Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-17-2014, 10:24 PM
 
Location: Southeast Arizona
3,378 posts, read 5,011,051 times
Reputation: 2463

Advertisements

I knew there was going to be something to this semester.

Shayla wants to break up. Because of the long-distance, understandably, I actually saw it coming, but I sent her a Valentine's gift. To show, at least that I care. But I think that's as far as it's going.

Graduate school is off the table for a couple years too. I guess I don't feel bad about that, I'm still going on my campus tour next Summer. Perhaps it'll all make sense there when I see it for myself. Now a little over 2 months till the end. But I can now safely say college life and dating have been an utter wash and a set of very cruel failures, and I don't want to live it again.

When I leave home this Summer, maybe things will change. But I'm not going to hold to any illusions about women, love, or school after I leave this town and state in the past.

My two buddies are leaving their parent's places as well. Though, I don't think I'll move in with them because they smoke pot.

So, there you have it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-17-2014, 10:40 PM
 
22,278 posts, read 21,737,640 times
Reputation: 54735
Oh my goodness.

First of all, there was nothing to break up with "Shayla." There was no relationship there.

Second, why delay grad school for 2 years? Do you actually believe you will be motivated to do anything after 2 more years of living in your childhood bedroom under the thumb of your controlling parents? You will be in a rut of your open making and will no doubt come here crying about it and blaming society or something.

So you are graduating from college and you denounce it a failure because you didn't get laid? What?

Boo hoo. You are destined to "fail" because you keep chasing fantasies (because it's easy) and giving up on reality (because it's hard).

Toughen up and get real with yourself, man.

You get ONE LIFE.

No DO OVERS.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-17-2014, 10:46 PM
 
Location: Southeast Arizona
3,378 posts, read 5,011,051 times
Reputation: 2463
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
Oh my goodness.

First of all, there was nothing to break up with "Shayla." There was no relationship there.

Second, why delay grad school for 2 years? Do you actually believe you will be motivated to do anything after 2 more years of living in your childhood bedroom under the thumb of your controlling parents? You will be in a rut of your open making and will no doubt come here crying about it and blaming society or something.

So you are graduating from college and you denounce it a failure because you didn't get laid? What?

Boo hoo. You are destined to "fail" because you keep chasing fantasies (because it's easy) and giving up on reality (because it's hard).

Toughen up and get real with yourself, man.

You get ONE LIFE.

No DO OVERS.
No, she straight told me she wanted to break up.

No, I'm just saying that college didn't turn out the way I hoped it would, and thank God it's almost over for a while. I never said I was destined to fail, and like I said, I'm getting the hell out of dodge in a few months.

All it really did was crack my sense of idealism, not saying the universe is some Lovecraftian hellhole or something.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-17-2014, 10:49 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,216 posts, read 107,956,787 times
Reputation: 116166
School and dating haven't been a series of very cruel failures, OP. You're really over-dramatizing. You've done fine in school, haven't you? So, nothing cruel or failed, there. Dating didn't work out, but there weren't any crushing break-ups, not much in the way of an emotional roller-coaster. Some disappointments, yes. But disappointments are a far cry from "very cruel failures".

You have 2 or 3 months left. I strongly suggest you go to the school counseling center and get into regular (weekly) therapy. It's FREE (as I keep saying). You have a tendency to blow things out of proportion, and I suspect you've never fully recovered from that difficult time surrounding your grandmother's death. Do yourself a favor, and just make an appointment to talk to someone about it all. You'll probably feel better just for having a sympathetic ear. This is the last time in your life, until/unless you go to grad school, that you'll have access to FREE counseling. When you call to make the appointment, tell them you need someone to help with grieving/bereavement trauma, plus relationship issues.

Good luck!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-17-2014, 10:58 PM
 
Location: Southeast Arizona
3,378 posts, read 5,011,051 times
Reputation: 2463
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
School and dating haven't been a series of very cruel failures, OP. You're really over-dramatizing. You've done fine in school, haven't you? So, nothing cruel or failed, there. Dating didn't work out, but there weren't any crushing break-ups, not much in the way of an emotional roller-coaster. Some disappointments, yes. But disappointments are a far cry from "very cruel failures".

You have 2 or 3 months left. I strongly suggest you go to the school counseling center and get into regular (weekly) therapy. It's FREE (as I keep saying). You have a tendency to blow things out of proportion, and I suspect you've never fully recovered from that difficult time surrounding your grandmother's death. Do yourself a favor, and just make an appointment to talk to someone about it all. You'll probably feel better just for having a sympathetic ear. This is the last time in your life, until/unless you go to grad school, that you'll have access to FREE counseling. When you call to make the appointment, tell them you need someone to help with grieving/bereavement trauma, plus relationship issues.

Good luck!
Actually, I think enough time has passed to allow me to let go.

College being several years worth of screaming matches and such, but in the end succeeding. You can call that an accomplishment. It really is.

Shayla is free to be her own person. We'll still talk, chances are we'll see each other again at a different time.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-17-2014, 11:16 PM
 
22,278 posts, read 21,737,640 times
Reputation: 54735
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desert kid View Post
But I can now safely say college life and dating have been an utter wash and a set of very cruel failures, and I don't want to live it again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desert kid View Post
College being several years worth of screaming matches and such, but in the end succeeding. You can call that an accomplishment. It really is.
Which of these stories do you actually believe? Why not accept that the truth about your life is not black and white but a million shades of gray. Stop trying to sum everything up. Stop looking for a formula.

It may be beneficial for you to start reading about the basic tenets of Buddhism. Open your mind a tiny bit and you might see how very far off track and spiritually crippling your style of thinking is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Desert kid View Post
Shayla is free to be her own person. We'll still talk, chances are we'll see each other again at a different time.
How magnanimous of you. Such ego.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-17-2014, 11:27 PM
 
Location: Southeast Arizona
3,378 posts, read 5,011,051 times
Reputation: 2463
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
Which of these stories do you actually believe? Why not accept that the truth about your life is not black and white but a million shades of gray. Stop trying to sum everything up. Stop looking for a formula.

It may be beneficial for you to start reading about the basic tenets of Buddhism. Open your mind a tiny bit and you might see how very far off track and spiritually crippling your style of thinking is.



How magnanimous of you. Such ego.
Ego? I'm not going to force her to be with me if she doesn't want to. She says I'm still her favorite person, so I'm not going to complain about it.

My life has more than a few shades of gray, I've come to terms with that. I just want to hammer out something concrete from the facts.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-18-2014, 12:09 AM
 
22,278 posts, read 21,737,640 times
Reputation: 54735
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desert kid View Post
Ego? I'm not going to force her to be with me if she doesn't want to.
What on earth are you talking about?

You really do not understand what people are trying to communicate to you. Do you?

Think about how she treated you, her "favorite person."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-18-2014, 12:45 AM
 
Location: Southeast Arizona
3,378 posts, read 5,011,051 times
Reputation: 2463
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
What on earth are you talking about?

You really do not understand what people are trying to communicate to you. Do you?

Think about how she treated you, her "favorite person."
I guess I don't.

All I'm getting from this is, that once she was romantically attracted to me, she moved away, we talked long distance, she said she loved me, as of last month started avoiding me, and here we are now.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-18-2014, 09:46 AM
 
Location: Southeast Arizona
3,378 posts, read 5,011,051 times
Reputation: 2463
Doesn't help that my math class has been turbulent and hard to understand.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:18 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top