It's a mess... (dating, boyfriend, married, woman)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
This girl and I have been involved since 1.5 yrs. Since the beginning this was complicated due to MANY practical issues. But I can't break off, I'm unwilling to break off and seems like she is unwilling too. The first issue is the difference in our careers...I'm a high school teacher while she is a pharmacist and her salary is 3 times higher than my salary. Second issue: she is below average looking gal and she is obese. In comparison, her friends and parents say I look much attractive than her. I fear people may judge me that I married her because she makes lot of money. Despite of these major issues, we started dating because we were just so happy in each other's company. We both mutually agree we never had a single dull moment together. We have deep chemistry and we both agree that we may never find such chemistry with anyone else. She never had issue with me making less money. But she didn't turn me on sexually AND she does not find me as attractive as her ex boyfriend. I know we may sound shallow but I want to find her attractive because there is no one else like her, there will never be anyone that I connect so well emotionally/intellectually. I thought her looks may grow on me eventually, but it's not happening.
In the beginning when we started none of us were physically attracted to each other...and even after 1.5 yrs, she agrees that I do not turn her on, and I had to be honest that she never turned me on physically. I'm not really shallow like that. I dated girls who were below average looking and they turned me on sexually. I tried and thought I might develop sexual attraction toward her, but it was not happening, sadly.
Lately one of my friends told me that she has an active profile on a dating website. He showed it to me and she was right there online on that website. I was shocked and heartbroken. I called her right away and she admitted that she has been doing that since last 6 months. She said she also went on dates with some guys. I'm losing interest in her since she told me she has been going on dates with other guys. She says she just went on casual coffee dates and never touched any guy physically. I believe her, but still it hurt me that she has been doing this. She says she is just looking around to find a more successful man. Ouch. Needless to say I decided to break up. But she came out as all apologetic and assuring me it will never happen again. But today my friend found her again on the same website, she just made new profile. So I called her and she tells me she will stop going on dating website if I can get a more decent career than just being a school teacher.
I don't know what to do. 3 issues standing between us. (1) Difference in our careers/salaries. My fear of people judging me that I married less attractive woman for her money, (2) We do not find each other sexually attractive and (3) She has been going on casual dates behind my back. I know it looks clear that I should break up, but we mutually have so much connection and chemistry we are afraid to lose. I told her we should break up. But she does not want to. She says she hasn't found anyone who makes her as happy as I make her. She says she will never find this type of chemistry and deep connection and happiness...and I think the same way about her. I don't know what to do.
Do you think you can be friends? Everything you share would be great in a friendship. I would not continue a romantic relationship with someone I am not attracted to...why???
Yeah...dump her today. She says she will never find this type of chemistry and deep connection and happiness...yet she has been dating behind your back and is on dating sites looking for a guy more successful than you!
Dump her today! She is going to dump you in a minute when she finds that more successful guy!
You should read the words you wrote then decide if this is the way you want to live your life.
If it is then leave things as they are. If you do not want to live your life this way then end it and move on.
Others cannot possibly tell you what is right for your life, that is a decision only you can make.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
