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It was explained earlier what women do when they approach. They don't act like men, they act like women. At least three of us said what we dois smile, say hello, and start a conversation (or try to). Women break the ice as an approach. That's how they show they might be interested. The man can't just stand there and expect everything to happen, he's got to participate too. In which case, ask for her number.
I agree, if a woman starts the conversation then its my job to seal the deal. But a lot women don't even want to do that, they think that if they look your way or smile at you, that you should know that means she is interested.
I agree, if a woman starts the conversation then its my job to seal the deal. But a lot women don't even want to do that, they think that if they look your way or smile at you, that you should know that means she is interested.
Okay, was just making sure I wasn't being mistaken for a stand there an do nothing person. I worked hard to change (back when I was shy, I used to be that way).
It was explained earlier what women do when they approach. They don't act like men, they act like women. At least three of us said what we do is smile, say hello, and start a conversation (or try to). Women break the ice as an approach. That's how they show they might be interested. The man can't just stand there and expect everything to happen, he's got to participate too if he's interested. In which case, ask for her number. If you don't, she may just assume you aren't interested and are just being polite.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean
It was explained earlier what women do when they approach. They don't act like men [...]The man can't just stand there and expect everything to happen, he's got to participate too if he's interested. In which case, ask for her number. If you don't, she may just assume you aren't interested and are just being polite.
Well, I think you're missing something critical here.
When you say, "they don't act like men", you're referring to alpha males. Alpha males will cold approach and have no hesitation in doing so. Alpha males will know what hints you are giving them.
All these comments people make, such as "men can't commit", "men only want sex", etc., do not apply to men who are not alpha males!
My point is, the only people who need the advice you are trying to give are the kind of people who would not approach you in the way you are discussing. Alpha males or guys who play games are able to do successfully because some types of women enjoy their company and encourage them.
If you want the beta males, which are better for LTRs, you have to encourage us, not the alpha males. By encourage us, I mean don't criticize us for not doing what alpha males do, and don't accuse of being like them. If you like a beta male who doesn't seem to realize you like him, please do approach him, and be clear as to how you feel, don't flirt "like a woman" in expectation that he will respond "like a man". Beta males won't respond to that with aggression. We're the ones who are going to treat you with love and respect and not act aggressively. If you want someone to respond to it with aggression do it with an alpha male! But then don't complain that all the men you encounter act in a certain way since you're only seeking out alpha males. Beta males are a long term investment, you have to get to know us, let it happen naturally.
Anyway, take all this with a grain of salt, after all, I've never been in a relationship. Just sayin'. ((hugs))
I wish I'd made the poll more complicated, to determine how often women have cold-approached. I'm a little surprised so far that most women have done it, but it's probably because few women are hermits and it's usually not obvious when women do it.
Zero "meet market" votes, which is not what I expected, but I guess men and women who don't want to cold-approach tend to avoid those places, a personality thing.
I don't know if it counts, but I've gone up to men in social situations and introduced myself. These were situations where I knew the host & some others & so it's natural to introduce yourself to those you don't know. Or the man in question was with a mutual friend, so I was kind of saying hello to the friend also. This "worked" as far as the man suggesting to his friend we all do something & then eventually asking me for my number, etc. It was sort of a lot of unspoken stuff - no direct intention was stated or anything.
I suppose this is just the more indirect way women work. Or this just feels more "natural".
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((hugs))
k my body 
