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So what is your hypothesis? What are you hoping to find?
If it's an experiment, there must be something you're looking to prove/disprove.
I'm looking to prove to myself two things:
> being a woman who does the approaching is either socially acceptable or not, HOW do men respond?
according to the men on CD - it never happens, and they feel like the whole responsibility is on them to be the 'aggressor'.
When I do this, will I be veiwed as aggressive, as unappealing because I took the 'power' of the initiation away?
If I were to get a date, would I be expected to pay for it, and open the doors, help him take off his coat?
Being the 'Social Observer' that I am it sounds like a great idea. Unfortunately nobody usually follows through with these things. I say you could see all of the above except no women will slap you. They will look at you like you are insane or with daggers in their eyes though.
I'm pretty good for my word, LS, and I'll keep the board posted, just don't expect a lot to happen quickly, because I don't get out much!
Fair enough....but they really don't. The women who complain that they don't get approached are really saying that they don't get approached by the good looking, rich, high-status guys that they want to date.
Fair enough....but they really don't. The women who complain that they don't get approached are really saying that they don't get approached by the good looking, rich, high-status guys that they want to date.
That's part of the beauty of women approaching. They can choose to approach the good looking, rich, high status guys if they feel so inclined. Or whatever appeals to them. She said that she'd approach the guys she thought were attractive in the OP. Good for her.
Fair enough....but they really don't. The women who complain that they don't get approached are really saying that they don't get approached by the good looking, rich, high-status guys that they want to date.
LOL!!!
Have you not been reading the posts here for some time, Ray? You sometimes seem extremely cynical and jaded. I certainly don't expect any of those things, high status, rich, good looking are all superficialities that don't appeal to me...
I notice the things other people don't pay attention to, and thats what gets my attention.
Just like an artist will notice the aspect of light and shade, I would notice the way he held himself, or something subtle.
So, no, as I said, it would be those who I found attractive, not guys who look like GQ models. Or act like it.
I do this already... but not just with men and not with the intention of picking anyone up. I just get a kick out of saying nice things and doing nice things for people. You get all kind of results. Some people do treat you like you have alien antenna sticking out of your head. Some are thrilled though. Some people act really bizarre too. Never got a date from it though. I've been asked for a date after starting a conversation--but for some reason that only has happened lately (and I am sort of dating someone right now, so I would feel guilty accepting a date. Silly, I know... since I am not exclusive with this man. But I just can't do it for some reason).
Fair enough....but they really don't. The women who complain that they don't get approached are really saying that they don't get approached by the good looking, rich, high-status guys that they want to date.
Oh knock it off silly. I was set up with 3 guys that made moocho dinario, borrrrrrrring as sin.The last guy I dated I thought he never shut up, my eyes glazed over.
I'm not surprised that you do, Jilla, you seem like a pretty healthy emotionally together type of person.
And I think thats kind of what we have to do, in order to break out of our mental subjugation to our unhealthy paradigms.
Maybe thats part of why I'm doing it too, if the guys here represent a slice of the general population, then maybe they need examples of healthy and 'normal' relationship process.
If I can do it, so can they...
I have an idea, I've heard so many guys on here talk about how women never do the approaching, I'm going to try it out...for the rest of the month, every time I see a guy who I feel is attractive - I'm going to walk up to them and tell them so. I'm going to
If they are with another woman I will compliment her on her good taste in men.
Then I'm going to report back to CD with the results...that will be March the 18th.
How many think that the guys will look at me like I just stepped off a spaceship? A lot...like 50%...but most of whom will do it in a good way.
How many think the guys will laugh in my face and walk away? Very few. I'll say 5%
How many will get out a peice of paper and a pen and start exchanging phone numbers? Of the available guys? I'll say 10-20%. I think more would want to, but be totally thrown off by being approached in the first place and not be able to pull the trigger.
How many of them with women, will the woman present slap me? 0% I think what you'll run into a lot is the guy giving his girl a "ha!" kind of wink/smile/look, and then she'll talk trash about you after you leave. Almost none would dare slap you, for fear of looking like overly threatened.
To make it a real experiment, lets say I have to go for a quota of 25 guys total...
Ready, set.... GO
A lot of your responses are gonna be based on things we can't tell, like how attractive you are, or how confident/awkward you may be. But I put my thoughts in the quoted post. Again, I applaud your efforts!
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