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I think there is a diversity of opinions and preferences here. Personally I am finding that nice seems to appeal more than rude to women as they get older - things that fly in your 20s might no longer fly in your 50s. To clarify I think women generally have a greater appreciation for nice as they get older, and a greater distaste for rude. (Where were these women when I was young? Oh, that's right, chasing after hot guys.)
Heck, not just women, but people in general. I'm finding that I have a much lower tolerance for certain things at age 29 that was fine by me at age 25.
Not all women want some a$$ hat douche bag when they are young. There are ladies that appreciate kindness that are younger than 18. Not that I would want any of them at my age, I'm just saying. These are usually the ones that are not noticed.
It depends on what woman you go after. I find that a woman that I have to be a complete a$$-haul to is not worth my time anyway. I find it rather emotionally taxing to treat someone like crap. I wouldn't want to treat the person I'm supposed to love like trash. Fortunately, I keep running into tons of women that would rather not be dumped on and pushed around.
Sounds like you have a massive phobia about the whole thing.
Girls/women/females ARE JUST PEOPLE.
Do you not have a mother? Grandmother? Did you grow up in an all boys orphanage or something?
Chances are, even if you do get a girl, your anxiety will transform itself in another direction and you'll be fretting as to whether or not the earth is going to run out of oxegyn or something.
The virginity is not the problem per se, the anxiety is.
You missed my point. He needs to walk before he can fly. I'm not talking about flirting. I'm talking about simply talking with out the goal of a date. And I'm not sure why meeting women when volunteering or through school would leave less time or opportunity for personal discussion. How much time do you need? Why do you need to be professional? Can't you just be personable?
I guess what I'm saying is I am a bit more introverted when around larger groups of people (when I'm out in public volunteering, working, etc.) since I feel like I'm representing a company or organization. I am less likely to step outside the box and initiate a conversation unless they come to me, which doesn't happen with women in general, I've had to make the moves generally to even meet women. It's worked alright when I do, but it can be draining to be quite frank.
Just start talking to people as I said in that other thread.
That has really helped me over the last 5-6 years. Strangers while your standing in line at the checkout, the cashiers, waitresses, old women and men love to talk to people. Once you find out you're capable of making conversations flow you get more confident.
Take it up a notch with your friends and start being the planner of the group. It helps, a lot!
Not people you're attracted to, just everyday people.
When you "Cold approach" women don't be so forward! Just say something about the situation, current events, whatever is going on in the moment then relate to something else.. start a conversation.
If you by chance see her again a day or two later then you "Oh hey! how are you" kind of thing, after awhile you know each other well enough through small talk for some coffee or a drink together.
Sounds like you have a massive phobia about the whole thing.
Girls/women/females ARE JUST PEOPLE.
Do you not have a mother? Grandmother? Did you grow up in an all boys orphanage or something?
Chances are, even if you do get a girl, your anxiety will transform itself in another direction and you'll be fretting as to whether or not the earth is going to run out of oxegyn or something.
The virginity is not the problem per se, the anxiety is.
I agree with you. I have a mother, sisters, one female friend, and my grandma. But I know them and are comfortable around them. My anxiety is with women I don't know.
I agree with you. I have a mother, sisters, one female friend, and my grandma. But I know them and are comfortable around them. My anxiety is with women I don't know.
I agree with you. I have a mother, sisters, one female friend, and my grandma. But I know them and are comfortable around them. My anxiety is with women I don't know.
Do you really believe they should say yes in this situation?
You are a complete stranger, with an agenda. You walk up to a woman completely out of the blue and ask for personal information from her (name) followed by wanting some of her time for your benefit, and have given her nothing in return other than showing up in her face asking questions. She's sizing you up to determine if you're a potential threat to her wellbeing, given that she knows nothing about you.
Along with speaking to a counselor or therapist, you might want to try rejection therapy. Rules - Rejection Therapy A woman I was with at a seminar tried 30 days of rejection therapy. The goal was to get a "no" from someone every day. Two examples she gave were buying a coffee at her local coffee shop and asking if she could serve the next customer, and when she got her hair cut, asking the hairdresser if she could cut her hair in return.
It might sound silly but it's meant to get people used to being told no, so you realize that it is not the end of the world, it's merely a blip on the radar.
It doesn't sound silly at all. I've often thought some of these struggling young men on here should go get a direct sales job like knocking doors or dare I say,telemarketing. There is so much rejection, a person gets immune to it.
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