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I've always preferred the idea of cold approaching over meeting a woman in a social circle just because there's a lot less drama involved in cold approaching. Recently, I've started to change my stance on that a little. A female friend in my math class about a month or so ago when we were in the library studying with a couple of other people I had just met; had mentioned that her best friend was single and is looking for a boyfriend. I didn't say anything cause I didn't feel as if she was my type (cultural wise as well). Second, another female friend in my main social circle told me that she and one of her friends are planning a trip to D.C in June, and she invited me. She told me her friend is one of those fun and party type girls. She didn't specifically say she was looking for a boyfriend, but sort of hinted at it. And recently, I had lunch with a couple of good friends, and one of them that knows I'm currently looking for a girlfriend; told me that one of his attractive and cute female friends that's looking for a boyfriend is coming on Sunday (made plans with him to go to a spa with his wife and a few other people). He showed me her Facebook, and she's definitely attractive. To add a little more into my 1st/2nd sentence. With social circle, your friend can put in a good word for you, and then you have peer approval at your disposal.
To any of those people struggling via cold approach, or OLD, try your social circle out (if you have one). Even if you have to tell your friends that you're currently looking for a girlfriend, they'll try their best to hook you up if they're true and genuine, and have single and attractive female friends.
Last edited by NewYorker11356; 04-30-2014 at 12:44 AM..
Social circle is by far the easiest way to meet women.
That being said, from experience, things can get weird within the group when things don't work out. Even if she's just a hook up buddy, things will be weird if you find a girl, in or out of the circle, you actually want to be with.
Why do you feel you need some kind of formula (or "stance" as you call it) for how you meet women? Shouldn't meeting new people be an organic process that runs in the background as you go through life?
I will never understand this tendency to quantitate human interaction as if it was a science project.
Why do you feel you need some kind of formula (or "stance" as you call it) for how you meet women? Shouldn't meeting new people be an organic process that runs in the background as you go through life?
I will never understand this tendency to quantitate human interaction as if it was a science project.
If we could all live in the world with blinders on and believe things just "happen." There are motives, factors, and reasons for everything. The more you understand these things, the better outcomes you can make for yourself.
Why do you feel you need some kind of formula (or "stance" as you call it) for how you meet women? Shouldn't meeting new people be an organic process that runs in the background as you go through life?
I will never understand this tendency to quantitate human interaction as if it was a science project.
To add to my previous post, most of us men were not born with a rack and a pretty face and have most of life offered to us by other men. The smartest of us learn things about life to give ourselves the best advantage. An idea that would never occur to pretty women because, well, they don't need to.
The overwhelming majority of people meet their significant others through social networks. Cold approaching has a very, VERY high rate of failure for most men. I think you are wise to rethink your strategy.
If you're looking for an actual relationship, someone from your friends social circles is a great way to find someone, because your friends can vouch for that person. It's how I met my SO (we're getting married in 2 months).
If you're looking for random hookups, I would avoid the social circles because it is awkward and you don't want to be the d-bag that goes around hurting his friends friends. That's a recipe not only to hurt those women but lose your own friends as well.
I've dated within my circle, but it never got too serious even though I think they wanted it to be. I had came to my senses and thought it would be really weird and awkward if things didn't work out.
But yes dating within a circle is easy if you are decent looking.
I've always preferred the idea of cold approaching over meeting a woman in a social circle just because there's a lot less drama involved in cold approaching. Recently, I've started to change my stance on that a little. A female friend in my math class about a month or so ago when we were in the library studying with a couple of other people I had just met; had mentioned that her best friend was single and is looking for a boyfriend. I didn't say anything cause I didn't feel as if she was my type (cultural wise as well). Second, another female friend in my main social circle told me that she and one of her friends are planning a trip to D.C in June, and she invited me. She told me her friend is one of those fun and party type girls. She didn't specifically say she was looking for a boyfriend, but sort of hinted at it. And recently, I had lunch with a couple of good friends, and one of them that knows I'm currently looking for a girlfriend; told me that one of his attractive and cute female friends that's looking for a boyfriend is coming on Sunday (made plans with him to go to a spa with his wife and a few other people). He showed me her Facebook, and she's definitely attractive. To add a little more into my 1st/2nd sentence. With social circle, your friend can put in a good word for you, and then you have peer approval at your disposal.
To any of those people struggling via cold approach, or OLD, try your social circle out (if you have one). Even if you have to tell your friends that you're currently looking for a girlfriend, they'll try their best to hook you up if they're true and genuine, and have single and attractive female friends.
I am very happy for you that your friends are trying to help fix you up with their female friends romantically, that is wonderful news Good luck and hope that everything works out for you!
Unfortuntately and although I wish it had turned out otherwise, in my own personal experiences with trying to seek help from my social circles in that regard, I have not had any luck with friends wanting to help me with that...and so the cold approach has historically been my only viable approach. I have only ever had one friend offer to help ever, but since I didn't think the girl he was suggesting was a good match personality-wise, I politely declined and he didn't offer again -- and that was the one and only time he ever offered to help. For all other friends, I have asked before in a very nice, polite, and respectful way but they were always either unable or unwilling to assist me with that
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Good luck and hope that everything works out for you!
