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So, i posted here a lot about the wonderful affair i was having with the best man i ever met in my life. He is 39, Im 30, we had the most passionate, intense, conflict-free, fun, deep, intense, passionate, did i said passionate?, intelectually rewarding, amazing, deep, passionate romance for about 6 months, and now its finally over. Cant say im shocked, though, i wasnt ready for commitment, and i certainly wasnt reading to fall in love as hard as i did (i started this relationship RIGHT AFTER my boyfriend of 7 years, the supposed love of my life, left me and went to another country) and the timing simly wasnt right.
I realize i should have been alone after my long term bf broke up with me in march/april, but i wasnt alone at all. And, before him, i had other long term (5 years relationship) from 18 to 23 years of age. One minute after i broke up with my boyfriend, i started dating my best friend, who was this guy i dated for 7 years. And when he left me, and it was gonna be the first time in my life (at 30 y/o) that i was gonna be alone, this guy appeared and rock my world. Easily the smartest, most interesting, sweetest, most caring, best lover, best kisser, nicer, more gentleman, more intellectual, most AMAZING guy i ever met in my life. He helped me a lot, was there for me in ways i didnt know exist, was selfless, sweet, nice, caring, all kinds of amazing in a surreal way, like, most of the time in this last 6 months I felt like i was flying, the happiest i ever been in my life for real. BUT, we all know life isnt like this and good things dont last . We ended up in good terms and he forever will be a big love in my life, someone who will be hard to top in my heart or even come close to. An affair to remember .
Anyways, point is, just alone after having so much attention from the nicest guy ever, how do i do to not get depressed? what do u recommend? I do know that this is finally my time to be alone, no guys please, its my needed time for learning to be with myself and learn about myself and heal about all my past relationships before i can even think of falling in love again. I could casually date, though, but nowhere near what i did with this guy, not getting involved.
So i should get involved in new activities maybe? where to channel all my libido??
damn, its gonna be a difficult end of the year for me, wish me luck!
And could you please tell how you recover from a break up with a guy that was perfect in every aspect?
Cause with my ex (the guy i was with 7 years) it was easy cause he was a narcissistic traumatized douche, but when a guy is the nicest guy in the universe, is not that easy to hate him or just get him out of your head
Bad timing. We both got out of long relationships, this was never inteded to be a serious relationship, i never wanted to commit because i knew (still know) that im very hurt for my past relationship of 7 years that just ended when i met this new guy. He was feeling more or less the same. It was supposed to be fun, carefree, no commitment, no involment, no dependency, etc. I have A LOT of dependency issues and am kinda traumatized with what happened with this ex of 7 years, who, basically, left me with nothing. We were gonna be a family, i gave literally EVERYTHING to him and he left to another country. Theres no way im ready to trust again, to put myself outhere again, to be vulnerable like that. This ex of mine was my kryptonie, and when he left me i was ready for NO MAN ever to be my kryptonite again.
When we mutually decide to broke up with this new, wonderful man, he said to me: "I dont want to be your kryptonite". He was damn right. He was starting to be cause i felt head over heels SO MUCH for him, that some of the feelings and sensations that made me so unhappy in my past relationships (jealousy, neediness, dependency) appared again and i felt i needed to put an end to it. This guy is too great, this relationship was too awesome, to contaminate it with my past ghosts. Im not ready and open to love yet. To bad i met THIS guy now. He is so amazing that just thinking of his smile make me wanna cry.
Bad timing. We both got out of long relationships, this was never inteded to be a serious relationship, i never wanted to commit because i knew (still know) that im very hurt for my past relationship of 7 years that just ended when i met this new guy. He was feeling more or less the same. It was supposed to be fun, carefree, no commitment, no involment, no dependency, etc. I have A LOT of dependency issues and am kinda traumatized with what happened with this ex of 7 years, who, basically, left me with nothing. We were gonna be a family, i gave literally EVERYTHING to him and he left to another country. Theres no way im ready to trust again, to put myself outhere again, to be vulnerable like that. This ex of mine was my kryptonie, and when he left me i was ready for NO MAN ever to be my kryptonite again.
When we mutually decide to broke up with this new, wonderful man, he said to me: "I dont want to be your kryptonite". He was damn right. He was starting to be cause i felt head over heels SO MUCH for him, that some of the feelings and sensations that made me so unhappy in my past relationships (jealousy, neediness, dependency) appared again and i felt i needed to put an end to it. This guy is too great, this relationship was too awesome, to contaminate it with my past ghosts. Im not ready and open to love yet. To bad i met THIS guy now. He is so amazing that just thinking of his smile make me wanna cry.
Uh huh. That's the girly-girl romance novel version. What's HIS version, I wonder? Anyone want to take a stab?
Uh huh. That's the girly-girl romance novel version. What's HIS version, I wonder? Anyone want to take a stab?
(jealousy, neediness, dependency)
Anyway, don't fret the alone thing. And don't try to remain friends with "Mr. Perfect"...find new ones. If you don't have close girlfriends now is a good time to develop some relationships. You are right in thinking it's good to spend some time being single, that's when different kinds of relationships, the non romantic kind, can grow. Don't feel like you have to be doing something all the time either, there is nothing wrong with being home alone with a book or a Mad Men marathon. Do something creative.
But just so you know, when you make it known you aren't looking to date guys will somehow want to date you. Be picky and don't fall into any old, bad habits.
lonliness scares the hell out of some people, because they are left in a minefield of unresolved issues.
maybe its a good time to do some soul-searching, a good time to do some baggage cleansing, a good time to be free for a while..
so the next time a mr perfect comes along, the unresolved ghosts of the past wont be haunting you-
give yourself a few months before starting anything new/serious-and dont think of yourself as alone, (such negative connotations with that word) think of yourself as independent.
lonliness scares the hell out of some people, because they are left in a minefield of unresolved issues.
maybe its a good time to do some soul-searching, a good time to do some baggage cleansing, a good time to be free for a while..
so the next time a mr perfect comes along, the unresolved ghosts of the past wont be haunting you-
give yourself a few months before starting anything new/serious-and dont think of yourself as alone, (such negative connotations with that word) think of yourself as independent.
Are you sure commitment fears on your part didn't play a role? It's so easy to put the responsibility for a break-up on the other partner. A common pattern, esp for women, with commitment fear is to fall heavily in love in every way with a perfect person who just isn't available and then have the relationship go down the drain in a flash.
When we mutually decide to broke up with this new, wonderful man, he said to me: "I dont want to be your kryptonite". He was damn right. He was starting to be cause i felt head over heels SO MUCH for him, that some of the feelings and sensations that made me so unhappy in my past relationships (jealousy, neediness, dependency) appared again and i felt i needed to put an end to it. This guy is too great, this relationship was too awesome, to contaminate it with my past ghosts. Im not ready and open to love yet. To bad i met THIS guy now. He is so amazing that just thinking of his smile make me wanna cry.
Doesn't sound like a good reason to throw away an absolutely great relationship. Your other option would have bee to stay with him, but get some therapy to resolve your issues.
Uh huh. That's the girly-girl romance novel version. What's HIS version, I wonder? Anyone want to take a stab?
He got tired of her? He gave her the old "you're too good for me, you deverve better" blah blah blah. Once he was tired of having his way with her, he moved on.
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. He is 39, Im 30, we had the most passionate, intense, conflict-free, fun, deep, intense, passionate, did i said passionate?
, intelectually rewarding, amazing, deep, passionate 
. Cant say im shocked, though, i wasnt ready for commitment, and i certainly wasnt reading to fall in love as hard as i did (i started this relationship RIGHT AFTER my boyfriend of 7 years, the supposed love of my life, left me and went to another country) and the timing simly wasnt right. 
