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I like a man who has the motivation and self- confidence to ask me out. I like that masculine trait. Not to say others can't be happy working it differently. I'm 47 and never asked a man out or initiated first contact on a dating site.
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You're also assuming women think the same about dating and relationships as men, which they don't.
Good point.
One thing I've noticed is this suggestion to send signals to men you spot in public that you find attractive.
Well, I personally don't go into situations scanning the area for attractive men. From what men say, they do that. In order for a man to stand out to me, he has to make himself stand out (in an attractive way) & that usually means he has to initiate contact.
Also, attraction is usually more than just sheer visual appeal of a person, for women. Unless a man is truly beautiful, most of what will make him attractive is his person, as displayed through demeanor &/or interaction. As a woman, this means I need time to observe him or to interact. As noted above, I may not even be aware of him, so observing may not ever occur in some short time frames. This is why he has to make you aware of him somehow.
One thing I've noticed is this suggestion to send signals to men you spot in public that you find attractive.
Well, I personally don't go into situations scanning the area for attractive men. From what men say, they do that. In order for a man to stand out to me, he has to make himself stand out (in an attractive way) & that usually means he has to initiate contact.
Also, attraction is usually more than just sheer visual appeal of a person, for women. Unless a man is truly beautiful, most of what will make him attractive is his person, as displayed through demeanor &/or interaction. As a woman, this means I need time to observe him or to interact. As noted above, I may not even be aware of him, so observing may not ever occur in some short time frames. This is why he has to make you aware of him somehow.
The bolded is so true! I'm not going to be motivated to approach someone based on looks alone. There's no way to know he's safe to be around, for one thing, or if he's at all interesting. Women need more information to go on, in order to be interested.
From my experience and observation this is very true about NYC women. The reason why women are so picky in NYC is due to its sheer density and amount of people in the city. Also women in NYC are very shallow and stuckup which adds more fire for women to be picky.
Doesn't that break down at the neighborhood level? Hunts Point women are as picky as they come? Baychester? Jackson Heights? Not so much.
The bolded is so true! I'm not going to be motivated to approach someone based on looks alone. There's no way to know he's safe to be around, for one thing, or if he's at all interesting. Women need more information to go on, in order to be interested.
How do people acquire - or convey - such information, especially in the context of a limited encounter e.g. at the supermarket or a bar?
One thing I've noticed is this suggestion to send signals to men you spot in public that you find attractive.
Well, I personally don't go into situations scanning the area for attractive men. From what men say, they do that. In order for a man to stand out to me, he has to make himself stand out (in an attractive way) & that usually means he has to initiate contact.
Also, attraction is usually more than just sheer visual appeal of a person, for women. Unless a man is truly beautiful, most of what will make him attractive is his person, as displayed through demeanor &/or interaction. As a woman, this means I need time to observe him or to interact. As noted above, I may not even be aware of him, so observing may not ever occur in some short time frames. This is why he has to make you aware of him somehow.
"You can observe a lot just by watching." - Yogi Berra
How do people acquire - or convey - such information, especially in the context of a limited encounter e.g. at the supermarket or a bar?
For me the first thing is he's friendly... grumpy men are a complete turn off. I can tell if a man is friendly if he's smiling, helping a little old lady reach something on the top shelf, etc. Another thing is humor... I love funny guys. You can tell sometimes by their tee-shirts. I saw a guy with a tee-shirt that said, "Never trust Atoms... they make up everything" so I told him his shirt was funny and that physics jokes are the best and started talking. Clues like that work for me.
EDIT: and in the case of the physics tee-shirt guy... he had intelligence too. that might be implied by the tee shirt as well, given the type of joke. But that's a rare thing to be able to figure out by observing someone.
From my experience and observation this is very true about NYC women. The reason why women are so picky in NYC is due to its sheer density and amount of people in the city. Also women in NYC are very shallow and stuckup which adds more fire for women to be picky.
New Yorkers are dense; this is true.
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