Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Before anyone starts in with the "white knight" garbage, read the whole piece. This is a guy who spends a lot of time on 4chan, not exactly a bastion of feminist thought.
Here is his original account of his experience, as posted on Reddit:
Guys were full-on spamming my inbox with multiple messages before I could reply to even one asking why I wasn't responding and what was wrong. Guys would become hostile when I told them I wasn't interested in NSA sex, or guys that had started normal and nice quickly turned the conversation into something explicitly sexual in nature. Seemingly nice dudes in quite esteemed careers asking to hook up in 24 hours and sending them naked pics of myself despite multiple times telling them that I didn't want to.
Yep. I ran into a lot of that--and no, I did not post "provocative" photos or anything remotely sexual on my profiles. This is just how many men treat women on those sites (and the internet in general), why many women do not bother to send a polite "no, thank you," and why women should feel absolutely zero remorse in simply blocking men they are not interested in from the get-go, as soon as they approach.
As a gender men aren't on the whole particularly subtle it would seem. Or apparently possess much in the way of intellect, patience or indeed have many redeeming qualities when it comes to online/online dating behaviour.
I found this to be very true as well. When I first posted on an online dating site, I was a 23 year old slim fit woman, decent-looking, with a good job, childless. I met two men in particular who were great catches themselves (one of whom is my now-husband), but the rest were all trash, lots of perverted responses, vulgar, etc and for no reason other than I was a young female (I was even wearing a sweater in my picture!).
I think a lot of girls are rightly turned off of online dating for this reason, and part of the reason good male candidates don't get much response from women, because it can be overwhelming. No joke, 50+ messages straight away, it's like posting on craigslist and getting scammers.
As a gender men aren't on the whole particularly subtle it would seem. Or apparently possess much in the way of intellect, patience or indeed have many redeeming qualities when it comes to online/online dating behaviour.
... who knew.
Well, as one of the Reddit commenters noted, as a man, he assumes the lousy behavior occurs, but because he doesn't deal with it first-hand, he's not aware of the extent of it.
I found this worth sharing because a common refrain on these boards is that women have it so easy. It's a reminder that quantity of interest has nothing to do with quality.
Well, as one of the Reddit commenters noted, as a man, he assumes the lousy behavior occurs, but because he doesn't deal with it first-hand, he's not aware of the extent of it.
I found this worth sharing because a common refrain on these boards is that women have it so easy. It's a reminder that quantity of interest has nothing to do with quality.
Well, as one of the Reddit commenters noted, as a man, he assumes the lousy behavior occurs, but because he doesn't deal with it first-hand, he's not aware of the extent of it.
I found this worth sharing because a common refrain on these boards is that women have it so easy. It's a reminder that quantity of interest has nothing to do with quality.
It's an interesting find, to be sure. I'm sure I'm in the same boat....I know it happens, but don't fully realize the magnitude.
I have a couple of questions and I'm interested in your input:
1) What's to stop a woman from literally ignoring her inbox, knowing that a very high percentage of it is garbage and instead choosing to message guys that she likes? That way she could be selective about the quality.
2) What kind of success do you think an average woman would have ("success" here meaning, a reply that could potentially lead to a date) compared to an average man with regards to messaging someone on an OLD site?
Most women on dating sites receive tons of messages and have a wide selection to choose from so most women just aren't interested in and/or have the time to respond to most men. I have come across some women that are just on their for ego boosts, then they are the fake profiles but yes women have it a lot easier on dating sites.
As a society most men are raised to be men. To have chivalry, make the first move, and treat them like queens. This plays into every aspect of finding a date in person, online, or other.
I've been in the situation where I've exchanged my number with two different women. One woman, her first 4 text to me were shots of her boobs. Another woman we texted back and forth for a bit, she wanted to sext, and sent me her vagina. It happens both ways, but it overwhelming tilts towards men initiating it. The problem I see is that lets say every 1/20 women will sext something too you, and lets say there's 15/20 guys trying to find that 1/20 woman who will sext as quick as they would. The reality is, you have an abundance of horny men, with not enough women to satisfy the surplus. That one woman who wants to sext already has the guy, and 4 more waiting in queue. It's a surplus of men circling around a very low demand of women.
OLD sucked even back in the late 90s when I tried it briefly.
Here's how it works:
You have 1000 men and 84 women. Of those 84 women, 54 are real, 30 are fake profiles, usually created by men. Of those 1000 men, about 150 are decent enough guys that, while, like most men (and many women), definitely likely want sex at some point, they do also want far more than that, and aren't going to spam some woman's inbox like the OP said above.
However, the other 850 men are mostly online predators.
I will add a disclaimer that I do not believe most men as a whole are this way, and in fact most are good, decent people (I married one of those!) but in the online dating world, creeps abound, usually because they have the anonymity of the internet, and, most of them are socially and sexually inept anyway.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
