Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
What do you think, especially men over 35 (but all comments welcome of course)
We have dated six times now. The fifth date we ended up at my house and he spent the night. We slept in my bed, in our underwear after making out for a good hour or so on my couch. We pretty much slept intertwined, but he did not make a move escalating beyond that.
The sixth date was last night, I cooked dinner at his place. We talked, watched a movie, lots of making out and heavy petting. I spent the night and once again things did not escalate which I find weird. After wondering if there is some sort of surprise problem that will be sprung upon me, I feel asleep and dreamt he is a F to M transexual and is hiding what's doing down there. (I blame CD for that and the high number of threads on the subject.)
What gives, why the wait?
This guy generally isn't physically shy; we met online and had our first date on Valentine's Day. He physically escalated on that date rubbing my back and shoulders and later kissing me quite nicely. (Had he not done so I probably would have been luke warm on dating him again.)
He isn't a particularly religious person so it isn't that.
He isn't overly conservative either; we are pretty much on the same wavelength there.
Any ideas?
The thing is, usually by now I would be very giddy about the person I am dating, but I am not due to the lack of sex. That said, I do enjoy his company quite a bit. Is this an example of Mr. Good Enough? Is he just an old fashioned guy? Should I be glad to be developing a relationship without sexual chemistry (which is fleeting) entering the picture prematurely? Or is he hiding ED or some other terrible secret?
I felt him up a bit and yes he was erect but I didn't fully grabit to determine just how much.
It's been six dates across one month. Hmmm, now that I look at the total length of time it doesn't seem that unusual. Maybe he prefers exclusivity first (which is a lot to ask in a month).
I have not initiated sexual intercourse because I prefer a man to lead in that regard. But I feel I have made it obvious that I am interested and ready. I mean to take off my clothes and crawl into his bed is a pretty good indicator, no?
So you were interested enough to touch it, but you didn't want to grab it? You didn't really want to have sex then, you're just as much to blame. You should have wrapped your lips around it, I bet that would have got him going then.
OP, just make a move if you want it, which you obviously do, pretending to not want it is not cool.
Ever think the guy is actually enjoying taking things slow ?
No, I still believe that if you can't discuss sex with your partner, you are unready to have sex with that partner. So you say what you want plainly, give him a chance to reply, and open the discussion. It doesn't have to be DURING sex!
Women who can't ask for what they want sexually make me
There are few things less sexy than, "Hey, let's talk about sex before we have it." No thanks. I will let things happen organically or not at all. I started this thread asking what the guy may be thinking, not to ask how to get him to bang me. Getting shagged is quite easy.
So you were interested enough to touch it, but you didn't want to grab it? You didn't really want to have sex then, you're just as much to blame. You should have wrapped your lips around it, I bet that would have got him going then.
Sorry I am not the type to drop to my knees and blow a guy. I want us to build up sexually together, or not at all.
PS you have written several times about how you do not respect women who throw themselves at you sexually such as having sex with you on the first date. You should not be telling me to pull out his junk and start slobbering on it since you yourself would enjoy then then pretend you don't know me. Make up your mind already.
I'm in your age bracket, and honestly, I would find his "lack of initiative" odd. You guys have gone out 6 times in one month, which is a reasonable time frame where sex starts to become a possibility.
Your going to have to either wait and see if he takes the lead, or broach the subject with him. It could be any number of things, lack of drive to wanting to be respectful.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
I'm in your age bracket, and honestly, I would find his "lack of initiative" odd. You guys have gone out 6 times in one month, which is a reasonable time frame where sex starts to become a possibility.
Your going to have to either wait and see if he takes the lead, or broach the subject with him. It could be any number of things, lack of drive to wanting to be respectful.
This post is exactly where my mind has been this entire time.
I read every single post in this thread...to be honest, I just feel sorry for this poor guy. Because of my grand heart I'm going to portray him in a positive light and just take comfort in that. I'm sure he is a good man who loves your company and can provide the love you need. Somewhere in his heart he wants to take things slow. Maybe it was how he dated his first wife, maybe it's just how he treats women, maybe he wants to make sure he knows he loves you before having sex, maybe just maybe he doesn't want to feel that he is just using you sexually and instead wants a slow gradual bond, someone to grow old with, he sees you as someone that when the time comes in old age you will be by his side.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
