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I'm 24 years old and I am a single mother. I have a 6 year old and 3 year old, they have different fathers, neither are involved at all in any way and never have been. Do you think this alone makes me undateable/not LTR material?
I feel like I'm a decent catch in other ways. I have a good education and work as a social worker, I am very ambitious and motivated and compassionate. I have my own car and condo, no help from parents or welfare or child support. I think I'm a generally nice and decent person with a good sense of humor. I get a good amount of compliments on my looks.
Several friends have told me that is why it's hard for me to date, because no man wants to have to be raising kids from 2 other men. I don't really think that is why but then again i have no clue.
I'm 24 years old and I am a single mother. I have a 6 year old and 3 year old, they have different fathers, neither are involved at all in any way and never have been. Do you think this alone makes me undateable/not LTR material?
I feel like I'm a decent catch in other ways. I have a good education and work as a social worker, I am very ambitious and motivated and compassionate. I have my own car and condo, no help from parents or welfare or child support. I think I'm a generally nice and decent person with a good sense of humor. I get a good amount of compliments on my looks.
Several friends have told me that is why it's hard for me to date, because no man wants to have to be raising kids from 2 other men. I don't really think that is why but then again i have no clue.
No, you're not undateable.
And the trouble isn't you. The trouble is, you are still at an age where many, if not most, most of your male peers are just not interested in LTRs. Guys in their 20s are all about hooking up, FWB, stuff like that. There are exceptions, but not many. Things will probably change a lot, for the better, in another few years. You just have to wait.
Kids (especially from multiple babydadies) puts you down a couple of steps on the prospect ladder, so you might have to adjust your standards accordingly...
It also depends a lot on what kind of mother you are, if you're going for the freakish "super-mom, I wanna spoil my kids to death 5 times over before they grow up"-type of mom, then yes that=undateable.
But since you're 24, the market is still on your side, just find the average desperate dude and you're set.
Your kids will have to come first in your life now, which certainly will make it difficult to date, much less have a long term relationship. Hopefully you will raise your kids to have manners and treat other people with respect; if not, you can basically kiss any kind of relationship goodbye.
Any person who would want to have a relationship with you will also have to like your kids and be able to get along with them. There are men out there who dont mind a LTR with a woman with kids, but a lot of that depends on your kids. If they are sweet and adorable and mannerly, it makes it easy to like them. If they are little banshees...forget it.
Just one of many drawbacks of having kids without marriage. I know you dont want or need a lecture, but why do young women do this?
I'm not a guy but I would be scared of having sex with you. I know that's not helpful, but you will have to convince future dates that you understand how birth control works now and that you have become a more responsible, mature and discerning person.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
Reputation: 41381
24 with two kids? That will knock you out of the running for most guys in their 20s, contrary to [Mod cut.] , it is not because most guys in their 20s want easy sex (which is by no means true) but they do not want to deal with someone who has kids. Your 30s will probably be a better time to date since guys will probably be more willing to deal with kids.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 06-01-2014 at 06:37 PM..
Reason: Personal attack.
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