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For those who have braved the online dating scene, when it comes to profiles, do you prefer them short, detailed, dissertation length? Somewhere in between?
I tend to gravitate toward long and/or detailed profiles. I simply can not connect very well with short or practically bare profiles. I'm a writer, so mine is practically a novel, a bloody brilliant one. I have a knack for verbosity, but it hasn't negatively affected my "success."
However, last week I received a message from a gentleman saying he didn't "get" my profile, to which I laughed at because it's pretty damn straightforward. He "liked" me, and I inquired about it because we were not a match at all. Me thinks he didn't quite get the nerd/geek references, because, well, he wasn't a nerd/geek. I actually had another guy who "liked" me and then said he didn't understand part of it, to which I explained the part he didn't understand was meant to attract certain geeky types. He responded with "I'm not into sci-fi." Go figure. Next...
There are a few I've come across that aren't very long, but still very enjoyable due to there being substance and depth where it matters most.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Detailed. I want to know something about the person, otherwise why would I write?
The worst are the stereotypical / cookie cutter ones: My friends think I'm funny, smart and sexy, small children like me, I'm looking for my partner in crime, I am as comfortable in jeans as I am a little black dress! BARF BARF BARF.
Tell me something about you. Why are you awesome? What are you passionate about? Something of substance... This is your first impression!
Too short and it's difficult to find something to message someone about. Too long and there will be nothing really to discuss on a first date or meeting, because I'll already know everything.
Detailed. I want to know something about the person, otherwise why would I write?
The worst are the stereotypical / cookie cutter ones: My friends think I'm funny, smart and sexy, small children like me, I'm looking for my partner in crime, I am as comfortable in jeans as I am a little black dress! BARF BARF BARF.
Tell me something about you. Why are you awesome? What are you passionate about? Something of substance... This is your first impression!
People say that stuff? I actually poke fun at some dating profile cliches in my profile. I had to. My profile comes off very snarky to some, which is a good thing. I hear "walking contradiction" is a common one found in women's profiles. Actually, you're probably not the "walking contradiction" you claim to be. I've come across few who would qualify as such.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Metaphysique
People say that stuff? I actually poke fun at some dating profile cliches in my profile. I had to. My profile comes off very snarky to some, which is a good thing.
80% of women's do. I kid you not. I also mock this stuff and definitely am called snarky and got messages like "what is wrong with....", well, ma'am, nothing is wrong with it, you are just boring...
"I work hard, and live hard"
"I see the glass as half full"
"I have a great job, good friends and I'm close to my family, I'm just looking for the right man to share my life with"
"Friends are always surprised that I'm single, as I'm such a great catch!"
Bullet to the head. BOOM.
(I'm sure there is equivalent crap for men, I just don't know what it would say)
Too short and it's difficult to find something to message someone about. Too long and there will be nothing really to discuss on a first date or meeting, because I'll already know everything.
That has never been my experience, at least not in my case. I think it really depends on the "match" and he depth/interest of both parties. My profile is a bit longer than when I first started OLD, but it hasn't affected initial conversations either on the phone or in person. While my profile is quite long, it certainly doesn't cover everything. Not even close.
People say that stuff? I actually poke fun at some dating profile cliches in my profile. I had to. My profile comes off very snarky to some, which is a good thing. I hear "walking contradiction" is a common one found in women's profiles. Actually, you're probably not the "walking contradiction" you claim to be. I've come across few who would qualify as such.
As he often does, Timberline nailed it. I could easily make a list of the 10 things you'll see on a woman's dating profile. "I'm a jeans and t shirt kind of girl, but can really rock a LBD and heels if the situation calls for it!" would be on that list.
To answer your question, not only do they say that....but MANY of them say it.
80% of women's do. I kid you not. I also mock this stuff and definitely am called snarky and got messages like "what is wrong with....", well, ma'am, nothing is wrong with it, you are just boring...
"I work hard, and live hard"
"I see the glass as half full"
"I have a great job, good friends and I'm close to my family, I'm just looking for the right man to share my life with"
"Friends are always surprised that I'm single, as I'm such a great catch!"
Bullet to the head. BOOM.
(I'm sure there is equivalent crap for men, I just don't know what it would say)
Whoops, guess I should've continued reading, since you had a list too
And there's definitely one for men as well, I just don't bother reading men's profiles.
80% of women's do. I kid you not. I also mock this stuff and definitely am called snarky and got messages like "what is wrong with....", well, ma'am, nothing is wrong with it, you are just boring...
"I work hard, and live hard"
"I see the glass as half full"
"I have a great job, good friends and I'm close to my family, I'm just looking for the right man to share my life with"
Bullet to the head. BOOM.
(I'm sure there is equivalent crap for men, I just don't know what it would say)
Bahahaha. I see pretty much the same in some men's profiles. Some I come to expect that, though. Honestly, I can not bring myself to talk about myself in the "I like X, Y and Z" way. I just can't. I had to find a way around that somehow. I don't know what my friends think. I assume they think I'm brilliant and awesome. "My friends think I'm uber nice and cool" probably doesn't say much; however, "Acquaintances think I'm arrogant, matter-of-fact and condescending" sounds far more interesting, and it's completely true. I'm not the bubbly or peppy type at all, so I can't market myself in that light. It feels so silly. Which is why I *hate* dating sites with a 1000 character limit for the summary and "what I'm looking for" sections. Seriously. I can't squeeze all of my awesomeness into 1000 characters. It practically forces me to "talk" about myself as if I'm writing a resume, and that isn't going to happen.
Detailed. I want to know something about the person, otherwise why would I write?
The worst are the stereotypical / cookie cutter ones: My friends think I'm funny, smart and sexy, small children like me, I'm looking for my partner in crime, I am as comfortable in jeans as I am a little black dress! BARF BARF BARF.
Tell me something about you. Why are you awesome? What are you passionate about? Something of substance... This is your first impression!
LOL. I've had more than one guy tell me that they honed in on me because I DIDN'T have any of those in my profile.
I like detailed profiles, but sometimes that can backfire. Like when they get too nitpicky about what they like or seem like they're just dumping information - one of my buddies has a 100+ uninterrupted paragraph of just things he likes. In alphabetical order. Totally info dumping and poor self-marketing. Also, sometimes a long and detailed profile can sometimes come off as needy or desperate if it's not well-edited.
My profile is long, but I'm a writer. Without a word limit I can go all kinds of places. A friend reading mine asked if I could write hers - I told her then it wouldn't be hers. She liked mine because it gave a good snapshot of my personality, and I said she should just record herself talking about herself and then do a rough transcription and edit from there. Hers really does capture who she is - if she was in a better dating environment, she would have men messaging her every 5 minutes.
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I'm not the bubbly or peppy type at all, so I can't market myself in that light. It feels so silly. Which is why I *hate* dating sites with a 1000 character limit for the summary and "what I'm looking for" sections. Seriously. I can't squeeze all of my awesomeness into 1000 characters. It practically forces me to "talk" about myself as if I'm writing a resume, and that isn't going to happen.
