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I was mulling this over as I was pondering some of the hilarious messages I have received from online suitors. As we all know they can range from generic to overtly sexual to psycho. Sometimes in the same message.
Or there are the conversations that go nowhere. Or maybe it is everywhere, where someone prefers to ask every possible get to know you question over messages and not actually talk in person.
Obviously everyone has a "checklist" but do you feel with our new rushed and selfish society, people are really quick to define an endgame before anyone has started to play the game or even decided to partake?
People are skipping the pleasantries and jumping straight into the info that you used to gradually draw out, eliminating the mystery and the opportunity to build up a personal connection with someone.
I think it does make it easier to dump someone in the NO pile when you've only interacted with them online because we over share too soon. It doesn't allow the in-person experience that could potentially tip the scales in someone's favor.
I think it does make it easier to dump someone in the NO pile when you've only interacted with them online because we over share too soon. It doesn't allow the in-person experience that could potentially tip the scales in someone's favor.
I like the phrase over share here. I think people are emboldened online to ask questions they would not ever ask in person during the early stages for fear of coming off as impolite.
Now I think they think if they get away with it in the early stages they have even more leeway when they are in a face to face situation.
I don't have any experience in online dating, so I have no idea if this is right or not.
And I haven't even had an opportunity to date in the past 3 years, and things have changed apparently since I actually dated, which was like 6 years ago since I was in a relationship for 3.
The candor of online conversations make it easier, and more socially-comfortable, to identify major incompatibilities without having to actually do anything .
I have also met some awesome RL friends via dating discussion boards. I don't find it possible, for me, to predict sexual chemistry online, but it works great for friend-chemistry.
For dating, after the initial online convo I do need to meet someone IRL, and sooner is better than later .
The candor of online conversations make it easier, and more socially-comfortable, to identify major incompatibilities without having to actually do anything .
I have also met some awesome RL friends via dating discussion boards. I don't find it possible, for me, to predict sexual chemistry online, but it works great for friend-chemistry.
For dating, after the initial online convo I do need to meet someone IRL, and sooner is better than later .
nila makes a good point-pertaining to online conversations,,,,you do evaluate what they do "say", what they dont, and even how they spell
"courting" may be a lost art- but, many woman today seem to have a higher guard up,,,in person, because of the creep/predator factor
im not saying they dont because of online conversations,,, but, i think cold approaches today are 10 times more likely to get shot down....than 30 yrs ago
if an online meeting,,,the first date is very important,, its a friendly meeting, then assess the chemistry..
for guys, its 10 times easier with a starting conversation online,,than it is cold approaching a woman
because its so much easier, a guy may send out 20 emails to woman online dating, and be talking to ten, so if one seems too much of a challenge, he may think he has 8 others possibilities to fall back on..
but overall, courting is not a lost ritual,,,,guys are constantly chasing women,,,
another dynamic that is different is the role models guys have - respecting women/manners/chivalry
if young guys arent taught that or seen role models, then they wont follow
look at the music teenagers listen to,,,,most women are ho's and b-----es
I agree, I think for young men today, it shows them what kind of nutter they might be dating before you even leave the house. In the past, you sometimes didn't find these things out until marriage or a extended LTR. Good for you guys...many women don't deserve a boyfriend or a husband.
Same can be said for men too and many men don't deserve a wife or girlfriend.
Anyway OP I think what it has done is made people thinking they know someone better than they do. It used to take a while to get to know them now it can be fast to know some aspects (or think they know).
I think it works more in men's favor then it does in the women. Women get all caught up in trivial things and tend to be more open online about it. Many of which is overlooked if the guy is really good looking or has a lot of money or social status and or power. I always tell younger men to play it up like they are dirt poor and are sub average in the looks department. You weed out all the golddiggers and rotten snakes that way first. Better yet if you used to be fat or homely looking. Use those pics and watch email scram. IRL, they are conniving witches who will do and say anything to "get me Lucky Charms".
Wrong. I am a woman and I did online and I never did any of that you accuse women of doing.
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