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OP are you sure your own standards aren't too high? What's wrong with going for an average or below average looking girl? You're just giving up and selling yourself short because of physical appearance.
If you were truly content being alone and liberated you wouldn't be posting here seeking validation from others.
It's a liberating feeling to accept that you're not attractive to the opposite sex
Yeah. I never had that feeling until I was pushing 45. At that point I felt like I could flirt with women and they'd just think of me as a funny, dirty old man and not take it seriously. I struck up conversations just for the conversation and nothing more. I told stories and jokes and generally quit taking myself so seriously. It changed my life. Without realizing it, I'd become attractive to women who I'd never have guessed would be attracted to me -- some very beautiful and 15-20 years younger than I. Amazing! It wasn't a goal at all; it was just me coming out of my shell of seriousness.
Here's what that taught me: Attractiveness isn't so much about facial or body features as it is how you present yourself. If you're wallowing in self-pity or doubt, that's not attractive to anyone. Loosen up and enjoy life and others around you, and in turn they will enjoy your company -- and find you attractive. A wide smile, some interesting conversation and an occasional wink will likely do more for your attractiveness than $million in cosmetic surgery and six-pack abs.
In my youth I worked with a guy who was married to a stunningly beautiful woman. I wondered how that skinny guy with the huge nose attracted such a beautiful woman. Looking back on it, I now know. He was always confident, fun to be around, quick to smile, always had a good story to tell and made you laugh. His income sucked, he had no money at the time and only an English degree from a small midwest college, but a few decades later he was a multi-millionaire with a couple mansions and a big yacht to boot.
......... there was a decently hot girl working on my floor, . ........
Or maybe you could finally figure out that you are not qualified to be the love toy of hot women. You might be able to find someone if you look for a woman who is equal to you in looks, education, life experince, and basic beliefs.
But I agree. If you can not settle for anything less than super attractive, and you are not qualified as super attractive, then you are probably going to remain alone.
So your standards are simply too high. You're giving up on all women just because you cannot find one that meets your most likely very high expectations.
When you accept that, your life becomes more simple and care-free. You get to live without feeling like you have something to prove to yourself and without having to endure rejection.
At work today, there was a decently hot girl working on my floor, and at first I thought about trying to stir up small talk, crack some jokes and see if she responded well. But, on second thought, I decided not to and went along with my day pretending like she was invisible. Great decision. If I was an attractive guy, it might've been worth trying to converse with her, but I'm not an attractive guy. Maybe 1/50 attractive women think I'm cute, and that's not a chance I want to take. Not worth it.
I am content being a loner. While I would be happier with a girlfriend, I'm not discontent without one. I'm satisfied with a life of going to work, running or going to gym, reading, dinking around on the computer, drinking alcohol. I can't comprehend the mind of a guy who spends a lot of time, money and mental energy chasing women when he's not naturally attractive to them. I tried to do that and my life was miserable.
When you learn to accept who you are as a person and optimize what you have without being arrogant or self-absorbed, others will want to know what's making you tick. It's called positive vibes that people want to share with each other. If you're already saying you're not an attractive guy before giving yourself a chance with a woman, then keep that feeling for yourself and be happy. I don't believe it's entirely positive though.
If you are content being a loner, that's fine and dandy. Some people really and truly are. I know that my life is not contingent on needing a woman in it to achieve total happiness. Having a woman to share what your passionate about in life is a big time bonus though. If you haven't experienced the fun part of showing off to a woman who's totally enamored with you showing off to her and then some, you are missing out on one of life's best pleasures.
I still would like to believe that I am attracted to at least someone from the opposite sex, so I continue to work on my presentation for myself and let my best features shine. Some women see that, others don't. You can't judge the ones who don't see that in you as your primary decision to exclude the opposite sex from your life. It's not fair to the other women who are probably noticing your shine but you're too concerned with the ones who don't.
Rejection only stings if you let it. Sometimes it can sting you in the way that you won't know because you didn't take that chance. The shoulda, coulda, wouldas can hurt more if you dwell on the opportunity you didn't grasp to take a chance on.
Are you not attracted to women and going asexual or are you just too afraid of rejection and use that as an excuse to justify your position?
I look forward to the time when I'm no longer attracted to women..When I'm 75. I'll finally be able to get some stuff done.
Sooo many sad sacks on city-data.
I assume the op works out and lifts weights, carries himself confidence, can be playfully teasing towards women, approaches women often...In other words he has tried everything he could before he gave up and became a self loathing whiner.
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