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I have been with my girlfriend for about 8 months. We both hit it off from the beginning and are highly compatible people. Though there is one issue, a very large one, which is creating a lot of unease in the relationship for me. So much unease that I have been contemplating ending the relationship ever since she stated her opinion to me about it a month ago.
We discussed children, and what would she do in the event of an accidental pregnancy. She stated that if she were to get pregnant that an abortion is off the table and she would definitely keep the child. I am strongly opposed to having a child at this point in time because neither of us is even remotely financially able to properly care for a child, plus I do not want to have kids now, and possibly not ever, which I told her. If we were to have kids we should both be financially and emotionally ready to care for one.
Ever since she told me that if she did get pregnant that she would definitely keep the kid I have been making excuses to avoid sleeping with her. I immediately regretted having sex with her the two times we have done it since she stated her opinion on pregnancy. The small chance of getting her pregnant is more than I am willing to bear at this point in time.
I don't always use condoms, because she is on the pill, but she doesn't do a very good job of taking the pill at the same time everyday. I also have great difficulty climaxing with a condom on, so sex isn't very enjoyable for me if I use condoms.
Anyhow, I have strongly been leaning toward breaking up with her. I don't feel completely at ease having sex with her anymore. While I might be willing to continue the relationship without sex, I just don't know if it is a good idea for either of us. I don't know if it would be fair to her to completely withhold sex from her.
I am wondering what other people think. Should I just end the relationship or discuss this all with her and see if she wants have a sexless relationship? I fear she might say that she wants the relationship to continue, but she will be miserable because I will not have sex with her anymore.
Oh, and I have thought about a vasectomy. I am not 100% sure that I don't want kids a few years in the future, but I know with 100% certainty that I do not want kids now and that they would make my life completely miserable now.
I have been with my girlfriend for about 8 months. We both hit it off from the beginning and are highly compatible people. Though there is one issue, a very large one, which is creating a lot of unease in the relationship for me. So much unease that I have been contemplating ending the relationship ever since she stated her opinion to me about it a month ago.
We discussed children, and what would she do in the event of an accidental pregnancy. She stated that if she were to get pregnant that an abortion is off the table and she would definitely keep the child. I am strongly opposed to having a child at this point in time because neither of us is even remotely financially able to properly care for a child, plus I do not want to have kids now, and possibly not ever, which I told her. If we were to have kids we should both be financially and emotionally ready to care for one.
Ever since she told me that if she did get pregnant that she would definitely keep the kid I have been making excuses to avoid sleeping with her. I immediately regretted having sex with her the two times we have done it since she stated her opinion on pregnancy. The small chance of getting her pregnant is more than I am willing to bear at this point in time.
I don't always use condoms, because she is on the pill, but she doesn't do a very good job of taking the pill at the same time everyday. I also have great difficulty climaxing with a condom on, so sex isn't very enjoyable for me if I use condoms.
Anyhow, I have strongly been leaning toward breaking up with her. I don't feel completely at ease having sex with her anymore. While I might be willing to continue the relationship without sex, I just don't know if it is a good idea for either of us. I don't know if it would be fair to her to completely withhold sex from her.
I am wondering what other people think. Should I just end the relationship or discuss this all with her and see if she wants have a sexless relationship? I fear she might say that she wants the relationship to continue, but she will be miserable because I will not have sex with her anymore.
Oh, and I have thought about a vasectomy. I am not 100% sure that I don't want kids a few years in the future, but I know with 100% certainty that I do not want kids now and that they would make my life completely miserable now.
OP: If you keep on the way you are going, she will eventually get pregnant. What are you waiting for? It seems that neither of you will change your mind any time soon.
If there is a pregnancy, you will then have obligated yourself to a life that you say you don't want. And you will only have yourself to blame.
Besides, it would be kinder to break up now than to have that hanging over your head for the next 18-20 years.
Yeah, dude, you've been with this chick EIGHT MONTHS and you're only now talking about her views on abortion and whatnot? And you don't consistently use a condom? ARE YOU INSANE?
Vasectomies are reversible for a short time. Or you can bank some of your sperm for later. Or just get a sperm donor later on down the line like my parents did.
But what the hell are you doing having sex without a condom when you know without a doubt that you do not currently want a child?
I'm sorry, but it's guys like you who **** me off in the extreme. You always end up getting a chick pregnant and then start whining about how she was the irresponsible one or she tricked you or whatever.
I wish guys would be physically and mentally tortured every time when a woman they had sex with have to consider does abortion. It is too easy to push the junk in and tell her to get rid of it Surgeries could tickle guys inner organs without local anestesia.
Then I will discuss about abortion. Thanks giving sperm but if you don't want it to say hello dad later, don't put it in
1. Definetly discuss it openly with her and see if she wants to just be friends.
2. If she does not want to be friends either and wants to stop talking, let her go and don't try to hold onto her.
3. If you stay together USE a condom. Always. Every time.
4. Get a vasectomy when you can and afterwards tell all women you date in the beginning that you have one.
If you don't want children, take some responsibility to prevent it. Don't depend on your partner. This goes for your current girlfriend or future one, should you decide to break things off. Don't put your partner in a position where she must choose between keeping the baby and an abortion. Even someone who says they will opt for an abortion may change their mind once pregnant. Experiment with different brands of condoms until you find one that allows you to have a satisfactory outcome.
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Surgeries could tickle guys inner organs without local anestesia.
