
Go back where you met and post a huge sign saying you want to meet again.
If you think about it but don't do it regret is what you have.
I think he would have been flattered.
Had it been a man she would have ran off!!!! Especially if he would have turned around.
If this man had turned around and came after me, I'd have jumped out of my truck with my name and phone number in my hand. It DID feel like sonething out of a romance. And you're right about regret.
Now, if a man I didn't know started following me around up there and we hadn't stop to talk like I had with my painter, yes - I'd have put 'er in 4 wheel and vanished. One reason I'n still around is that I know how to take care of myself in remote parts of the mountains.
See, this is what I mean. When he realized he was enjoying the conversation, he should have introduced himself. Few guys do that these days, though. They tend to be reticent. Then they wonder why they're alone, or why that nice woman they were really clicking with at the coffee shop/lecture/random event isn't part of their life.
Go back where you met and post a huge sign saying you want to meet again.
That's an interesting thought. If I posted it on a Friday afternoon, it would stay up there all weekend before the Forest Service guys came back from their time off and took it down. Might work.
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Wish I could get over there more often.
