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I don't think it's that different than a guy being disturbed by hearing about certain events in a woman's sexual past. Some things you can deal with, but others...not so much.
I'm not sure what the equivalent of male homosexual acts in a female's past would be. Are you comparing unbridled promiscuity to a man having a single 'full' homosexual encounter? Do you think that guys would be put off by lesbian acts in a woman's past (I don't think they would, mostly because it's 'soft' and not really considered sex unless there is proper penetration)?
I think the reluctance is pure homophobia... women are put off by the cultural association of male homosexuality with AIDS, dirtiness, effeminacy, promiscuity, etc. and they feel that a man is spoiled or feminized somehow by gay sex... especially if he is the receptive partner.
I'm not saying you don't have a right to feel the way you do, just that I think your reasons are most likely rooted in your own homophobia.
1) Your poll is probably skewed by gay/bi men voting before fully understanding what you were asking (like me)
2) There are a lot of other sexual things guys do together besides anal. Most likely, he didn't have it. My two guesses are that maybe they watched porn together and they "helped each other out", or maybe someone went down on him. I'd really doubt that it went further.
3) I have a few thoughts on "straight" guys doing things with other guys in particular. I'm going to start by saying that no completely straight guy will be sexually attracted to other guys. That's kind of the definition of straight. However, I suppose a straight guy could use a gay guy to "get off" if that makes sense. Although, I'd have pretty large suspicions that they were at least semi-bi. Which leads me to....
4) Why does it really matter? I mean who cares if another guy touched this guy's member!? Are people worried he's going to have HIV or something? Maybe he is bi leaning towards straight. So what? He's interested in you. I just don't understand what the big deal is. Gay/bi men don't just want to screw every person we see. We have standards just like everybody else. Honestly, what are your concerns?
1) Your poll is probably skewed by gay/bi men voting before fully understanding what you were asking (like me)
2) There are a lot of other sexual things guys do together besides anal. Most likely, he didn't have it. My two guesses are that maybe they watched porn together and they "helped each other out", or maybe someone went down on him. I'd really doubt that it went further.
3) I have a few thoughts on "straight" guys doing things with other guys in particular. I'm going to start by saying that no completely straight guy will be sexually attracted to other guys. That's kind of the definition of straight. However, I suppose a straight guy could use a gay guy to "get off" if that makes sense. Although, I'd have pretty large suspicions that they were at least semi-bi. Which leads me to....
4) Why does it really matter? I mean who cares if another guy touched this guy's member!? Are people worried he's going to have HIV or something? Maybe he is bi leaning towards straight. So what? He's interested in you. I just don't understand what the big deal is. Gay/bi men don't just want to screw every person we see. We have standards just like everybody else. Honestly, what are your concerns?
Thanks for your post. You made some good points. I really don't have any concerns since I haven't even talked to this guy at all. I was just browsing profiles and was surprised that a self-proclaimed straight guy (my search criteria for matches is set to "straight guys only") would admit that he had a homosexual experience in college, and I was wondering how common it was since it's not something I hear every day.
Okay that makes more sense. I doubt he's completely straight (although it is possible). He honestly probably thinks he is though. It isn't easy to accept being something other than straight.
The main thing I would watch out for in this situation, is if he was a truly closeted gay or doesn't even realize he is gay. There are a lot of guys that actually are bi and are attracted to both sexes in varying degrees. Many of the ones one the straight end will just identify as straight because they haven't even accepted themselves as bi (this is probably the most common case in situations like the one you describe). However, there is the possibility that he is a severely repressed/closeted gay guy. I know people that used to be like this. The best way to tell this is to watch a his body language in public. When a hot guy walks by, does he check them out, change his posture, smile at them, etc? Same goes for a hot girl. Our mouths can lie easy, but it's hard to stop yourself from checking out and reacting to someone you find attractive.
I would never date a man who, at some point, was involved in homosexual sexual activities. It's not that I'm homophobic, but it is quite unsettling to be honest.
It's more socially acceptable for women to be open about bisexual activity than it is guys. I think that's why people say its more women than men, because the guys are more likely to hide it
I think the reluctance is pure homophobia... women are put off by the cultural association of male homosexuality with AIDS, dirtiness, effeminacy, promiscuity, etc. and they feel that a man is spoiled or feminized somehow by gay sex... especially if he is the receptive partner.
I'm not saying you don't have a right to feel the way you do, just that I think your reasons are most likely rooted in your own homophobia.
Odo, stop and think about you are really saying here.
Twice in this thread you have stated that if a woman doesn't want to sleep with or date men who have had homosexual encounters (or one encouter,) then it must be homophobia. Can you truly not comprehend of only being attracted to someone who is strictly attracted to your variety of plumbing, of pheremones, of femininity?
Can you look people in the eye and tell them that the only way they aren't _______phobic is to be willing to spread their legs for that kind of person?
I've dated a couple men who had been with men. Not a big deal to me. If he doesn't identify as bi then he's not bi. I've been with women and I don't identify as bi. I'm a 2 on the Kinsey scale, or what some call heteroflexible.
I've dated a couple men who had been with men. Not a big deal to me. If he doesn't identify as bi then he's not bi. I've been with women and I don't identify as bi. I'm a 2 on the Kinsey scale, or what some call heteroflexible.
Do you know exactly what they did with the other guys though? Would it have mattered?
Speaking from a gay's perspective, we would tend to have forced sexual experience with the gender we're not attracted to (and not enjoy it). And this is actually sorta common in the LGBT world. Now I haven't had any sexual experience with a girl, but if my partner said he did I wouldn't care. Hell, even if he said that he sort of liked it, I would go "meh". It's kinda immature to go like "ugh! how could you!". If women had that reaction to their man then it's a degree of homophobia and ignorance on human sexuality. If they enjoy you, then they're attracted to you - who cares if they slept with him, her, this, that, before you....
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