What do women mean when they say they want a man with a good personality?

[ohio_peasant]

Originally Posted by NilaJones

And I think most women, or the ones I know IRL anyway, tend to think that if a relationship broke up, then they were not picky enough before it started.

This, plus having our own happy lives with friends and career, leads to the oft-mentioned-by-men increased choosiness of women as they get older. Is it wrong?

Nothing is entirely wrong, save for intentional fraud and malice. And sometimes, not even then.

And yet one wonders how often we disregard the obvious bounty, while striving for something higher. American culture has predilection towards incessant optimization; score the best deal, live in the best neighborhood, drive the best car, marry the best girl, build the best career, invest in the best mutual funds, enjoy the best retirement, be interred in the best tomb. Wait, don't we all deserve the best? Leather beats vinyl, granite beats teak, paper covers rock. What if I settle for less than the best? Am I a sage or a chump?

We hear much these days of the vaunted 1%. And they, of the 0.01%. Everybody aims to rise, and barring that, to certainly eschew entanglements where they're liable to descend. Why countenance the risk, when so many good choices abound? Until they don't.

I don't dispute that choices matter, or that foolish choices don't have deleterious consequences. They do. But even the wisest choice might eventually cause us grief.

Relationships break because people come to espouse different dreams - and find no remedy, save to pursue different spouses. Yes, some initially appealing partners eventually become louts or degenerates. It happens. But I contend that in most cases, the problem isn't having been insufficiently picky from the start, but being too picky now. By striving to assiduously to rise, we bump our heads into a ceiling of our own creation.

[ShinyHappyLucy]

For me it would mean having a good bit in common, a good sense of humor, and the ability to keep a conversation going. That would keep me interested.

[lilyflower3191981]

Originally Posted by TheHurricaneKid

Although I do have manners and posses a somewhat content spirit, I'm not exactly an entertainer sort of person. I'm not very comfortable with flirting either, in addition to being timid. My sense of humor is an uncommon sort too, providing only an occasional laugh, and giving a mere chuckle at the detection of most jokes.

People close to me say that it took them a while before they realized I'm someone they want to be friends with.

Another thing is, what I find interesting and fun and entertaining is found boring by most others.

In addition, my voice has been described as that of an old man.

I've thought about watching football (handegg) since that seems to be the rage these days for the young folks, but I can't really be arsed to pay for cable.





....If a man were to mold his personality to make himself dateable, which specific attributes should his certain parts of personality have?

I wonder if you are a loner. I know I have always been and I perhaps am an old soul as well.
I think you should just live an authentic life. I really can care less what others think of me. I have been dating men ever since I was 13, but I don't think I have truly connected with anybody until I was 23. Now that I am 28, I finally understand what love really means. =)

You perhaps are one of those people have a lot of hidden anger and rage inside you due to unresolved childhood issues (well, based on your posting histories) True happiness comes within. Until you work on yourself, you can never find happiness from others.

Good luck to you.

p.s. I am not a good flirt either because I don't like it. I am not a very friendly person but I think I am genuine. All the men I've dated in the past understand me and accept me for me. Find somebody you can connect with spiritually, emotionally, physically and sexually. Don't settle.

[Tele-Cat]

Originally Posted by TheHurricaneKid

....If a man were to mold his personality to make himself dateable, which specific attributes should his certain parts of personality have?

Six-figure income never hurts.

[Tele-Cat]

Originally Posted by J.P.

It means they want the person they're physically attracted to having a good personality.

Huh?

[Henry10]

What do women mean when they say they want a man with a good personality?

Pretty simple: it means they want somebody whom they can mold and change, and they want somebody who shuts up and listens.