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Ok, folks, let's list some! - Feel what your partner is feeling. Do this by paying careful attention to their breathing, movements tiny and large, muscle tone... and what they tell you .
- Maintain a balance of attention between what you are feeling and what your partner is feeling -- with most of your focus on what they are feeling.
- Don't be afraid. Don't worry that if you are great today they will expect too much next time. Don't worry about your looks. Don't worry about what the neighbors are thinking.
- Be present. Don't think about work .
- Learn anatomy. Guys, do you know where the internal parts of the clitoris are and how to reach them? Women, do you know where your guy's prostate is and why it matters?
- Remember that everyone's body is different. Don't get hung up on doing what worked with your last partner. Be curious. What works with this person?
- Be silly. Bodies are funny! It's ok to make mistakes, to try something and it doesn't work, to make farting noises when your bellies rub together.
- Don't do what you are 'supposed' to. Who made those rules anyway, about how long you do X before you do Y? Maybe X is so much fun that you never even get to Y today -- that's fine!
This might just be me but I don't like when a guy stops and asks if he can do this or that. JUST DO IT. I'll tell you if I don't like it. Timidity is a mood killer.
There is a lot more to great sex than vigorous pounding in different positions. Learn oral skills, how to touch. Learn how to use toys and don't be intimidated or insulted by them.
#1 Keep your mouth shut and speak loudly and clearly when it's your turn to do so.
#2 Listen to what the woman says and pay attention to her needs.
#3 Have a backbone, an opinion and a personality.
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