Looking to try something new, details inside (dating, long distance, how to)

[forest_ranger]

Hello folks!

I'm new here, first post. Sorry if it's in the wrong place or if I haven't poked around enough and have violated some rule or guideline for posting.

Tonight has been a weird place for me. I started thinking heavily on a subject that I've had on my mind for awhile now. Online, long-distance relationships.

Honestly, I didn't know where to go or how to start with this so I pulled up google and ran a quick search looking for forums. This seemed to be the most logical place.

Now for the subject at hand: I've been in and out of relationships for awhile now. Sex is really a non-issue for me as it seems to become available on a weekly basis. Honestly, I'm don't think sex is even a big deal for me at this point in life. At least not initially. It doesn't really constitute much for me aside from a fun night out. I'm a single 25 year old male. Average build, I've been told I'm decent looking and have had a general success with women in life. However it just seems that out of everyone I meet in my corner of the world, there's a connection missing. We've always had the physical stuff and have usually had fun together, but that mental connection was just not there.

I suppose I have a sour taste in my mouth from losing that which I previously had. You see, a few years back I became involved with someone in a way that may not be so traditional. We shared most of everything with each other. Our deepest thoughts, emotions and so on. There wasn't a day that went by that we didn't communicate. It was somewhat long-distance, but I also saw her from time to time.

The time we did spend together was amazing. Both in person and via email, phone or social media. This person felt as if I was connecting with my own soul and I miss that.

For good reasons, this person had to move on in life. Our mental relationship basically came to a grinding halt and our physical relationship had only briefly lived.

Now that she's gone, I haven't been able to replace it.

I think I've come to an understanding with myself about why: You see, she was a rare bird for the area I live in. Mind you I've traveled around a bit both for work and pleasure. She really reminded me of someone I'd meet in a progressive, liberal city. Honestly for an example, she could have been right out of the culture found in Ashville, NC or some place similar.

You don't find that here. I'm in the middle of bum-**** bible belt, where you can only get the time of day if you're a god fearing, uneducated, simple-minded, meth-peddling redneck.

I use some of those terms loosely, just venting. Perhaps you can understand what I'm getting at.

Nobody else has established a bond like that since. I've come close a couple of times, but alas it didn't work out.

Additionally, I've also come to terms with the fact that the mindset that I'm looking for has traditionally been in women 10-15 years older than me. So maybe it's a generation thing and I was born lost in time and space.

I digress.

The debate at hand is if I can establish and maintain an online relationship with someone that I might find out there somewhere. Is there anyone looking for the same?

Basically the cards are on the table and I can accept having a long-distance relationship. I can accept not having met the person. I believe my best chance of finding that kind of thing again is to broaden my horizons and work through the struggles associated with online dating.

Are there people out there who are in the same boat? How does one begin to mingle on the forums and find that person?

Any help or advice on the situation will be taken graciously. I'm sorry for the wall of text, but hopefully it will convey my feeling on the idea and spark an interest somewhere.

I just hope to rekindle that flame. All I need is a bit of tender.

[HighPSI]

Im sorry, That sucks to hear bro. What happened with the girl you had the long distance thing going on with that kept you from progressing further to something more tangible? Was she married or something?

[forest_ranger]

Thanks for your reply.

There were differences that kept things from moving further. There was a time when we spoke of creating a future but I think some things might have prevented that. The issue of children for one, and perhaps the distance thing. I'm really not entirely sure of a specific cause and don't care to think on it much either, now that it's gone.

That about sums it up, really.