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This came up in conversation with one of my sons recently.
He has a good friend who has a very large tattoo of his wife's name - "Colleen" - on his neck.
He is now divorcing and lacks the funds to have the tat removed, plus he really likes it.
I'm just wondering how his next SO is going to feel about having to live with that tattoo.
Then I read this letter to Dear Abby and it seems to confirm that this could be an issue for a lot of people.
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. We live together, and his child from another woman lives with us. I love my boyfriend and his child, but one thing prevents me from imagining us being married: He has his child's mother's name tattooed on his body.
The tattoo bothers me for many reasons, and I'd like him to have it covered up if we ever do marry. He says he doesn't want to get rid of it. When the topic comes up, we argue.
Am I unreasonable for wanting him to get rid of the tattoo? If that woman really is in his past, why does he need a constant reminder of her on his body? -- IN A STINK OVER INK
How would YOU handle a situation like this?
My ex tattooed my name on his back. I suspect he perhaps has a lot of explanation to do. Poor guy.
I've never dated a heavily tattooed man, but I have dated a beautiful man with a small barb wire tattoo around his toned muscled arm.. (Gorgeous)
Personally, tattoos don't bother me. I used to have a small upside down cross and pentagram tattooed on my finger, and was forced to laser it off by my mom. Hindsight being 20/20 I think my mom was absolutely right. I made a decision out of pure impulse, and I shouldn't be living with my stupidity for the rest of my life. I remember what my brother told me on that day he took me to the laser center, "Do you even know what that symbol means? If you want to be a bad ass, make some changes in your life and becoming somebody. Otherwise, you will forever just be this immature drama queen."
My brother has a memorial tattoo on his back, (He lost somebody in the Military service) I don't think girls had any problems with that. It tells his story, it is also part of who he really is.
So I guess even if a person tattooed his or her lover's name on his or her body, that is part of the history cannot be denied. Just like military memorial tattoos I guess. Why punishing somebody for being in love?
Well, everybody can give a politically correct answer because not everybody is forced to face a certain situation. I guess if a person is very bothered by this issue, a good open honest conversation should be the first step.
According to my own personal experience, laser for tattoo removal is 100 times more painful than tattooing, especially on my finger. It took 3-4 times to remove it completely. I never want to go through that again.
I don't believe a name tattoo should cause somebody's uncontrollable jealousy though.
Last edited by lilyflower3191981; 04-30-2014 at 01:27 PM..
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
This came up in conversation with one of my sons recently.
He has a good friend who has a very large tattoo of his wife's name - "Colleen" - on his neck.
He is now divorcing and lacks the funds to have the tat removed, plus he really likes it.
I'm just wondering how his next SO is going to feel about having to live with that tattoo.
Then I read this letter to Dear Abby and it seems to confirm that this could be an issue for a lot of people.
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. We live together, and his child from another woman lives with us. I love my boyfriend and his child, but one thing prevents me from imagining us being married: He has his child's mother's name tattooed on his body.
The tattoo bothers me for many reasons, and I'd like him to have it covered up if we ever do marry. He says he doesn't want to get rid of it. When the topic comes up, we argue.
Am I unreasonable for wanting him to get rid of the tattoo? If that woman really is in his past, why does he need a constant reminder of her on his body? -- IN A STINK OVER INK
How would YOU handle a situation like this?
If she's that insecure, he should get her name tattooed on the opposite side of his neck, IF they ever married. He has a kid with this other woman, so they are in someway always going to be a part of her life. She might as well get comfortable with that idea now - as its a reality.
Optimally, this is a good reason to never get anyones name permanently tattooed on your body. You never know what the future may bring. Except to honor "Colleen" as a mother of his child, it really serves no purpose. Heck, if it was a requirement for fathers - some guys might end up with a half a dozen names scrawled around there neck, lol.
My ex tattooed my name on his back. I suspect he perhaps has a lot of explanation to do. Poor guy.
I've never dated a heavily tattooed man, but I have dated a beautiful man with a small barb wire tattoo around his toned muscled arm.. (Gorgeous)
Personally, tattoos don't bother me. I used to have a pentagram tattooed on my finger, and was forced to laser it off by my mom. Hindsight being 20/20 I think my mom was absolutely right. I made a decision out of pure impulse, and I shouldn't be living with my stupidity for the rest of my life. I remember what my brother told me on that day he took me to the laser center, "Do you even know what that symbol means? If you want to be a bad ass, make some changes in your life and becoming somebody. Otherwise, you will forever just be this immature drama queen."
My brother has a memorial tattoo on his back, (He lost somebody in the Military service) I don't think girls had any problems with that. It tells his story, it is also part of who he really is.
So I guess even if a person tattooed his or her lover's name on his or her body, that is part of the history cannot be denied. Just like military memorial tattoos I guess. Why punishing somebody for being in love?
Well, everybody can give a politically correct answer because not everybody is forced to face a certain situation. I guess if a person is very bothered by this issue, a good open honest conversation should be the first step.
According to my own personal experience, laser for tattoo removal is 100 times more painful than tattooing, especially on my finger. It took 3-4 times to remove it completely. I never want to go through that again.
I don't believe a name tattoo should cause somebody's uncontrollable jealousy though.
but the question wasn't about any old tattoo. i love tattoos. i've got two myself. a memorial tattoo such as you describe isn't anywhere close to having an ex's name. i like tattoos on guys a lot. but that's not what this thread is about.
i'm surprised it took this long for "jealous" to come into this thread. am waiting for "insecure" to pop in any time.
but the question wasn't about any old tattoo. i love tattoos. i've got two myself. a memorial tattoo such as you describe isn't anywhere close to having an ex's name. i like tattoos on guys a lot. but that's not what this thread is about.
i'm surprised it took this long for "jealous" to come into this thread. am waiting for "insecure" to pop in any time.
well, to me, a lost love or old love is like a military memorial tattoo. To me, that is. The new woman in the man's life should just view that name as a long lost love. Nothing more.
As a matter of fact, my ex tattooed my name on his back. He is also the guy who dumped me in the end.
I wish I can do the explanation for him. If he is with the new woman, obviously, we are history. Why punishing him for declaring his love for me using body art? I will not be the woman who marries him in the end, the new woman shouldn't be that jealous or insecure or whichever word should be used here.
If she's that insecure, he should get her name tattooed on the opposite side of his neck, IF they ever married. He has a kid with this other woman, so they are in someway always going to be a part of her life. She might as well get comfortable with that idea now - as its a reality.
Optimally, this is a good reason to never get anyones name permanently tattooed on your body. You never know what the future may bring. Except to honor "Colleen" as a mother of his child, it really serves no purpose. Heck, if it was a requirement for fathers - some guys might end up with a half a dozen names scrawled around there neck, lol.
LOL Or just say "Oh, Colleen is an old dog I loved and passed away." Problem solved hehehehe
Definitely a deal breaker for me. I don't want to look and see some other woman's name tattoo'ed on my boyfriend or husband. And why would he want to look at someone else's name? It would definitely make me question him if he didn't want to cover it up or remove it like maybe he was still attached to her.
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