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It's not MY belief system, I just did my best to generically reverse the gender advice from the article to show how unoriginal it is. The main point being, everything in the original article isn't groundbreaking advice, it's written so that women will look at it and confidently nod to themselves that their problems are other people's fault. There's plenty of articles written the same way for men, and it's all drivel.
And judging by the posts around here, it looks like there's a market for me to write the next, "Wish it. Want it. Do it." and get rich off of idiots.
Lol. No doubt.
We live in a time of "everything is everyone else's fault."
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31
It's not MY belief system, I just did my best to generically reverse the gender advice from the article to show how unoriginal it is. The main point being, everything in the original article isn't groundbreaking advice, it's written so that women will look at it and confidently nod to themselves that their problems are other people's fault. There's plenty of articles written the same way for men, and it's all drivel.
And judging by the posts around here, it looks like there's a market for me to write the next, "Wish it. Want it. Do it." and get rich off of idiots.
Bingo.
Lowest common denominator people. If things are going well, consistently over time, and there are re-occurring themes, time to look in the mirror!
The linked article is quite right about managed expectations and the importance of having something substantive to offer. The world owes nothing to the individual; and the individual owes nothing to the world.
But the article is excessively dire and grandiose. It purports that finding a mate is some enormous grand quest, the pivotal struggle of a man's life, a religious journey beginning from acknowledgment of one's iniquity and proceeding through expiation of sin and finally to apotheosis. Were this to have broadly been the case, we would have had vast millions of unattached men – and also presumably like numbers of unattached women. While I freely admit that establishing a relationship is not easy, and establishing a thriving and stable relationship is even more difficult, this is not the defining achievement of one's life, nor is success reserved for some exalted elite who have proven themselves.
Populations tend to equilibrate. Somehow men and women manage to find each other, without exalted achievements or crafty exercise of subtle strategies. The 7+ billion people currently walking around – most being each the product of one breeding pair, and not harems or factories – are testament to the fact that mating options remain available to most people, most of the time.
But in keeping with the article's theme, I do find it to be curious that in the modern world, it is easy and cheap to find clean drinking water (without boiling it!), and easy and cheap to illuminate one's dwelling at night. It has become no great achievement to live to age 80. We can cross the oceans in one day, and travel to nearly any foreign land without any serious risk of getting killed or enslaved. It has become exceedingly rare for babies to die in infancy or for women to die in childbirth. Most people's dietary struggle consists in avoiding consuming too many calories, instead of suffering from having access to too few. These are all astonishing achievements! But instead of village elders assigning mates in seasonal council, we're on our own.
We can get water by turning on the faucet, and food from dozens of retail establishments within walking distance. But to find a mate, we have to go hunting. How ironic!
I have to agree with Ruth. There are some guys here (not a lot, but some) who give women flack for saying the very things this man says in his article. There is a reason why this man wrote what he wrote... it certainly didn't come out of a vacuum. There are a lot of misconceptions about women going around and I think a lot of it does come from bad/cheesy/and poorly thought out PUA info and such.
As I mentioned before, I'd really like to see some of the aforementioned "flack". I think we'd have a really hard time finding guys actually ARGUING points in the article...it's THAT generic. It's like making a list that reads, "Love is good. Feeling sick isn't fun." None of the things from the list are "misconceptions about women". It's just guys who suck at dating. Go back to the list that I wrote that reversed the genders. Would you call it, "good advice for women"? I hope not.
The idea that you live your life and try to be a good person and give back to your community and be productive and challenge yourself and grow...that be the point of life...and then IF you so happen to meet someone you get along with, have stuff in common with, can share your life with...THEN you get married?
Why are we on some crazy chase for something that should happen as a RESULT of life...and treating it as an endpoint instead of something that should come about naturally?
I really don't see the point of *pursuing* relationships or a dating life or whatever. That's like forcing a friendship. Things should be natural and evolve organically, not made up to fit some ideal or goal.
The idea that you live your life and try to be a good person and give back to your community and be productive and challenge yourself and grow...that be the point of life...and then IF you so happen to meet someone you get along with, have stuff in common with, can share your life with...THEN you get married?
Why are we on some crazy chase for something that should happen as a RESULT of life...and treating it as an endpoint instead of something that should come about naturally?
I really don't see the point of *pursuing* relationships or a dating life or whatever. That's like forcing a friendship. Things should be natural and evolve organically, not made up to fit some ideal or goal.
I totally disagree. A woman/relationship is not just going to fall into your lap. Men have to pursue women. It's no different than anything else in life. If you wanted to become a lawyer, you have to "pursue" that career, you can't just hope somebody shows up at your house and offer you a job. You have to go through the process of going to college, then going to law school, then do a summer associate/internship, then you have to pass the bar. Then after that you hope you get noticed by one of the big firms and they offer you a job.
It's not MY belief system, I just did my best to generically reverse the gender advice from the article to show how unoriginal it is. The main point being, everything in the original article isn't groundbreaking advice, it's written so that women will look at it and confidently nod to themselves that their problems are other people's fault. There's plenty of articles written the same way for men, and it's all drivel.
And judging by the posts around here, it looks like there's a market for me to write the next, "Wish it. Want it. Do it." and get rich off of idiots.
Now I do agree with the aricle, when he says that if a woman isn't showing mutual interest, then the guy should move on and not waste time. Also that people should work to improve themselves, but shouldn't that apply to everybody? That's not just a man problem.
As I mentioned before, I'd really like to see some of the aforementioned "flack". I think we'd have a really hard time finding guys actually ARGUING points in the article...it's THAT generic. It's like making a list that reads, "Love is good. Feeling sick isn't fun." None of the things from the list are "misconceptions about women". It's just guys who suck at dating. Go back to the list that I wrote that reversed the genders. Would you call it, "good advice for women"? I hope not.
Maybe you don't notice it because you aren't in the middle of some of these debates (none of us can read or even take interest in all the threads). LOL, honestly, you are probably the smart one by not getting mixed up in such debates. Anyway, I don't have time to go back through all old threads and find examples, but I mean stuff like this:
Well, like I said, it's not all (or even a lot of men) here who argue against the points. It's just a few. And I've gotten into debates with them.
Cases in point that I know I've debated in these forums (just off the top of my head):
- The concept that women don't care about looks AT ALL or say they don't care about looks AT ALL. No matter how many times I say it (or others say it) while it's not #1 on on our lists, we care about looks and for the most part, good looking women end up with good looking men. The flip side of this is men who argue ALL women care about are looks.
- #4 Your in a Hurry. Some men here believe that within 5 seconds of seeing you all women know if they are sleeping with you or not. #4 points out that most women need time to get to know a guy and no, most of us aren't bed hopping with alpha males every night. Ever see the threads where men say you should take a woman's number and multiply by 10? That's this debate.
- #6 and #7 are ones I debate with the Eyeores of this forum. The defeatist who say they can't get a girlfriend and never will. When it's pointed out to them that they should work on improving themselves, they fight back and say it doesn't matter to women what they achieve.
Again, it's not all or even most men on this forum, but I know for a fact that I've been in debates like this in other threads and have been scoffed off as a woman and that women "don't say what they really mean and want." That's why it's nice that a man is also saying some of these same things.
Now I do agree with the aricle, when he says that if a woman isn't showing mutual interest, then the guy should move on and not waste time. Also that people should work to improve themselves, but shouldn't that apply to everybody? That's not just a man problem.
I agree with you that these things apply to everyone (not just men... but both men and women).
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