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No! Do not feel sorry for her; she made the decisions that got her into this mess in the first place. There were many times she could have turned everything around, but she chose not to. Therefore, unless you want to stay hooked in and take part in her drama, then please change the locks if you need to - or better yet, leave town for a week so she can't locate you and cry on your shoulder. Please let this be done now. It's time, and in your heart you know it.
No! Do not feel sorry for her; she made the decisions that got her into this mess in the first place. There were many times she could have turned everything around, but she chose not to. Therefore, unless you want to stay hooked in and take part in her drama, then please change the locks if you need to - or better yet, leave town for a week so she can't locate you and cry on your shoulder. Please let this be done now. It's time, and in your heart you know it.
Plus, something else to consider is that your recent actions are sending her mixed messages; she would have every right to think 'if I play my cards right' that you will continue in a relationship with her.
Even though she has cheated and betrayed you, you *probably* don't mean to do her ill in return.
So in truth, your comforting and being kind to her in this way is not true helpfulness. Not if she is gaining in some hope of restoration of the relationship.
I got the mailbox key but she refuses to give up the house key. Her excuse is to come over and clean when she can, but her real reason is probably wanting to catch me with another woman or something .
But we finally got EVERYTHING OUT. You guys should see where she's living - it's a corner of an upstairs living room. She has it blockaded with two changing screens and a tall dresser. Funniest thing in the world. I had a funny thought when I first saw it - "I hope he's worth it" .
But yes, You guys are correct - I'm not going to let her cry on my shoulder whenever she wants. I'm planning to not see her again for quite awhile. Let her have her 'space' (hahaha). And give me my damn space, finally.
Guess who came over at 130 AM last night? Yup.
I was asleep on the blow-up bed, she came in with her key and laid down next to me. I woke up, and she was crying. Apparently the 6 kids and 8 dogs/cats at her roommate's house was too much for her.
So here I am being the nice guy and letting her crash here, and in my bed no less. argh.
Hopefully this wont become a regular thing, but I have a feeling...
alright, catch you guys l8r .
Breaking up is a process. People let go of each other in stages.
I got the mailbox key but she refuses to give up the house key. Her excuse is to come over and clean when she can, but her real reason is probably wanting to catch me with another woman or something .
But we finally got EVERYTHING OUT. You guys should see where she's living - it's a corner of an upstairs living room. She has it blockaded with two changing screens and a tall dresser. Funniest thing in the world. I had a funny thought when I first saw it - "I hope he's worth it" .
But yes, You guys are correct - I'm not going to let her cry on my shoulder whenever she wants. I'm planning to not see her again for quite awhile. Let her have her 'space' (hahaha). And give me my damn space, finally.
alright, catch you guys l8r .
Yeah, sometimes it's funny in a pathetic way to watch and witness what one apparrently "chose" instead of you and know in your heart of hearts that she's looking back at how things were when she was with you and knowing the inevitability that she will realize that things with you were actually quite good in comparison to the wreck her poor choices have made her life.
I know you don't wish ill on her, but there is always some satisfaction when someone treats you like she did and then life and karma seem to take over.
I wouldn't worry TOO much about the key. You're out in two weeks and she won't have a key to your new place, right??? You want to make a statement then you move to the couch when she climbs into your bed or whatever....
Just make sure you use a condom. The last thing you want to do is get her pregnant right now.
Ain't karma fun! What comes around...goes around. I love it. I had a similar satisfactory experience with my ex. Within a year of her cheating on me, and moving in with the guy...her entire life went completely to crap. His too. Revenge karma. The best there is.
Lost - I am sorry this has to be so drawn out for you! I truly hope it can all go away before the New year so you can start fresh!
You deserve so much in your life
Finally got the mailbox key and the house key from her today. She basically threw them at me.
..and then told me about why she stood my parents up yesterday. My mom wanted to see her, possibly for the last time, and maybe take some pictures. But the STBX never showed. she was stuck an hour away having thx-dinner with her best friends' family. they didn't get back till 830 and the stbx passed out. whatever. we had fun without ya, darling.
she passed out on my airbed, here at the apartment. she had mentioned something about her place being filled with 15 people, so whatever.
she's such a princess, whatever she wants, she expects to get. and she thinks she is the only one who can be angry. frustrating. but at least I can the keys now.
Reading this with great interest since my experience was somewhat similar-be prepared to be the "bad guy" when her choices really hit home. She doesn't sound like responsibilty for her actions is part of her nature. Know in advance you did all you could and she will need to live what her decisions have brought her. Stay strong and DISTANT from the drama if it comes your way. Good luck, life is better without the dark clouds
My first post here but I think you need to draw a bold line and not permit her to cross it. Stop giving her a place to crash. Stop letting her sleep in your bed. You are holding on as much as she is and somebody needs to take a strong stand and announce that this is it.
On your end, take it one day at a time. TODAY I will not take her calls, let her in the door, or engage her. TODAY I will succeed in not having her in my life.
Once you make it through one day, the rest get easier.
I did the same with my ex- had a very hard time breaking it off completely but when I did, I was able to move forward with my own life and healing.
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Agree so strongly with this...
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