Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So, yeah, hello, hope you who reads this have a good day . Long story short, My ex and i were in close to 1 year relationship, but some things happened and we broke up, i will try to explain best i can. So we met eachother on carneval last year in like April, trought close friend of ours and ik i can't say this, that's on other people to say or see, but after that day, everything was perfect, normal, how it is supposed to be i guess in a* healty relationship. I am 22 years old and she is 24. We started dating and like i said everything was good, normal etc... She is living in third country, so like 600+km from me, so most of the time of our relationship, it was long distance and trough the telephone and stuff. I guess that's what you can only do when it's long distance. So in May, she returned to her home and we didn't saw eachother for like 3 months and then she came from the college pause (it's weird in my country with school, don't mind it haha) and we were together for like 2 whole months and that was amazing, again everything normal, good etc. Then started the "downfall" if i can name it like that :c. She returned to her home and we planned my trip after 30-ish days pass, to her home, and yeah i flew to her country, best time of my life honestly at that point. But (always that BUT), my dad was very ill, last stadium of cancer in his mouth, i don't know what's it called, but yeah, he was very ill about that time when i went to my gf, not to mention that that's like 2 whole years long, his battle with it so yeah. Third day with me being now with my gf in her home in like third country from mine hahaha, i get call from my mom that my dad passed away. I returned to my country... So you can guess, i hope, what next was happening. I was not there emotionally for my girlfriend, our relationship got so formally and idk what to call it literally, but sad, no communication, i caged my self somehow in myself and didn't let her help me or anything at all. And after 3 months of us not having a proper relationship and not communicating; i felt like we were some strangers at that point; she broke up with me cause it was brutal for her, and i can only imagine honestly, put yourself in her shoes. But, everytime we met after brake up or messaging or whatever, she always is implying on that like who knows what can happen in year, two, three, soooo yeah. Now my question is why after like whole year, and after all the stuff, why i can't let go of her, always thinking about her, and being letargic without a reason, only cause thinking of her. I even did like a student season job for 3 months and it did not helped at all. I was thinking maybe it will move my thoughts away but that was not the result, and not to talk with every other thing i do to forget about her, it's just not helping, even after a whole year now. How can i have feelings for her at this point.* I know it just was a bad timing, like she said when we were breaking up, but yeah, what am i hoping for here. Maybe in my head is just her words like i wrote earlier: "Who knows what can happen in like year or two or three".
Do you WANT to be back with this girl? Do you think the 2 of you might have another chance? If you do, then ask her for another chance, and see what happens. Maybe she's been hinting that the 2 of you should try again.
If she shuts you down, than go 'no communication'. It's hard to get over someone when you're still having contact with them. It's very very difficult for 2 people, who were in a romantic relationship, to go to just being friends.
And if you DO get back with this girl, the two of you need a plan to be together sooner rather than later. It's very hard to maintain long distance relationships.
So, yeah, hello, hope you who reads this have a good day . Long story short, My ex and i were in close to 1 year relationship, but some things happened and we broke up, i will try to explain best i can. So we met eachother on carneval last year in like April, trought close friend of ours and ik i can't say this, that's on other people to say or see, but after that day, everything was perfect, normal, how it is supposed to be i guess in a* healty relationship. I am 22 years old and she is 24. We started dating and like i said everything was good, normal etc... She is living in third country, so like 600+km from me, so most of the time of our relationship, it was long distance and trough the telephone and stuff. I guess that's what you can only do when it's long distance. So in May, she returned to her home and we didn't saw eachother for like 3 months and then she came from the college pause (it's weird in my country with school, don't mind it haha) and we were together for like 2 whole months and that was amazing, again everything normal, good etc. Then started the "downfall" if i can name it like that :c. She returned to her home and we planned my trip after 30-ish days pass, to her home, and yeah i flew to her country, best time of my life honestly at that point. But (always that BUT), my dad was very ill, last stadium of cancer in his mouth, i don't know what's it called, but yeah, he was very ill about that time when i went to my gf, not to mention that that's like 2 whole years long, his battle with it so yeah. Third day with me being now with my gf in her home in like third country from mine hahaha, i get call from my mom that my dad passed away. I returned to my country... So you can guess, i hope, what next was happening. I was not there emotionally for my girlfriend, our relationship got so formally and idk what to call it literally, but sad, no communication, i caged my self somehow in myself and didn't let her help me or anything at all. And after 3 months of us not having a proper relationship and not communicating; i felt like we were some strangers at that point; she broke up with me cause it was brutal for her, and i can only imagine honestly, put yourself in her shoes. But, everytime we met after brake up or messaging or whatever, she always is implying on that like who knows what can happen in year, two, three, soooo yeah. Now my question is why after like whole year, and after all the stuff, why i can't let go of her, always thinking about her, and being letargic without a reason, only cause thinking of her. I even did like a student season job for 3 months and it did not helped at all. I was thinking maybe it will move my thoughts away but that was not the result, and not to talk with every other thing i do to forget about her, it's just not helping, even after a whole year now. How can i have feelings for her at this point.* I know it just was a bad timing, like she said when we were breaking up, but yeah, what am i hoping for here. Maybe in my head is just her words like i wrote earlier: "Who knows what can happen in like year or two or three".
Just seek help. A professional therapist can help yo understand your feelings, and put yourself in a place where you can have a healthy relationship. It sounds like you need someone to talk with who can help you process and walk though your feelings. Best to you!!!
So, yeah, hello, hope you who reads this have a good day . Long story short, My ex and i were in close to 1 year relationship, but some things happened and we broke up, i will try to explain best i can. So we met eachother on carneval last year in like April, trought close friend of ours and ik i can't say this, that's on other people to say or see, but after that day, everything was perfect, normal, how it is supposed to be i guess in a* healty relationship. I am 22 years old and she is 24. We started dating and like i said everything was good, normal etc... She is living in third country, so like 600+km from me, so most of the time of our relationship, it was long distance and trough the telephone and stuff. I guess that's what you can only do when it's long distance. So in May, she returned to her home and we didn't saw eachother for like 3 months and then she came from the college pause (it's weird in my country with school, don't mind it haha) and we were together for like 2 whole months and that was amazing, again everything normal, good etc. Then started the "downfall" if i can name it like that :c. She returned to her home and we planned my trip after 30-ish days pass, to her home, and yeah i flew to her country, best time of my life honestly at that point. But (always that BUT), my dad was very ill, last stadium of cancer in his mouth, i don't know what's it called, but yeah, he was very ill about that time when i went to my gf, not to mention that that's like 2 whole years long, his battle with it so yeah. Third day with me being now with my gf in her home in like third country from mine hahaha, i get call from my mom that my dad passed away. I returned to my country... So you can guess, i hope, what next was happening. I was not there emotionally for my girlfriend, our relationship got so formally and idk what to call it literally, but sad, no communication, i caged my self somehow in myself and didn't let her help me or anything at all. And after 3 months of us not having a proper relationship and not communicating; i felt like we were some strangers at that point; she broke up with me cause it was brutal for her, and i can only imagine honestly, put yourself in her shoes. But, everytime we met after brake up or messaging or whatever, she always is implying on that like who knows what can happen in year, two, three, soooo yeah. Now my question is why after like whole year, and after all the stuff, why i can't let go of her, always thinking about her, and being letargic without a reason, only cause thinking of her. I even did like a student season job for 3 months and it did not helped at all. I was thinking maybe it will move my thoughts away but that was not the result, and not to talk with every other thing i do to forget about her, it's just not helping, even after a whole year now. How can i have feelings for her at this point.* I know it just was a bad timing, like she said when we were breaking up, but yeah, what am i hoping for here. Maybe in my head is just her words like i wrote earlier: "Who knows what can happen in like year or two or three".
When she broke up with you, she used the excuse "timing, maybe things will be different in a few years or whatever.....that doesn't matter. That is in the future. What she wants now is her freedom. She does not want to be with you anymore, and she's not mature enough to explain the true reasons to you. She wants to keep you hanging, so if things don't work out for her, she has someone to fall back on.
You dated a year. You've been broken up a year. Time should have taken care of this by now, but only if you allow it to. If you still think, hope and pray that she will come back, you are only wasting valuable time out of your own life. Life is what "you" make it. You can allow a person to control your emotions, or anything else they want to control. You are the only person that can get in the driver's seat of your own life and YOU steer it where YOU want it to go. Try doing that and have no contact with her , and before you know it you will be setting goals for yourself and achieving them. You will be empowered by not allowing her instability to affect YOU. The best thing of all is that in doing this, you will become emotionally happy and you will actually attract healthy women IN YOUR OWN BACK YARD, not thousands of miles away.
Do you WANT to be back with this girl? Do you think the 2 of you might have another chance? If you do, then ask her for another chance, and see what happens. Maybe she's been hinting that the 2 of you should try again.
If she shuts you down, than go 'no communication'. It's hard to get over someone when you're still having contact with them. It's very very difficult for 2 people, who were in a romantic relationship, to go to just being friends.
And if you DO get back with this girl, the two of you need a plan to be together sooner rather than later. It's very hard to maintain long distance relationships.
Thank you kindly for your reply. Well maybe 2 months after we broke up, thinking about her words that who knows what can happen in the future, i asked her about us trying again and stuff like that. But she said it like i don't think i wanna do it cause i don't wanna be sad and stuff again? but again says that stuff about us in the future. Update is that we met last weekend cause she came to our hometown and we were seeing eachother, kissing, holding hands, even me staying overnight with her in her house, which is unormal if i can imagine you reading, like everyday with her coming to do some stuff about college which is confusing as hell, but yeah and i purporsly didn't asked anything about relationship cause i started distancing myself a little bit, and then day before she had to get back to her country and home, she said with whole face covered in tears something like: "ya know it's so hard being in hometown and not being with you there, holding hands, whatever just seeing you, just beeing here without you is wrong, but i don't feel like i am ready for relationship again with you", and again that stuff about the future
Thank you kindly for your reply. Well maybe 2 months after we broke up, thinking about her words that who knows what can happen in the future, i asked her about us trying again and stuff like that. But she said it like i don't think i wanna do it cause i don't wanna be sad and stuff again? but again says that stuff about us in the future. Update is that we met last weekend cause she came to our hometown and we were seeing eachother, kissing, holding hands, even me staying overnight with her in her house, which is unormal if i can imagine you reading, like everyday with her coming to do some stuff about college which is confusing as hell, but yeah and i purporsly didn't asked anything about relationship cause i started distancing myself a little bit, and then day before she had to get back to her country and home, she said with whole face covered in tears something like: "ya know it's so hard being in hometown and not being with you there, holding hands, whatever just seeing you, just beeing here without you is wrong, but i don't feel like i am ready for relationship again with you", and again that stuff about the future
Take her word for it. Find a local girlfriend. You’ll be happier than you are now.
Didn't read the wall of text, but I suspect I didn't need to... I'm pretty sure the answer you need to hear is, "No, you will not get back together; move on."
Okay, skimmed it, so, ETA: exactly how do you think this long-distance relationship will work out? Which of you will give up their entire life (job, family, friends, possibly hobbies, etc.) to move to another country for a relationship that wasn't that serious with someone you don't know all that well? And what happens if it doesn't work out?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
. Long story short, My ex and i were in close to 1 year relationship, but some things happened and we broke up, i will try to explain best i can. So we met eachother on carneval last year in like April, trought close friend of ours and ik i can't say this, that's on other people to say or see, but after that day, everything was perfect, normal, how it is supposed to be i guess in a* healty relationship. I am 22 years old and she is 24. We started dating and like i said everything was good, normal etc... She is living in third country, so like 600+km from me, so most of the time of our relationship, it was long distance and trough the telephone and stuff. I guess that's what you can only do when it's long distance. So in May, she returned to her home and we didn't saw eachother for like 3 months and then she came from the college pause (it's weird in my country with school, don't mind it haha) and we were together for like 2 whole months and that was amazing, again everything normal, good etc. Then started the "downfall" if i can name it like that :c. She returned to her home and we planned my trip after 30-ish days pass, to her home, and yeah i flew to her country, best time of my life honestly at that point. But (always that BUT), my dad was very ill, last stadium of cancer in his mouth, i don't know what's it called, but yeah, he was very ill about that time when i went to my gf, not to mention that that's like 2 whole years long, his battle with it so yeah. Third day with me being now with my gf in her home in like third country from mine hahaha, i get call from my mom that my dad passed away. I returned to my country... So you can guess, i hope, what next was happening. I was not there emotionally for my girlfriend, our relationship got so formally and idk what to call it literally, but sad, no communication, i caged my self somehow in myself and didn't let her help me or anything at all. And after 3 months of us not having a proper relationship and not communicating; i felt like we were some strangers at that point; she broke up with me cause it was brutal for her, and i can only imagine honestly, put yourself in her shoes. But, everytime we met after brake up or messaging or whatever, she always is implying on that like who knows what can happen in year, two, three, soooo yeah. Now my question is why after like whole year, and after all the stuff, why i can't let go of her, always thinking about her, and being letargic without a reason, only cause thinking of her. I even did like a student season job for 3 months and it did not helped at all. I was thinking maybe it will move my thoughts away but that was not the result, and not to talk with every other thing i do to forget about her, it's just not helping, even after a whole year now. How can i have feelings for her at this point.* I know it just was a bad timing, like she said when we were breaking up, but yeah, what am i hoping for here. Maybe in my head is just her words like i wrote earlier: "Who knows what can happen in like year or two or three".
