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I found that my husbands best friend had an affair on his wife. This is a couple that we spend A LOT of time with. What is hurting me right now, is that my husband, who is my best friend, knew about the affair for a week and never told me. I trust my husband but I don't understand why he didn't tell me. I thought we told each other everything. Do I just let it go that he didn't tell me, or do I have a right to feel hurt?
From the conversations I've had with my boyfriend and male friends about stuff like this, they tend to stay out of things much more than women do. He probably just thought it wasn't his business to pry.
My female friends have all talked about this and we would tell one another right away -- but only if we had actual proof with our own two eyes. Not hearsay. My male friends say they would stay out of it for the most part.
Yes... girls tend to gossip much more then men. I would see being told it by the female.. but from a guy's perspective (I'm not a guy) I can understand why, no matter what his personal thoughts were on the matter, he just figured to stay out of it to be safe.
He probably just wanted to stay out of it. Also, maybe he knows how much women gossip and he didn't want anything getting back to anybody. He's protecting himself and was probably protecting you too by not saying anything to you. He probably figured it was none of his business, so why should it be any of your business? Don't be mad at him. Some things are for sharing other things not so much.
Men have a secret pact. I don't think they even speak about the secret pact to each other. It's just bred into them.
Remember...men think with the opposite side of the brain. Not the wrong side, just the other side.
That totally sucks and I have a similar relationship with my husband so I know how you feel. Have you tried talking to him? He should know how hurt you were but he had his reasons - whether they were the right ones or not. Let him talk to you about it. In the end, it was nobody's business but the two people involved. You have every right to be hurt but don't lose light of the fact that this is about your friend and not you.
I'll bet the OP's husband probably wishes HE didn't even know. This kind of information puts everyone in an awkward position!
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