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dude, your a guy. unless you are some model or celeb girls will not be approaching you. that is the man's job.
Not all true.
I am a male and I don't think I'm some model or celeb and I occasionally get approached by women. But I do believe that it is more on the male to approach.
So I see your point.
You should not expect anyone (of the opposite sex) to approach you if you are a guy.
Last edited by TJenkins602; 06-17-2014 at 01:20 PM..
Reason: I AM a Male!!! WTH?
Men need to get better at recognizing the signs that a woman many be open to you approaching.
Going back to the smile technique. There is a sort of second rule about smiles and eye contact. If she smiles at you, looks away, and then looks at you again. You should definitely try to talk to her. That is usually a sign of interest.
If she doesn't return your smile, then you shouldn't bother.
If she smiles quickly, and looks away. Well that is trickier. You should follow it up with a "Hi" and see how she reacts. Another "hi" and a smile, and a look...go in for a chat.
Just a "hi" and she speeds off, she was just being friendly.
Many women don't go up and chat without cause. But we do send subtle signals we might want to talk to you.
The tips [for men approaching women] aren't wildly different. Men need to give women signals they are open to being approached. Smiling and eye contact are a good start.
Let me clarify. I don't expect women to approach me. I get that. I may mean more open body language and not have a feeling that they are looking through me. I didn't mean them walking up to me really.
I've been approached by women from time to time though when I'm out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408
The tips [for men approaching women]aren't wildly different. Men need to give women signals they are open to being approached. Smiling and eye contact are a good start.
Totally out-there advice, I'll admit it, but did you ever think of wearing glasses?
I knew a very tall, muscular, handsome black guy who used to be concerned that people found him intimidating or unapproachable, professionally and socially. He looked like a big football player, and I think guys were a little afraid of him, and maybe women thought he was a little imposing or intimidating. He started wearing glasses (no prescription) and he said it was like magic. For some reason, men and women at work started finding him more approachable, and he started meeting women that he had much more in common with (professional, intelligent).
Oddly, a few years ago, there was a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode that sort of addressed this topic but in a really funny way. Leon, Larry's "roommate" who was black, started wearing glasses and people were bending over backwards to be nice to him and he started meeting a better class of women.
The TV show took it to an extreme, but I do think that big, imposing, athletic guys can seem more approachable if they wear glasses. It kind of "softens" you but not in an un-masculine way. You just seem less scary to other guys and somehow sweeter, more intelligent and more "grown-up" to women.
And I have no idea how race and glasses interact, but as a white woman, I can say that with a white guy, whether he wears glasses or not, it doesn't really change his attractiveness. But most of the times I've been attracted to black guys, they were guys who wore glasses. Like a cute black guy might be an "8" on attractiveness to start with, but add glasses and he becomes like a 9.5. I guess it might be like total baldness. On a white guy, it doesn't "work" as often as it "works" on a black guy. And OMG, a handsome black guy with a totally shaved head AND glasses.....
Let me clarify. I don't expect women to approach me. I get that. I may mean more open body language and not have a feeling that they are looking through me. I didn't mean them walking up to me really.
I've been approached by women from time to time though when I'm out.
This is what I meant. Thank you Jade.
Many women aren't necessarily "bold" enough to do a direct approach. So pay attention to the other subtle tricks. There is the idea of "orbiting" like we'll place ourselves in conversation distance. So there is definitely some benefit to talking to the people around you. Many women combine with with smiles and eye contact in order to encourage you to approach.
There are other women (I am one of them) who won't necessarily approach you directly, when you are alone. But I'll chime in on one of those group conversations, to your neighbors. It is an easy way to "approach" without actually approaching. Then watch for orbiting behavior.
Totally out-there advice, I'll admit it, but did you ever think of wearing glasses?
I knew a very tall, muscular, handsome black guy who used to be concerned that people found him intimidating or unapproachable, professionally and socially. He looked like a big football player, and I think guys were a little afraid of him, and maybe women thought he was a little imposing or intimidating. He started wearing glasses (no prescription) and he said it was like magic. For some reason, men and women at work started finding him more approachable, and he started meeting women that he had much more in common with (professional, intelligent).
Oddly, a few years ago, there was a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode that sort of addressed this topic but in a really funny way. Leon, Larry's "roommate" who was black, started wearing glasses and people were bending over backwards to be nice to him and he started meeting a better class of women.
The TV show took it to an extreme, but I do think that big, imposing, athletic guys can seem more approachable if they wear glasses. It kind of "softens" you but not in an un-masculine way. You just seem less scary to other guys and somehow sweeter, more intelligent and more "grown-up" to women.
And I have no idea how race and glasses interact, but as a white woman, I can say that with a white guy, whether he wears glasses or not, it doesn't really change his attractiveness. But most of the times I've been attracted to black guys, they were guys who wore glasses. Like a cute black guy might be an "8" on attractiveness to start with, but add glasses and he becomes like a 9.5. I guess it might be like total baldness. On a white guy, it doesn't "work" as often as it "works" on a black guy. And OMG, a handsome black guy with a totally shaved head AND glasses.....
LOL! This is a good one. Taye Diggs always looks better with his glasses. Lebron too.
They could definitely fit the GQ look too.
You are right, you know how we like to stereotype people with glasses as smart, it is a good trick.
Totally out-there advice, I'll admit it, but did you ever think of wearing glasses?
I knew a very tall, muscular, handsome black guy who used to be concerned that people found him intimidating or unapproachable, professionally and socially. He looked like a big football player, and I think guys were a little afraid of him, and maybe women thought he was a little imposing or intimidating. He started wearing glasses (no prescription) and he said it was like magic. For some reason, men and women at work started finding him more approachable, and he started meeting women that he had much more in common with (professional, intelligent).
Oddly, a few years ago, there was a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode that sort of addressed this topic but in a really funny way. Leon, Larry's "roommate" who was black, started wearing glasses and people were bending over backwards to be nice to him and he started meeting a better class of women.
The TV show took it to an extreme, but I do think that big, imposing, athletic guys can seem more approachable if they wear glasses. It kind of "softens" you but not in an un-masculine way. You just seem less scary to other guys and somehow sweeter, more intelligent and more "grown-up" to women.
And I have no idea how race and glasses interact, but as a white woman, I can say that with a white guy, whether he wears glasses or not, it doesn't really change his attractiveness. But most of the times I've been attracted to black guys, they were guys who wore glasses. Like a cute black guy might be an "8" on attractiveness to start with, but add glasses and he becomes like a 9.5. I guess it might be like total baldness. On a white guy, it doesn't "work" as often as it "works" on a black guy. And OMG, a handsome black guy with a totally shaved head AND glasses.....
Yeah, I forgot about that.
People who wear glasses for some reason seem less intimidating.
I wear glasses quite often since I'm in the computer field and I have bad eyes
Buzz cut, beard and gautee, and no glasses surprisingly gets me more approaches when I go out, but I personally like the look of glasses on me. I train MMA with people and they say when they are sparring me that I look a LOT intimidating then because I have my glasses off
One of my female friends described me as a hot nerd that doesn't know I'm hot lol.
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Lebron too.
