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I knew there was going to be something to this semester.
Shayla wants to break up. Because of the long-distance, understandably, I actually saw it coming, but I sent her a Valentine's gift. To show, at least that I care. But I think that's as far as it's going.
Graduate school is off the table for a couple years too. I guess I don't feel bad about that, I'm still going on my campus tour next Summer. Perhaps it'll all make sense there when I see it for myself. Now a little over 2 months till the end. But I can now safely say college life and dating have been an utter wash and a set of very cruel failures, and I don't want to live it again.
When I leave home this Summer, maybe things will change. But I'm not going to hold to any illusions about women, love, or school after I leave this town and state in the past.
My two buddies are leaving their parent's places as well. Though, I don't think I'll move in with them because they smoke pot.
First of all, there was nothing to break up with "Shayla." There was no relationship there.
Second, why delay grad school for 2 years? Do you actually believe you will be motivated to do anything after 2 more years of living in your childhood bedroom under the thumb of your controlling parents? You will be in a rut of your open making and will no doubt come here crying about it and blaming society or something.
So you are graduating from college and you denounce it a failure because you didn't get laid? What?
Boo hoo. You are destined to "fail" because you keep chasing fantasies (because it's easy) and giving up on reality (because it's hard).
First of all, there was nothing to break up with "Shayla." There was no relationship there.
Second, why delay grad school for 2 years? Do you actually believe you will be motivated to do anything after 2 more years of living in your childhood bedroom under the thumb of your controlling parents? You will be in a rut of your open making and will no doubt come here crying about it and blaming society or something.
So you are graduating from college and you denounce it a failure because you didn't get laid? What?
Boo hoo. You are destined to "fail" because you keep chasing fantasies (because it's easy) and giving up on reality (because it's hard).
Toughen up and get real with yourself, man.
You get ONE LIFE.
No DO OVERS.
No, she straight told me she wanted to break up.
No, I'm just saying that college didn't turn out the way I hoped it would, and thank God it's almost over for a while. I never said I was destined to fail, and like I said, I'm getting the hell out of dodge in a few months.
All it really did was crack my sense of idealism, not saying the universe is some Lovecraftian hellhole or something.
School and dating haven't been a series of very cruel failures, OP. You're really over-dramatizing. You've done fine in school, haven't you? So, nothing cruel or failed, there. Dating didn't work out, but there weren't any crushing break-ups, not much in the way of an emotional roller-coaster. Some disappointments, yes. But disappointments are a far cry from "very cruel failures".
You have 2 or 3 months left. I strongly suggest you go to the school counseling center and get into regular (weekly) therapy. It's FREE (as I keep saying). You have a tendency to blow things out of proportion, and I suspect you've never fully recovered from that difficult time surrounding your grandmother's death. Do yourself a favor, and just make an appointment to talk to someone about it all. You'll probably feel better just for having a sympathetic ear. This is the last time in your life, until/unless you go to grad school, that you'll have access to FREE counseling. When you call to make the appointment, tell them you need someone to help with grieving/bereavement trauma, plus relationship issues.
School and dating haven't been a series of very cruel failures, OP. You're really over-dramatizing. You've done fine in school, haven't you? So, nothing cruel or failed, there. Dating didn't work out, but there weren't any crushing break-ups, not much in the way of an emotional roller-coaster. Some disappointments, yes. But disappointments are a far cry from "very cruel failures".
You have 2 or 3 months left. I strongly suggest you go to the school counseling center and get into regular (weekly) therapy. It's FREE (as I keep saying). You have a tendency to blow things out of proportion, and I suspect you've never fully recovered from that difficult time surrounding your grandmother's death. Do yourself a favor, and just make an appointment to talk to someone about it all. You'll probably feel better just for having a sympathetic ear. This is the last time in your life, until/unless you go to grad school, that you'll have access to FREE counseling. When you call to make the appointment, tell them you need someone to help with grieving/bereavement trauma, plus relationship issues.
Good luck!
Actually, I think enough time has passed to allow me to let go.
College being several years worth of screaming matches and such, but in the end succeeding. You can call that an accomplishment. It really is.
Shayla is free to be her own person. We'll still talk, chances are we'll see each other again at a different time.
But I can now safely say college life and dating have been an utter wash and a set of very cruel failures, and I don't want to live it again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desert kid
College being several years worth of screaming matches and such, but in the end succeeding. You can call that an accomplishment. It really is.
Which of these stories do you actually believe? Why not accept that the truth about your life is not black and white but a million shades of gray. Stop trying to sum everything up. Stop looking for a formula.
It may be beneficial for you to start reading about the basic tenets of Buddhism. Open your mind a tiny bit and you might see how very far off track and spiritually crippling your style of thinking is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desert kid
Shayla is free to be her own person. We'll still talk, chances are we'll see each other again at a different time.
Which of these stories do you actually believe? Why not accept that the truth about your life is not black and white but a million shades of gray. Stop trying to sum everything up. Stop looking for a formula.
It may be beneficial for you to start reading about the basic tenets of Buddhism. Open your mind a tiny bit and you might see how very far off track and spiritually crippling your style of thinking is.
How magnanimous of you. Such ego.
Ego? I'm not going to force her to be with me if she doesn't want to. She says I'm still her favorite person, so I'm not going to complain about it.
My life has more than a few shades of gray, I've come to terms with that. I just want to hammer out something concrete from the facts.
You really do not understand what people are trying to communicate to you. Do you?
Think about how she treated you, her "favorite person."
I guess I don't.
All I'm getting from this is, that once she was romantically attracted to me, she moved away, we talked long distance, she said she loved me, as of last month started avoiding me, and here we are now.
Doesn't help that my math class has been turbulent and hard to understand.
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