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Old 12-30-2013, 06:58 PM
 
Location: Sunshine Coast, QLD
3,674 posts, read 3,036,041 times
Reputation: 5466

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
I agree. If you follow the "rules", and you are really a hippie chick who wears Birkenstock sandals, and you start wearing high heels and hoop earrings, you are not being authentic to yourself. She will be fake.get a man, who expects her to be the high heel woman all the time.

This is what I believe is a leading cause of divorce. People pretending to be someone else. Then, they get married, and wonder who they are married to...

Be authentic to who you are.

It's really is as simple as this ^^^^^^ Why do both men and women make this so difficult?? Life is hard enough as it is, dating is supposed to fun isn't that the point??
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Old 03-25-2014, 10:01 PM
 
Location: Massachusetts
6,301 posts, read 9,647,821 times
Reputation: 4798
I saw the authors on the Today show promoting this same book. This seems to be more of the women have ruined men school of thought. They seem to imply that if all women act a certain way, all men through osmosis will magically turn into high powered executives and corporate attorneys or cavemen that bow hunt all the provisions for the family while they spend their leisure hours swinging on a vine, when there are so many variations of people of either gender.

I am the type who lets the man take the lead. However, this has led to some very deadly silence in the relationships with the quiet guys I usually attract. I know some of these guys ultimately ended up with louder women. I am quite certain no amount of rule playing would magically change these guys into entirely different personalities.
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Old 03-26-2014, 12:47 AM
 
4,078 posts, read 5,415,462 times
Reputation: 4958
Quote:
Originally Posted by ohiogirl22 View Post
Amazon.com: Not Your Mother's Rules: The New Secrets for Dating (The Rules) eBook: Ellen Fein, Sherrie Schneider: Kindle Store

Might be a little late to the party on this one. So I recently read this book. And while some of this stuff is good, some of it was appalling. "Don't talk too much on a date". Really?

Has anyone read this, and if so what was your opinion. Also has anyone tried these "Rules"?
Both those clowns who wrote the book are divorcees who apparently aren't experts at the advice they give!
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Old 03-26-2014, 03:23 AM
 
Location: I don't know..If you find me, let me know.
639 posts, read 678,780 times
Reputation: 673
Rules for what???










To break it.....
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Old 03-26-2014, 08:14 AM
 
7,235 posts, read 7,040,258 times
Reputation: 12265
One thing to remember: authors of these type of books are not writing them out of the goodness of their hearts. They are seeking fame and fortune. Their publishers aren't trying to help people find true love, they want to sell their product. The only way to do that is to cause a sensation by saing sensational things.

Take all such "advice", if you must, with an enormous grain of salt.
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Old 03-26-2014, 09:07 AM
 
Location: Geauga County, Ohio
1,503 posts, read 1,856,499 times
Reputation: 1547
Quote:
Originally Posted by ohiogirl22 View Post
Amazon.com: Not Your Mother's Rules: The New Secrets for Dating (The Rules) eBook: Ellen Fein, Sherrie Schneider: Kindle Store

Might be a little late to the party on this one. So I recently read this book. And while some of this stuff is good, some of it was appalling. "Don't talk too much on a date". Really?

Has anyone read this, and if so what was your opinion. Also has anyone tried these "Rules"?
Don't talk on a date? Then what are you supposed to do?
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Old 03-26-2014, 09:11 AM
 
Location: Geauga County, Ohio
1,503 posts, read 1,856,499 times
Reputation: 1547
Quote:
Originally Posted by ohiogirl22 View Post
I think another thing I found really stupid was how they "suggest" you dress. Straight hair only (curly is too messy!), blonde/get highlights (brunettes feel "blah" were the exact words) 3" hoop earrings (studs are too boring), short tight skirts with lots of cleavage showing (no mane has ever been attracted to a woman in pants or who wears a scarf), heels as high as you can stand (a "creature unlike any other would NEVER wear flats), long french manicured acrylic nails (to feel like a goddess) and BRONZER! (so he thinks you just got back from St Barths)

This is the exact opposite of what I look like, and I am not really looking to change how I look. I am confused as to why it's so specific. I really don't know anyone who looks like this. Is this the norm where any of you live? It sounds very "jersey shore", where are in NYC most of the girls are going for the dark hair/white skin/red lipstick look.
Brunette here, with naturally curly hair. Never had an issue. Usually wear flats, and don't like heels. Not afraid to show some cleavage when the time is right, but that's not the only way to dress. Granted, I'm married, but this isn't an issue w/my hubby now and never was prior when I was dating.
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Old 03-26-2014, 09:12 AM
 
Location: Geauga County, Ohio
1,503 posts, read 1,856,499 times
Reputation: 1547
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
I completely agree, really, 3 inch gold hoops? Uh, not!

There are some things I definitely agree on, and that is, let the man come to you. Do not pursue a man. That leads to unhappiness. Do not re arrange your life for a man. I have made those mistakes myself. Lessons learned.
I agree, but there's nothing wrong with showing interest in a man, either. Make it obvious you're receptive, and let him go from there.
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Old 04-01-2014, 03:52 PM
 
Location: Massachusetts
6,301 posts, read 9,647,821 times
Reputation: 4798
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantabridgienne View Post
One thing to remember: authors of these type of books are not writing them out of the goodness of their hearts. They are seeking fame and fortune. Their publishers aren't trying to help people find true love, they want to sell their product. The only way to do that is to cause a sensation by saing sensational things.

Take all such "advice", if you must, with an enormous grain of salt.

I agree this is primary motive for writing this kind of an advice book.

I do think on some level they act as co-goddesses trying to re-make the world with their own vision and dream of how they wish it to be, not a clear vision of how it really is.
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Old 04-01-2014, 04:01 PM
 
50,795 posts, read 36,501,346 times
Reputation: 76591
Quote:
Originally Posted by CrueRulz View Post
Don't talk on a date? Then what are you supposed to do?
The operative phrase she uses is talk "too much". I babble when I'm nervous, and I know I babbled my way out of second dates more than a few times, lol. So to me don't talk "too much" is good advice.
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