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"I'm CLASSY! and you better treat me like a lady!"
Complete with pictures with fake boobs shown to the nipple line, and a dress you would have to get a Brazilian wax to wear.
Over the years I've come to the conclusion that the amount of class is inverse to the amount of times they say it.
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The overwhelming majority of online profiles of women have at least 1 child where I live. So i get the cliche "I'm trying to be the best mom in the world!" "My child is my world." "I have the most amazing child ever." "My child comes first."
I don't know, to me it seems so robotic. As an intelligent adult, if you don't assume these things when you say you have a child, which is an important thing to put into your profile, and you say something like "I've got a child, but I put my needs first before my childs and I just drop him off at some person's house to have wild and crazy weekends, oh and I LOVE weed!" ANY person would think that you're an unfit mother, so IMO, saying those things shouldn't have to be said!
Saying "I love to travel." is ambiguous. Yup, you love to travel, does that mean you want me to drive you to the grocery store, or do you put an emphasis on traveling overseas? These are the things that I think about when women put this into there profile and do not go into any details.
"I'm a down to earth girl." Well, you're certainly walking on the surface of the Earth, so this must be true! I guess there's a bunch of women who think men believe that all women really are gold diggers or something.
Probably the last thing that really annoys me, is when I read that you prefer wearing jeans and a shirt than a long black dress or something else that tells me that you don't prefer wearing expensive clothes, but when I view the pictures they're ALL suits/dresses. I could understand having 1 picture of a nice dress, but when I'm looking at 5 pictures and they're all you in a dress, someone is lying to herself.
There's definitely been a couple of interesting profiles though. Definitely interesting or fun to read through.
Oh oh, I forgot this one: "I look much younger than my age." You see this from both genders but sometimes I think they look 10-20 years older than the age they put on their profile lol, and even so, they should let their date be the judge of that.
This came up before, but I the list of things I wanted to add was so long, I just decided to create an entire profile. Men, be warned this is gonna look REALLY familiar. I used OKC as a template, and I swear that this entire thing came up off the top of my head, but as I went through, you'll see how much is recognizable...
Pictures: Five pictures all taken from an upward angle. Possibly one duckface (if under 30), one with cleavage, one with alcohol, one with friends and alcohol, and one in an outdoor location.
My self –summary
I tend to be pretty shy, but once you get to know me, I’m an open book! I’m really laid back, drama-free (and you should be, too!) and love to have a good time. I’m a jeans and t shirt kinda girl, but I’m just as comfortable in a dress and heels! I love to laugh, have fun, and travel! What I’m doing with my life
I’m currently in school to be a xyz (unless they have achild, then it’s “Being a mom!”) I’m really good at
Being sarcastic The first things people usually notice about me
My eyes and smile (unless they’re really well-endowed up top, then it’s “I want to say my eyes or my smile, but if I’m being honest, it’s my chest”) Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Food: Yes, please!
Music: I tend to listen to all kinds of music, except rap and metal
Books: (Comes in 2 flavors. Either modern/popular….Song of Ice and Fire Series, Hunger Games, Dan Brown, etc……or “Pretentious list of books I’ve never read”)
Movies: Everything except horror.
The six things I could never do without
Air
Water
Family
My child/pet if they have one
Love
My iPhone
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The future. On a typical Friday night, I am:
No Friday night is typical for me! I could be out with friends, or snuggling at home with a glass of wine and a good book! The most private thing I’m willing to admit:
Well if I told you, then it wouldn’t be private!
I’m looking for:
Age: (her age) – (her age + 10).....unless she's over 45, then it's (her age -10) - (her age +10)
Height: (her height) –no maximum
Near me
Who are single
For new friends, long term dating You should message me if
You should NOT message me if:
You’re just looking to hook up. There are other websites for that sort of thing.
You like drama
You’re a liar
You still live at home
You use text speak
Your first message just says “hey”
Some oddities that I've noticed:
I see the phrase "I tend to" a LOT.
Almost all women seem to be in school. Even if they're 35-40. In school. Does nobody work?
A lot of the stereotypes that I put in here aren't necessarily "bad", they're just on EVERY profile.
I'm aware that guys do a TON of this stuff too...but I don't come across their profiles as much, obviously. I'd LOVE to see an opposite-gender version of the above
Just reading that started to aggravate me. The only thing worse is a profile that gives absolutely nothing to go off of for a message (not that they'd respond anyways).
Sometimes they write nothing but "If you want to know about me, just ask!"
Oh ok...Well why don't you just take the space given to describe your likes and dislikes and use it? That way I don't have to start a conversation by saying "So, tell me about yourself."
OLD really does suck, but so does going out into the world and just randomly walking up to people..What'a ya gonna do?
Self-summary:
"Welcome to my attempt at sounding intelligent without being gauchely conceited. How is it working thus far?
"What have I to offer? Uniqueness? There are 7 billion people out there, most of whom owe their existence to two people from the previous generation finding something unique about one another. Seems like a rather futile proposition, doesn't it? Perhaps true uniqueness is instantiated in bland predictability.
"Middle America is the land of corn. I like corn, 8 for $2 at the local grocery store; but not when it becomes processed. Processing renders most things unpalatable, if not outright toxic. Most relationships are processed, as it were. They follow a standard rubric, beginning with the standard nonsense, and ending just as predictably. Yet there’s also something to be said for the predictable, for the simple – like the raw corn. I would prefer a relationship of simplicity, and yet, one that is invigoratingly interesting. I am looking for a partner who is a keen observer of her surroundings, an incisive critic of society and an unabashed iconoclast; not a protestor for the mere sake of protest, or an idealistic reformer, but a student of the human condition, for whom humanity itself forms a sort of lab, and for whom processed solutions are insufficient."
What I'm doing with my life:
"Most of my efforts are directed at eliding self-referential remarks. Many of my efforts fail. A standard maxim: “most things aren’t worth doing”. Idleness with a purpose! We live in a capitalist world. A enters into transaction with B, mutually volitional, mutually beneficial – assuming that information is equally known (hah!). Some deep thinkers regard that as freedom. Others aim for higher freedoms, dismissing the former as tawdry and vain. Historically, the two have had a grand time killing each other. In modern America, they collaborate, not entirely symbiotically, but at least with uneasy peace. The best scheme for understanding that, is a kind of passive acceptance: idleness with a purpose... assuming of course that the paychecks keep coming!
And so forth....
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