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This is not so uncommon. I have heard of several stories where adult kids find out their dad had other secret children. I found out my ex had a child about the same age as our oldest child. I found out after our marriage ended so it didn't affect me.
I find it strange so many men have children they don't know about. Aren't women hungry for the child support money?
I find it strange so many men have children they don't know about. Aren't women hungry for the child support money?
I have a almost 3 year old son. His father knows about him yet takes nothing to do with him. If I wanted I could phone the CSA and get child support but I don't care for his money at all. So no not all women want money some just want a happy home for their kids
I have a almost 3 year old son. His father knows about him yet takes nothing to do with him. If I wanted I could phone the CSA and get child support but I don't care for his money at all. So no not all women want money some just want a happy home for their kids
Truth be told, most child support money is used to keep mummy's lifestyle.
If my dh was terminal I would have done the same as this guys wife...taken care of him.
If he survived than it would be time for the divorce.
Everyone is different but for me a lie that big would negate anything that a marriage counselor could possibly do. I would not want to put the work in to save a marriage to someone who was that damn deceptive and conniving.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnCatarre
My friend's family has been going through a really delicate situation. His parents have been married for 42 years. His father, who is 69, had cancer and he was pratically terminal at a time. Everyone thought he would die.
So, when he felt really bad, he decided to tell everyone he had two secret sons, one of them exactly my friend's age. He had the other with a woman who had been a maid at their house and he paid her a large amount of money to keep her mouth shut. He has been supporting the kids throughout all this time.
Everyone was shocked but his wife continued to take care of him because, well, he would die. The problem is that, not only did he improve, he just got rid of the cancer last week. It went into absolute remission. No one was expecting that.
Now everything is really awkward. My friend's mother doesn't speak to his father and she actually went to live in another house for some time.
Truth be told, most child support money is used to keep mummy's lifestyle.
Well I can support myself and son pretty well although I did choose to sacrifice my weekends in order to buy him whatever I want. I love being a mum and is rather spend my time with him than going out anyways.
I do know alot of females who use child support on themselves lol pretty sad in my opinion, however why should the dad not contribute to the things a child needs just because he doesn't live with the child? I think they should pay child support and I think the mum should use it for the child.
If my dh was terminal I would have done the same as this guys wife...taken care of him.
If he survived than it would be time for the divorce.
Everyone is different but for me a lie that big would negate anything that a marriage counselor could possibly do. I would not want to put the work in to save a marriage to someone who was that damn deceptive and conniving.
Apparently he also never told his secret sons he was married and had other children. So it's a double lie. I don't know how I would act if he was my father, even though my own father could have perfectly done this as well.
Now I'm ALL for NOT staying with a cheater! However, if the 42-yr marriage was otherwise good, except for this secret so long ago, of course I'd still be furious, but it comes down to if I want to start my life all over & get divorced or not when I'm just about 70 yrs old. When you look at it that way & it sounds like this womanizing husband makes good money, I may just finish out my life with him...doesn't mean I'll ever trust him again though. This sitution is a hard call, I'd have to be in this situation to really see what I'd do. I may feel too hurt to want to look at his face everyday.
I'd first get tested for STD's, etc. because this means he was playing around on me in our much younger days & I'd want to make sure I have no diseases I don't know I have.
Overall, it's still sad that a husband I had for so long chose to lie & cheat on me all these yrs!
Well I can support myself and son pretty well although I did choose to sacrifice my weekends in order to buy him whatever I want. I love being a mum and is rather spend my time with him than going out anyways.
I do know alot of females who use child support on themselves lol pretty sad in my opinion, however why should the dad not contribute to the things a child needs just because he doesn't live with the child? I think they should pay child support and I think the mum should use it for the child.
Of course they should pay child support but many women don't use properly. I know a case where the children would be going hungry if it's wasn't for the grandparents. Mummy has a new iPhone though.
Now I'm ALL for NOT staying with a cheater! However, if the 42-yr marriage was otherwise good, except for this secret so long ago, of course I'd still be furious, but it comes down to if I want to start my life all over & get divorced or not when I'm just about 70 yrs old. When you look at it that way & it sounds like this womanizing husband makes good money, I may just finish out my life with him...doesn't mean I'll ever trust him again though. This sitution is a hard call, I'd have to be in this situation to really see what I'd do. I may feel too hurt to want to look at his face everyday.
I'd first get tested for STD's, etc. because this means he was playing around on me in our much younger days & I'd want to make sure I have no diseases I don't know I have.
Overall, it's still sad that a husband I had for so long chose to lie & cheat on me all these yrs!
From what I know she had caught him cheating before about 3 times before but she had no idea he had other children of course. But he seems to be truly sorry.
Well I can support myself and son pretty well although I did choose to sacrifice my weekends in order to buy him whatever I want. I love being a mum and is rather spend my time with him than going out anyways.
I do know alot of females who use child support on themselves lol pretty sad in my opinion, however why should the dad not contribute to the things a child needs just because he doesn't live with the child? I think they should pay child support and I think the mum should use it for the child.
not a lot of moms (seldom in fact) think the way you do
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